


WA$$UP~~ Bros~~

by Iinohugs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha will be a thing eventually, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff and Angst, Group Chat Fic, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Texting, distance cant stop the wow superior agenda, im not funny but we can pretend, not a soulmate au but theyre all soulmates, there is a plot but this is mostly a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iinohugs/pseuds/Iinohugs
Summary: [xxx-xxx-0914 added xxx-xxx-1003, xxx-xxx-1025, xxx-xxx-0811, xxx-xxx-0320, xxx-xxx-0915, xxx-xxx-0922, and xxx-xxx-0208 to the chat]xxx-xxx-0914: WA$$UP~~ Bros~~xxx-xxx-1003: hi? what is thisxxx-xxx-0914: a groupchat, duh!xxx-xxx-0922: yeah we can see that but why? i don't know anyone herexxx-xxx-0914: i don't know anyone either but that was the point!xxx-xxx-0914: bonus points that you guys don't know each other either!xxx-xxx-1025: why was adding a bunch of strangers to a groupchat a goal of yours?xxx-xxx-0914: to make friendsxxx-xxx-1025: okay fair enough-orjisung adds seven random numbers into a groupchat hoping to make new friends
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 223
Kudos: 974





	1. sadpussy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! theres notes at the beginning and the end and IM SORRY for that but i just wanted to do a little key for the phone numbers/usernames (even tho theyre kind obivous)
> 
> chan - xxx-xxx-1003/dad  
> minho - xxx-xxx-1025/pussyluvr  
> changbin - xxx-xxx-0811/spearb  
> hyunjin - xxx-xxx-0320/stan got7  
> jisung - xxx-xxx-0914/sunshine  
> felix - xxx-xxx-0915/stan twice  
> seungmin - xxx-xxx-0922/stan day6  
> jeongin - xxx-xxx-0208/baby
> 
> (yes, thier phone numbers are their birthdays and have no significance to the fic whatsoever, i just wanted to make it easy to tell who was who)
> 
> also! in this fic, chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea! i wanted some long distance angst for minsung (:
> 
> may we have a moment of silence for the loss of the long standing draft title of this fic, 'sadpussy' ): she will be missed. in her honor, that is now the title of the first chapter

(december 13th)

**[xxx-xxx-0914 added xxx-xxx-1003, xxx-xxx-1025, xxx-xxx-0811, xxx-xxx-0320, xxx-xxx-0915, xxx-xxx-0922, and xxx-xxx-0208 to the chat]**

  
  


**xxx-xxx-0914:** WA$$UP~~ Bros~~

**xxx-xxx-1003:** hi? what is this

**xxx-xxx-0914:** a groupchat, duh!

**xxx-xxx-0922:** yeah we can see that but why? i don't know anyone here 

**xxx-xxx-0208:** neither do i

**xxx-xxx-0811:** me either

**xxx-xxx-0914:** i don't know anyone either but that was the point!

 **xxx-xxx-0914:** bonus points that you guys don't know each other either!

**xxx-xxx-1025:** why was adding a bunch of strangers to a groupchat a goal of yours?

**xxx-xxx-0914:** to make friends

**xxx-xxx-1025:** okay fair enough

**xxx-xxx-0915:** THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** IM SO MAD THAT I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** god youre a genius

**xxx-xxx-1003:** isnt this… dangerous? texting a bunch of people you don't know? what if i was some 60 year old perv murderer 

**xxx-xxx-0914:** well. are you?

**xxx-xxx-1003:** no… 

**xxx-xxx-0914:** cool! so theres nothing dangerous about it!

**xxx-xxx-1003:** i

 **xxx-xxx-1003:** okay

**xxx-xxx-1025:** youre such a dad lol

**xxx-xxx-1003:** safety is important!

**[xxx-xxx-0914 changed xxx-xxx-1003s name to 'dad']**

**xxx-xxx-0208:** fitting

**dad:** im the only one with a name now

 **dad:** flattered, really

**xxx-xxx-1025:** the rest of us should be more like dad, all these numbers are annoying

**xxx-xxx-0811:** are we SURE this is a good idea

 **xxx-xxx-0811:** like literally none of us know each other

 **xxx-xxx-0811:** it is kinda dangerous

**xxx-xxx-0320:** only dangerous if u make it dangerous! 

**xxx-xxx-0811:** are you calling me dangerous

**xxx-xxx-0320:** NO ajdjska

 **xxx-xxx-0320:** i mean. you could be idk but like i mean that for everyone

 **xxx-xxx-0320:** the chat is only dangerous IF anyone here plans on MAKING IT dangerous! so if were all harmless then so is the chat!

**xxx-xxx-0914:** woah big brain 

**xxx-xxx-1025:** hot

**xxx-xxx-0915:** AOXJZJAL

**xxx-xxx-0320: 😳**

**xxx-xxx-1025:** (-;

**xxx-xxx-0922:** suddenly i have plans to make the chat dangerous 

**xxx-xxx-0208:** WHY

**xxx-xxx-0922:** smileys with noses really set off my fight or fight

**dad:** don't you mean… fight or flight

**xxx-xxx-0922:** no

**dad:**

**xxx-xxx-0915:** oh man u got memes

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** u single?

**dad:** what

**xxx-xxx-0915:** you heard me

**xxx-xxx-0922:** this is a text conversation, he can't hear you

**xxx-xxx-0915:** right

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** you read me*

**xxx-xxx-0811:** the longer im here the less concerned i am about my safety 

**xxx-xxx-1025:** please be concerned about ur safety you'll set off the dad 

**xxx-xxx-1025:** anyways can we PLEASE set names 

**xxx-xxx-0914:** right! 

**xxx-xxx-0914:** … what are your names 

**xxx-xxx-0208:** we should probably introduce ourselves 

**xxx-xxx-0811:** okay i might not be AS concerned about my safety as i was but that doesnt mean i wanna hand out my personal information

**xxx-xxx-0320:** use a nickname then

**xxx-xxx-0914:** nicknames! we should all do that! if we feel more comfy later we can share real names then

**xxx-xxx-1025:** that works

**xxx-xxx-0208:** im down

**dad:** me too

**xxx-xxx-0914:** sick! ill give u all admin so u can jus change ur own !

**[xxx-xxx-0914 changed their name to 'sunshine']**

**xxx-xxx-1025:** cute

**[xxx-xxx-1025 set their name to pussyluvr]**

**xxx-xxx-0811:** what

**pussyluvr:** what

**dad:** its rough, you know? being a father

**xxx-xxx-0915:** omg ew a het

**pussyluvr:** how do u know im not a lesbian

**xxx-xxx-0915:** you got me there

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** are u

**pussyluvr:** no

**xxx-xxx-0915:** ah

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** omg ew a het

**pussyluvr:** pls never use that word to describe me again 

**pussyluvr:** i just like cats okay

**xxx-xxx-0208:** moving on… 

**[xxx-xxx-0208 set their name to 'baby']**

**baby:** perfect 

**xxx-xxx-0320:** talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

**baby:** i can't tell if thats supposed to be sarcastic or not

**xxx-xxx-0320:** it is not

**baby:** okay (: 

**sunshine:** the absolute whiplash from 'pussyluvr' to 'baby' i cant

**xxx-xxx-0811:** two types of people

**[xxx-xxx-0811 set their name to 'spearb']**

**pussyluvr:** sounds emo

**spearb:** good

**pussyluvr:** … ok edgelord 

**spearb:** ok het

**pussyluvr:** u better hope u don't catch me on the streets 

**dad:** okay kids can we lighten up a little

**[xxx-xxx-0922 set their name to 'stan day6']**

**sunshine:** priorities. respect

**stan day6:** thank you

**[xxx-xxx-0320 set their name to 'stan got7']**

**pussyluvr:** conflict. respect

**stan got7:** thank you

**stan day6:** youre on thin ice, ahgase

**xxx-xxx-0915:** can't wait for that to get confusing lmao

 **xxx-xxx-0915:** guess its my turn

**sunshine:** pls dont be another stan name

**xxx-xxx-0915:** since u asked so nicely (:

**[xxx-xxx-0915 set their name to 'stan twice']**

**pussyluvr:** ok 

**stan twice:** ok?

 **stan twice:** maybe ok can be our always

**pussyluvr:** i hate it here

**spearb:** u can always leave

**pussyluvr:** i will piss your pants

**dad:** please leave your kinks out of the chat there's a baby here

**baby:** hi im baby

**sunshine:** hi baby! 😊

**baby:** hi sunshine! 😊

**stan twice:** guys don't look its too bright

**pussyluvr:** my ice cold heart thaws 

**stan got7:** my skin? clear

 **stan got7:** my crops? flourishing 

**stan got7:** my grades? record breakingly high

**stan twice:** hotel? trivago

**stan day6:** how do you delete somebody else's message? 

**stan twice:** u can't put an end to these memes bb 

**stan day6:** guess ill just have to put an end to you then /:

 **stan day6:** becoming a murderer this young wasn't part of the plan but you do what you have to do

**dad:** kids please

 **dad:** im not old enough to go grey

**spearb:** u sure? 60 is a pretty good age to go grey

**dad:** IM NOT 60 IM 22 

**stan twice:** ok boomer

**pussyluvr:** HAG

**dad:** i came out to have a good time but im honestly just feeling so attacked right now

 **dad:** can y'all at least share ur ages too so im not the only one sharing information 

**sunshine:** im 19

**stan twice:** ME TOO

**stan day6:** same

**stan got7:** … same

**sunshine:** incredible, amazing i love it here 

**spearb:** im 20

**stan twice:** hag

**spearb:** ill kill u

**stan twice:** not even worried about it

**dad:** please be worried about it

**baby:** its a meme, dad

**dad:** oh

 **dad:** ok carry on

**pussyluvr:** im 21

**dad:** youre barely younger than me and youre calling me a hag

**pussyluvr:** im only calling it like i see it, hag

**dad:** hey

 **dad:** thats hag HYUNG to u

**pussyluvr:** no thanks

**stan twice:** BURN

**stan day6:** anyways

 **stan day6:** baby, how old are you

**baby:** im 18 😊

**sunshine:** omg he really is a whole baby

**baby:** you're not that much older

**stan got7:** still older! 

**spearb:** does that mean the baby is still in high school

**baby:** it does (': 

**sunshine:** precious 

**baby:** but! im in my last year 

**baby:** and ill be 19 soon 

**stan twice:** o: how soon omg

**baby:** february 

**dad:** that is close wow

 **dad:** happy early birthday, baby

**baby:** thanks dad (:

**dad:** when are the rest of your birthdays i have to put them on my calendar

**spearb:** you don't even know us

**dad:** you are all my children 

**dad:** i have to be a good father 

**pussyluvr:** twenty minutes ago he thought this was dangerous and now he's adopted us all

**sunshine:** character development

**pussyluvr:** anyways my birthdays october 25th

**spearb:** august 11

**stan twice:** september 15th!

**sunshine:** WAIT REALLY

 **sunshine:** MINES THE 14TH

**stan twice:** TWINS

**sunshine:** SOULMATES

**stan day6:** 22nd september

**stan twice:** … close enough

 **stan twice:** TRIPLETS

**pussyluvr:** dad come pick me up i wanna go home

**dad:** omw

**stan got7:** mines march 20th

**sunshine:** damn i was hoping for quadruplets

**stan twice:** its okay we can just pretend they said september 

**spearb:** im not sure thats how it works… 

**stan twice:** its (: okay (: we (: can (: just (: pretend (: they (: said (: september (: 

**spearb:** i

 **spearb:** okay

**stan day6:** this chat is a mess

**sunshine:** yup!

**stan day6:** is this everything u hoped for

**sunshine:** yup!

 **sunshine:** i have seven new friends 

**pussyluvr:** that… was really pure 

**dad:** i wasnt too sure about this chat at first

**stan got7:** obviously

**dad:** sh

 **dad:** anyways. im kinda glad it happened

 **dad:** life seems like it'll be a lot less boring now

**stan twice:** same this is gonna be sick

**sunshine:** (: 

**sunshine:** thats what i was hoping for!

**spearb:** is this the first group u made 

**sunshine:** yup! i got lucky (:

**pussyluvr:** bffls

**sunshine:** nvm

**pussyluvr:** (-:

**stan day6:** sleep with one eye open, pussyluvr

**pussyluvr:** pussyluvr HYUNG*

**stan day6:** no

**baby:** the parallels… 

**spearb:** stan day6 🤝 pussyluvr

disrespecting their elders

**pussyluvr:** srry i dont make the rules, just here to break them

**sunshine:** wow a rebel 

**sunshine:** hot

**pussyluvr:** only for u, baby

**sunshine:** 😳

**baby:** anyways

 **baby:** i didnt specify earlier but my birthday is february 8th (:

**stan twice:** DAD WHENS YOURS

**dad:** my birthday? october 3rd

**sunshine:** four septembers and two octobers

 **sunshine:** fate

**spearb:** theres? only three septembers tho

**stan twice:** (:

**spearb:** nvm

**sunshine:** 00 line best friends, dadpussy best friends

**stan day6:** excuse me what

**stan got7:** 'dadpussy'

**pussyluvr:** sadpussy bffls

**stan twice:** SADPUSSY SKSKSKAJAAK

**pussyluvr:** shut up

**spearb:** i didn't think it could get worse but then it did

**[sunshine changed the group name to 'sadpussy']**

**baby:** god i hope nobody ever looks at my phone screen ever again

**pussyluvr:** are u saying ur ashamed of me, baby

**baby:** not ashamed

 **baby:** definitely embarrassed tho

**pussyluvr:** understandable, have a nice day

**dad:** its? night time 

**stan twice:** another meme, dad

**dad:** ah

 **dad:** i don't know memes

**stan got7:** no u just only know the stale ones

**dad:** is that a bad thing

**stan twice:** its better than not knowing any

**dad:** (: 

**dad:** speaking of night tho shouldnt you all be getting some sleep

 **dad:** especially baby, you have school tomorrow

**sunshine:** omg he really is a dad

**baby:** its not even that late pls

**dad:** its? 10pm??? 

**baby:** its 8, actually, but

 **baby:** and even if it was 10 that's still not late ):

**stan twice:** damn baby ur in the past /:

 **stan twice:** its also ten here

**pussyluvr:** ur from the future 

**pussyluvr:** its 8

**stan got7:** 8

**stan day6:** 8

**spearb:** 8

**sunshine:** damn.. all y'all really be from the future

 **sunshine:** its 7 ('': 

**sunshine:** wait that means some of u probably live close to each other that's so cool

**spearb:** as much as i agree that's cool… 

**spearb:** this is getting close to 'personal info we definitely shouldn't be shading'

**stan day6:** yeah, id rather tell you my name than my exact location 

**pussyluvr:** ill tell u both

 **pussyluvr:** im not afraid

**dad:** please be afraid

**stan twice:** out of context that sounds so freaky

**pussyluvr:** or really sad

 **pussyluvr:** like hes not scary enough for ppl to be intimidated when he wants them to be so he just has to ask them to at least pretend to be afraid so that he can feel a little bit better about himself and the fact that he's as intimidating as those cute mini rainbow marshmallows 

**spearb:** …. 

**stan day6:** i don't even know how to respond to that

**dad:** wow. kick a man while he's down why dont you

**sunshine:** that was beautiful

**pussyluvr:** i know. im just so gorgeous

**baby:** on that note, im going to bed early tonight!

 **baby:** goodnight, hags!

**stan twice:** goodnight baby! 

**sunshine:** gnight baby! 

**dad:** goodnight !

 **dad:** the rest of your should follow babys lead soon

 **dad:** especially you, once

**stan twice:** 😳

**pussyluvr:** ur telling us to go to sleep but it doesnt seem like ur planning on sleeping anytime soon

 **pussyluvr:** hmmmmm

**stan day6:** yeah dad. why dont you lead by example and get some rest yourself

**dad:** i can't believe my children are parenting me

 **dad:** i thought this didn't happen until the nursing home

**stan twice:** oh how the tables have tabeled 

**sunshine:** oh how the turns have tables 

**pussyluvr:** tabels 

**spearb:** oh

**stan got7:** really feeling those 'the longer im here the less concerned i am about my safety' vibes rn

**dad:** please always be concerned about your safety

**stan twice:** well be concerned about our health when u get some sleep

**dad:** fine. ill go to bed /:

**sunshine:** gnight dad!

**dad:** goodnight 😊

 **dad:** sleep well, children

**stan twice:** i love my dad 

**stan twice:** im gonna go knock out too though i think /:

 **stan twice:** ive got morning practice and ive only had to make the mistake of going without sleep once and that was way more than enough

 **stan twice:** goodnight!

**pussyluvr:** dream of me (-;

**sunshine:** gnight!

**spearb:** and then there were 5

**stan day6:** 4*

 **stan day6:** im not going to sleep i just have homework so

 **stan day6:** bye

**sunshine:** goodnight! see u tomorrow

**spearb:** and then there were 4

**pussyluvr:** im surprised ur still here since u were so against it

**spearb:** like i said

 **spearb:** i am a lot less concerned about my safety now

 **spearb:** and i GUESS having some friends wouldn't be the worst thing ever

**stan got7:** youve gone soft

**sunshine:** plot twist: he was actually soft the whole time

**pussyluvr:** boom. exposed 

**spearb:** i will shatter your kneecaps

**pussyluvr:** promise?

**spearb:** what is wrong with you 

**pussyluvr:** lots, probably 

**stay got7:** well. that took a turn

**pussyluvr:** gotta keep em on their toes 

**sunshine:** i think that phrase is talking about… good turns… not sad ones

**pussyluvr:** exactly 

**spearb:** i don't get you

**pussyluvr:** good

**spearb:** and you called me emo

 **spearb:** okay

**stan got7:** this chat is just pussyluvr being a hypocrite huh 

**pussyluvr:** u wanna GO

 **pussyluvr:** meet me in the pits, loser

**stan got7:** god please no im too pretty to get beat up

**pussyluvr:** pretty huh

 **pussyluvr:** ill spare u

 **pussyluvr:** this time

**stan got7:** just bc i said im pretty

**pussyluvr:** yup

 **pussyluvr:** us pretty people have to stick together

**sunshine:** … not where i thought that was going

**spearb:** on that note.. im leaving

 **spearb:** i can't take any more of this insanity today

**pussyluvr:** another one bites the dust

**sunshine:** only the strong can survive

**pussyluvr:** place ur bets now, do u think he'll survive the winter? 

**sunshine:** not a chance 

**spearb:** this group was a mistake 

**sunshine:** well see u on the other side, soldier 

**sunshine:** you've served well

 **sunshine:** you were a good man, you'll be missed

**pussyluvr:** just not by me

 **pussyluvr:** i wont mourn u

**stan got7:** two kinds of people

**spearb:** i hate it here

 **spearb:** goodnight 

**sunshine:** goodnight !

**stan got7:** night (:

**pussyluvr:** goodbye

**stay got7:** and then there were 3

**pussyluvr:** we are the strong 

**pussyluvr:** we survived

**stay got7:** what kinda strength competition are we apparently winning

**pussyluvr:**???? willpower 

**sunshine:** ten percent luck

 **sunshine:** twenty percent skill

 **sunshine:** fifteen percent concentrated power of will

 **sunshine:** five percent pleasure

 **sunshine:** fifty percent pain

 **sunshine:** and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

**pussyluvr:** im in love

**stan got7:** what

**pussyluvr:** anyways

 **pussyluvr:** i have to feed my cats

 **pussyluvr:** bye

**sunshine:** bye!! 

**stan got7:** what a flimsy excuse

**sunshine:** excuse?

**stan got7:** poor guy has to make up some fake cats to take our focus off him confessing his love for you smh

 **stan got7:** people should always be proud of their gay panic

**sunshine:** idk i think its kinda cute

**stan got7:** hopless

**pussyluvr:** ARE YOU DOUBTING THE EXISTENCE OF MY BABIES

**stan got7:** if they really exist what are their names the

**pussyluvr:** soonie, doongie, and dori

**stan got7:** who's the oldest

**pussyluvr:** soonie

**stan got7:** youngest

**pussyluvr:** dori

**stan got7:** picture

**pussyluvr:**

**pussyluvr:** n e v e r d o u b t m e a g a i n p e a s a n t

**stan got7:** you win for now

**sunshine:** they're cute!! 

**pussyluvr** : i know right 

**stan got7:** you know who's cuter though

**pussyluvr:** me? i agree

**stan got7:** no

 **stan got7:** my dog kkami

**pussyluvr:** god you would be a dog person

**stan got7:** obviously? dogs are superior

**pussyluvr:** GASP

 **pussyluvr:** TAKE THAT BACK 

**stan day6:** you guys are spamming and its annoying 

**stan day6:** please let me do my homework in peace

**pussyluvr:** you

 **pussyluvr:** which is better

 **pussyluvr:** cats or dogs

**stan day6:** dont drag me into this i just wanna do my homework 

**stan day6:** but dogs, obviously

**pussyluvr:** so this is what betrayal feels like

**stan got7:** wouldnt they have had to be on your side for them to betray you?

**pussyluvr:** y'all cant just let me breath huh

**stan day6:** with a name like pussyluvr?

 **stan day6:** you set yourself up to get bullied with that one

**sunshine:** its okay

 **sunshine:** im on your side, pussyluvr

 **sunshine:** cats > dogs always

**pussyluvr:** youre the only one i can trust here

**stan got7:** what am i

 **stan got7:** chopped liver

**pussyluvr:** i can't trust dog people

 **pussyluvr:** it goes against my religion

**stan got7:** what happened to pretty people sticking together

 **stan got7:** it really be ya own huh /:

**stan day6:** everyone in this chat is too extra

**sunshine:** you say that like its a bad thing lmao

**pussyluvr:** like you're any better, myday

**stan day6:** im perfectly normal thanks 

**stan got7:** sounds like something someone abnormal would say… 

**stan day6:** ill kill you

 **stan day6:** not even worried about it

**sunshine:** kill with LOVE

**stan day6:** was thinking more with my fists but okay

**pussyluvr:** kids these days are so violent

**stan got7:** earlier u said ud piss spearbs pants

**pussyluvr:** is that violent?

 **pussyluvr:** no

**stan day6:** just mildly disturbing 

**sunshine:** 'mildly'

**pussyluvr:** y'all haters

 **pussyluvr:** im goingto to go cuddle with soonie doongie and dori 

**pussyluvr:** escape this negativity /:

**sunshine:** bye pussyluvr hyung (:

**stan day6:** im gonna finish my homework

**sunshine:** bye!!

 **sunshine:** and then there were 2

**stan got7:** beat pussyluvr at his own game

 **stan got7:** wait, their*

 **stan got7:** we never discussed pronouns, don't wanna assume

**sunshine:**! that's so nice

 **sunshine:** youre such a top tier homie 

**stan got7:** thanks i try my best

 **stan got7:** and i hate to leave u all alone ): but i have practice in the morning too and i need my beauty sleep

**sunshine:** understandable!

 **sunshine:** sleep well, i hope u wake up looking extra pretty

 **sunshine:** good luck at practice!

**stan got7:** god you really are sunshine 

**stan got7:** goodnight!! 

**sunshine:** and then there was one 

**sunshine:** this was really fun

 **sunshine:** i hope we all talk more and stay friends!

 **sunshine:** goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand the end notes! hi!  
> sorry if this wasnt the best, itll get better i promise! my brain is all over while ive been writing this but its proven to be a very good distraction from everything going on. i hope it can be a good one for u guys too!
> 
> aand feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i do my best to follow everyone back and! i give out free minho hugs to all my new followers, so if that isnt reason enough to follow me idk what is. lets be moots!)  
> and! heres my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/miinhohugs) if u want to leave me anything!


	2. bts? i only know btr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminders!
> 
> chan - xxx-xxx-1003/dad  
> minho - xxx-xxx-1025/pussyluvr  
> changbin - xxx-xxx-0811/spearb  
> hyunjin - xxx-xxx-0320/stan got7/kendall  
> jisung - xxx-xxx-0914/sunshine/james  
> felix - xxx-xxx-0915/stan twice/carlos  
> seungmin - xxx-xxx-0922/stan day6/logan  
> jeongin - xxx-xxx-0208/baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!

(december 14th)

**sadpussy (8)**

**stan twice:** GOOD MORNING GAMERS

**stan twice:** my morning practice went GREAT just in case u were wondering (:

**baby:** what kinda practice did u have?

**stan twice:** dance team! were getting ready for our schools winter showcase 😊

**pussyluvr:** you dance? 

**pussyluvr:** me too

**stan twice:** yup! first year dance major

**pussyluvr:** third year dance major

**stan got7:** quietly raises hand

**stan got7:** i am also a first year dance major

**sunshine:** did u have dance practice this morning too? u said u had practice today but not what for 

**stan got7:** ah no. i usually do my dance stuff in the afternoon 

**stan got7:** i had swim team practice !

**dad:** an athlete! 

**dad:** and a swimmer! me too!

  
  


**spearb:** if anyone has anything else in common i might go a little insane

**sunshine:** whats ur major then

**spearb:** music production

**sunshine:** i am so sorry

**sunshine:** i hope u enjoyed ur sanity while it lasted

**stan twice:** music production?? that's so cool?

**stan twice:** does that mean thats your major too, sunshine?

**sunshine:** yup! im going for a minor in creative writing too (:

**dad:** 1. i am so proud of my children

**dad:** 2. i am also a music production major pls accept me into the club

**stan got7:** **_@stan day6_ ** whats ur major

**stay day6:** why

**stan got7:** im curious

**stan day6:** too bad

**dad:** what's your major, myday?

**stan day6:** photography

**pussyluvr:** rip ahgase

**stan got7:** they ask you how you are and you say that you're fine and you're not really fine but you just can't get into it because they would never understand

**sunshine:** **_@baby_ ** baby! what do u wanna major in 

**baby:** education? maybe?

**spearb:** a baby teaching babies

**baby:** ill be able to relate to them 

**dad:** that's a good course!

**sunshine:** wait

**sunshine:** this reminded me i wanted to do smth

**pussyluvr:** ??

**dad:** please don't do anything dangerous

**stan day6:** what could this conversation have reminded him of that he'd do something dangerous

**dad:** lots of things! i don't know how kids minds work

**spearb:** ok boomer

**[sunshine added stan twice, stan day6, and stan got7 to a group]**

**[sunshine set the group name to '00 line best line']**

**stan twice:** i support this

**stan day6:** why

**sunshine:** friendship! 

**stan day6:** isnt that what the other chat for

**sunshine:** extra friendship then

**stan twice:** best friendship! 

**stan got7:** well im in

**stan got7:** theres only one problem though

**sunshine:** ??

**stan got7:** youre the only one without a stan username

**stan twice:** omg… 

**stan twice:** we all need to match

**stan twice:** sunshine quick what's ur ult group

**stan day6:** actually

**stan day6:** if you insist on matching names, can we be the ones to change? its getting annoying 

**stan got7:** im cool with that

**sunshine:** what are we changing to then

**stan twice:** btr

**stan day6:** do u mean bts

**stan twice:** no? btr 

**sunshine:** big time rush? 

**sunshine:** can i be james

**stan twice:** absolutely

**stan twice:** im calling dibs on carlos

**stan got7:** what 

**sunshine:** do u not know big time rush

**stan got7:** no i do

**stan got7:** but what if i wanted to be james

**stan twice:** idk man u strike me more of a kendall 

**sunshine:** mydays def a logan

**stan twice:** YES

**stay twice:** this is it

**stan day6:** do we have a choice

**sunshine:** nope!

**[sunshine set their name to james]**

**[sunshine set stan twices name to carlos]**

**[sunshine set stan day6s name to logan]**

**[sunshine set stan got7s name to kendall]**

**carlos:** perfect

**carlos:** boys, we are in our final forms now

**carlos:** wait

**carlos:** youre all boys right

**james:** yup

**kendall:** yeah

**logan:** yes

**carlos:** amazing

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** all the 00s went quiet… 

**pussyluvr:** how sus

**dad:** do you think theyre doing something dangerous

**spearb:** no theyre probably just being dumb

**spearb:** except the myday. he seems pretty no nonsense to me

**baby:** thats how they fool u

**baby:** mydays gonna pull something huge one day and none of u would ever suspect him

**dad:** you can be dangerous and dumb

**carlos:** ill have u know we are Neither

**pussyluvr:** what the fuck

**pussyluvr:** who the hell is carlos

**kendall:** once

**dad:** kendall????

**james:** ahgase

**spearb:** did u all change ur names to big time rush

**pussyluvr:** how do i leave this chat

**james:** u cant ):

**pussyluvr:** so ur sunshine then

**pussyluvr:** noted

**baby:** does that mean the myday is logan

**baby:** lmao

**pussyluvr:** no nonsense indeed

**logan:** i was held at gunpoint to change my name

**carlos:** no u werent

**carlos:** y the fuck u lyin

**kendall:** y u always lyin

**james:** MMMM OH MY GOD

**carlos:** STOP

**kendall:** FUCKING

**james:** LYING

**spearb:** i hate it here

**pussyluvr:** so does everyone else

**pussyluvr:** ur not special 

**spearb:** can you guys just let me breathe

**logan:** no

**baby:** its okay spear hyung

**baby:** i wont bully u

**baby:** maybe

**spearb:** wow that is so reassuring

**spearb:** thanks

**baby:** youre welcome! (:

**james:** hes so cute u cant even get mad

**spearb:** i know

**spearb:** it physically pains me

**pussyluvr:** sounds like u problem

**dad:** whats big time rush

**carlos:** i can NOT believe u dont know btr

**dad:** dont you mean bts?

**carlos:** god not again

**carlos:** btr = big time rush

**dad:** so

**dad:** wait

**dad:** were they that tv show about the boyband

**james:** YES

**james:** bts? i only know btr

**kendall:** stan btr for clear skin

**spearb:** why didnt you just name yourselves after one direction

**spearb:** much less confusing

**carlos:** theres only four of us?

**spearb:** yeah… and? there’s four of them

**carlos:** ouch… 

**james:** why would you remind me of that

**james:** my 14 year old self really went through it when he left

**kendall:** haha u were 14

**kendall:** but same

**james:** ur birthday was what

**james:** FIVE DAYS before it happened?

**james:** dont ‘haha u were 14’ me 

**pussyluvr:** times like this make me really question if some of yall really already knew each other or not

**dad:** same

**carlos:** the same birth year AND month really bonds us

**carlos:** like soulmates

**logan:** not like soulmates

**spearb:** kendall was literally born in march

**carlos:** do u enjoy crushing dreams of children

**pussyluvr:** dad and i were born in the same month

**pussyluvr:** does that mean were soulmates too

**james:** thats exactly what it means

**dad:** oh fun!

**pussyluvr:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dad:** nvm

**dad:** since im rejecting my soulmate and am not an 00 line….

**dad:** im making MY OWN chat 

**dad:** only for the COOL KIDS

**pussyluvr:** am i a cool kid

**dad:** no

**pussyluvr:** understandable, have a nice day

**logan:** watch it be james and spearb

**[dad added james and spearb to a group]**

**[dad set the group name to ‘cool kids’]**

**james:** owo whats this

**dad:** were all music production majors

**dad:** thought it’d be cool to talk about that

**dad:** i dont have many people to talk to about it irl

**dad:** and you guys are cool

**dad:** and! since im older maybe i can help you guys sometimes!

**dad:** or we can help each other

**dad:** im such there’s stuff you guys are better at than i am

**spearb:** you just get more and more like a dad as time goes on

**dad:** is that a bad thing

**james:** no!! its nice

**james:** its obvious you care about us and stuff even though you dont really actually know us

**spearb:** you radiate good person vibes

**dad:** of course i care, were friends

**james:** i was really surprised how fast everyone just

**james:** accepted it and stayed in the chat

**james:** i thought for sure at least one of you were going to leave

**james:** bc like,,, i know its kinda weird. just getting added to a group with a bunch of people you dont know

**james:** but im really glad you all stayed!

**spearb:** its not too bad

**spearb:** none of you seem terrible

**spearb:** exhausting, but not terrible

**dad:** its only been a day but it feels like ive known you guys a lot longer

**dad:** its nice

**james:** same! 

**james:** itll be even more nice once we all get to know each other more

**spearb:** relatable

**spearb:** sorry to crush the soft mood but i have to head to class /:

**james:** learn lots for me

**james:** the lecture im in rn is BORING

**spearb:** k

**dad:** youre in class right now??

**dad:** why are you on your phone omg

**james:** its okay dad, the prof is just telling stories abt his dog

**james:** im not missing anything

**dad:** if you say so… 

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** well then

**pussyluvr:** i can make MY own group then

**pussyluvr:** see who’s winning then

**logan:** still dad bc he’s not in a group with you

**pussyluvr:** if i had feelings theyd probably be hurt right now

**pussyluvr:** on that note i am making a group and logan WILL NOT be in it!

**logan:** i didnt wanna be in it anyways

**[pussyluvr added carlos and kendall to a group]**

**[pussyluvr set the group name to ‘dance kings’]**

**pussyluvr:** welcome to the superior groupchat 

**kendall:** pussyluvr is the oldest here

**kendall:** does that mean he’s the leader of the group?

**carlos:** oof

**carlos:** scary

**pussyluvr:** i see how it is

**pussyluvr:** yall better hope u dont catch me on the streets

**carlos:** what are you gonna do? stand there and look pretty and hope we just back down?

**pussyluvr:** aw, you think im pretty?

**kendall:** we dont even know what you look like

**kendall:** youre the one who said you were pretty

**pussyluvr:** youre the ones that believed me!

**carlos:** we just took your word bc we didnt want to hurt your feelings

**pussyluvr:** ouch

**pussyluvr:** i cant believe you think im ugly

**kendall:** i just said we dont even know what you look like

**kendall:** how can we have an opinion about your looks when weve never seen u before

**pussyluvr:** ok fair enough

**pussyluvr:** when u DO see what i look like youll have to agree that i really am just the prettiest

**carlos:** youre so humble

**pussyluvr:** nothing wrong with being confident

**kendall:** cant deny that

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**james:** what kinda professor spends an hour lecture just talking about his dog

**james:** he showed us VIDEOS

**james:** i mean, it was a cute dog and i was def happy i didnt have to sit through a boring music theory class today but

**logan:** what was his dogs name

**james:** jack

**logan:** who the hell names their dog jack?

**james:** right????

**james:** if i ever had a dog i could never name it a human name

**james:** like

**james:** imagine calling your dog ‘dylan”

**kendall:** my dogs names kkami

**logan:** i know

**kendall:** ?? are u are stalker or 

**pussyluvr:** u literally TOLD us your dogs name

**kendall:** oh

**kendall:** right

**dad:** my dogs name is berry

**baby:** i want a dog

**pussyluvr:** i have cats

**logan:** we know

**logan:** you dont have to keep reminding us how tasteless you are

**james:** i think cats are cool

**pussyluvr:** james, the only one who loves me here

**pussyluvr:** the only one i can trust

**pussyluvr:** the rest of u? snakes

**carlos:** i like cats

**pussyluvr:** carlos? not a snake

**pussyluvr:** ur on thin ice though

**baby:** what did carlos do

**pussyluvr:** he called me ugly ):

**carlos:** WE TOLD U

**carlos:** we dont know what u look like so we CANT MAKE AN OPINION if ur ugly or pretty

**carlos:** we can only take ur word when U say ur pretty

**dad:** settle down children

**dad:** nobodys ugly, im sure ur all very pretty

**pussyluvr:** thank u

**pussyluvr:** im glad somebody believes me

**kendall:** how is us taking ur word when u say ur pretty not believing u 

**pussyluvr:** yeah alright i guess it is believing me

**pussyluvr:** sorry

**carlos:** its all good, man

**carlos:** nothing to be sorry about

**pussyluvr:** okay

  
  


**[private dm: james and pussyluvr]**

**james:** het are u okay

**pussyluvr:** hey

**pussyluvr:** i am NOT a het omg

**james:** omg pls i meant hey 

**james:** shut up 

**james:** but like rlly, are u okay? ur tone kinda changed up in the gc

**james:** sorry if this is weird ik we like just met and havent ever interacted out of the gc before

**pussyluvr:** i dont think its weird

**pussyluvr:** its like. cool that you cared enough about how im feeling to seek me out like this

**pussyluvr:** but im okay

**pussyluvr:** i guess i just hyped myself up too much. ill just have to tone it down from now on

**james:** what do you mean?

**pussyluvr:** ah …. this is gonna sound pathetic 

**james:** hey, there’s nothing pathetic about having emotions

**pussyluvr:** right… 

**pussyluvr:** well. im not exactly the most confident person ever? so idk i just act like myself and talk a real big game about myself 

**pussyluvr:** fake it till you make it, you know? except im not really getting to the making it part, but i still keep doing it anyways so people dont see how …. not confident i am?

**pussyluvr:** i guess i talked too big about myself in the gc and it was .. idk, having opposite effect than what i wanted

**pussyluvr:** bc i KNOW they werent calling me ugly bc they CANT because they have no idea what i look like

**pussyluvr:** but them i kept being whiny about it and it sounded like they were getting annoyed so idk

**pussyluvr:** so i guess ill just have to tone that shit down from now on

**pussyluvr:** sorry for just dumping all that on you

**james:** hey thats okay, i asked to be dumped on

**pussyluvr:** listen

**pussyluvr:** im supportive of people and their kinks but

**pussyluvr:** i gotta draw the line somewhere, and its here

**james:** SHUT UP

**james:** you KNOW i didnt mean it like that

**james:** but like seriously

**james:** youre not doing anything wrong

**james:** everyone has their own ways to cope and this is yours and thats okay

**james:** it sucks youre not confident because im sure you have so much to be confident about

**james:** im sure youre very pretty, pussyluvr hyung

**pussyluvr:** that was very heartfelt and i appreciate it a lot but god

**pussyluvr:** the pussyluvr hyung at the end of it really makes it hard to stay serious

**james:** you chose that name, not me

**pussyluvr:** i dont regret it 

**james:** understandable, have a nice day

**pussyluvr:** minho

**james:** what?

**pussyluvr:** my name. minho

**james:** oh

**james:** OH

**james:** thank u for trusting me enough to tell me

**james:** im jisung

**pussyluvr:** jisung

**pussyluvr:** okay (:

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**baby:** is pussyluvr ok

**baby:** he got all quiet

**pussyluvr:** im good i just had to feed my cats

**carlos:** give them smooches for me

**pussyluvr:** will do

**pussyluvr:** if i dont survive

**pussyluvr:** i want james to watch over them after im gone

**carlos:** what if i wanted to watch them

**pussyluvr:** bc i like him more

**logan:** lol u need some ice for that burn

**dad:** ur not supposed to pick favorites

**pussyluvr:** oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter, and im not super sure how i feel about it but asdbfifn oh well whats done is done  
> have some minsung development uwuwuwuwu
> 
> aand feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i do my best to follow everyone back and! i give out free minho hugs to all my new followers, so if that isnt reason enough to follow me idk what is. lets be moots!)  
> and! heres my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/miinhohugs) if u want to leave me anything!


	3. welcome home cheater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminders!
> 
> chan - xxx-xxx-1003/dad  
> minho - xxx-xxx-1025/pussyluvr  
> changbin - xxx-xxx-0811/spearb  
> hyunjin - xxx-xxx-0320/stan got7/kendall  
> jisung - xxx-xxx-0914/sunshine/james  
> felix - xxx-xxx-0915/stan twice/carlos  
> seungmin - xxx-xxx-0922/stan day6/logan  
> jeongin - xxx-xxx-0208/baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!
> 
> also!!! texts that are in ITALICS are in ENGLISH

(december 15th)

**sadpussy (8)**

**baby:** so

 **baby:** im upset

**carlos:** whats wrong baby?

**baby:** victorious and sam and cat are both on netflix but icarly isnt

 **baby:** how am i supposed to only watch victorious and then watch sam and cat without watching icarly

 **baby:** thats like missing a whole part of the plot

 **baby:** like if you only read the second and third book in a trilogy /:

**james:** RIGHT??? i felt the same with the hsm movies 

**james:** they had the first two but not the third

 **james:** then they added the third but took off the first two

**pussyluvr:** and then they took off BOTH camp rocks

 **pussyluvr:** i havent trusted netflix since they took off hannah montana

**carlos:** netflix dont deserve these coins omg

**dad:** im just still bummed carly never made an appearance on sam and cat

**james:** same

 **james:** like freddie, gibby… freddies MOM… N O R A, neville… 

**james:** but no carly

 **james:** a real shame

**baby:** yeah

 **baby:** im glad tori didnt show up on sam and cat though

 **baby:** she always kinda got on my nerves

**pussyluvr:** sikowitz best victorious character no debate

 **james:** i liked andre

**carlos:** yo same

**dad:** i liked cat

 **dad:** she was cute

**carlos:** so u like cute things huh

 **carlos:** im cute

**spearb:** flirting with strangers on the internet its kinda dangerous isnt it

**pussyluvr:** sure, if ur a wuss

 **pussyluvr:** live on the edge u know

**carlos:** it COULD be dangerous ig 

**carlos:** at least if me and dad fall in love i can always go on the mtv show catfish

 **carlos:** we could make up this huge big plot too

 **carlos:** itll be great

**dad:** do i get a say in this

**carlos:** no

**logan:** its kind off putting calling him dad and saying youll fall in love in the same sentence

**james:** only kind of?

**logan:** i wanted to say a lot off putting but i didnt want to hurt his feelings

**spearb:** so you do have a heart

**logan:** yeah, and i know how to make yours stop too

**james:** omg

**pussyluvr:** was that a threat or a pickup line

**logan:** yes

**baby:** terrified and in awe of logan

**logan:** as u should be

**spearb:** sorry i have to go

 **spearb:** mom told me not to talk to strangers

**kendall:** youve? literally been talking to strangers this entire time

**spearb:** please just let me have this one thing

 **spearb:** thats all i want

**pussyluvr:** what are you? a wuss?

**spearb:** um yes? i literally dont know any of you

 **spearb:** its a freaky enough of an idea just being friends with 7 random people without adding in flirting

 **spearb:** i dont mind talking and being friends, but that doesnt mean im not gonna be nervous about the whole thing

**dad:** thats fair. im all for it, really, but it does seem kinda risky

 **dad:** none of you seem like bad people or anything but, thats not really something you can be sure of, i guess

**carlos:** i know i hype this idea up a lot bc i do really like it

 **carlos:** i trust yall, probably more than i should, and def more than yall trust me but

 **carlos:** idk if yall were terrible and wanted to gather info on me badly enough im sure you could do it without having to have me voluntarily give it to u so idk

 **carlos:** maybe mom didnt spook me out about the internet enough

**pussyluvr:** ive been giving private info to strangers on the internet for years so im not really bothered

 **pussyluvr:** yall being this cautious and open about being cautious says a lot to me

**kendall:** god its weird hearing you be serious

**pussyluvr:** yeah it feels weird to be serious

**james:** ahhh im sorry if i made anyone uncomfy by putting u all in this chat

**spearb:** you didnt

 **spearb:** i just dont wanna get murdered

**james:** u wont!! 

**james:** not by me at least, i cant even kill ants without feeling bad 

**baby:** me either 

**baby:** i don't feel like going to prison until im old 

**dad:** you shouldn't ??? feel like going to prison at all what

**baby:** listen

 **baby:** i don't WANT to go to prison

 **baby:** if i do end up going to prison

 **baby:** id like it to happen when im too old to care

**logan:** i get it

**spearb:** you make me question my safety

**logan:** good

 **logan:** no but seriously don't take me seriously 

**logan:** at this moment in time im much more concerned with my homework than i am with trying to hurt you

 **logan:** so unless youre planning to render me incapable of doing my homework, you have nothing to worry about

**dad:** its hard, being a father

**pussyluvr:** ur doing a great job

**dad:** thank u

 **dad:** anyways

 **dad:** spearb

**spearb:** yes?

**dad:** is there anything that would make u more comfortable

**spearb:** i mean id definitely feel a lot better if i knew who any of you were past just a dumb username 

**spearb:** but we said we'd share that kinda info after we got comfortable

 **spearb:** and the rest of you might be, but i don't know how i feel about giving out details about myself like that yet

**james:** would u feel better if those of us that are comfortable with it shared stuff? 

**spearb:** not really

 **spearb:** i mean. yes. but.

 **spearb:** id feel about not telling you guys stuff about me

**logan:** im not super comfortable talking about myself either

 **logan:** but i guess if everyone else does it then whatever

**carlos:** and! even if we do share things that doesnt mean you have to

 **carlos:** were not gonna force you into doing anything you're not comfortable with

**kendall:** yeah

 **kendall:** if you wanna share, cool

 **kendall:** if you don't, thats also cool

**dad:** are we sharing then?

**pussyluvr:** we can??? 

**pussyluvr:** i wouldn't mind

**baby:** i think it'd be nice

 **baby:** i know we said wait until were comfortable but tbh i think this would make us more comfortable

 **baby:** or, at least i know it would for me

**james:** okay sharing time then!!

 **james:** nobody feel pressured to share things u don't want to

 **james:** just say what ur comfortable with, even if that means saying nothing uwu

**carlos:** uwu

**dad:** who goes first

**james:** i will

 **james:** i made the chat so its only fair if i go first

 **james:** so uh. hi! my names jisung aka j.one on soundcloud check me out bros

**james:**

****

**pussyluvr:** chest pains

**carlos:** YOURE SO CUTE

**logan:** you look like a squirrel lol

**baby:** omg he does

**dad:** J.ONE ON SOUNDCLOUD

 **dad:** I KNOW YOU

**james:** o

 **james:** oh 😳

**dad:** hold on i have to go next 

**dad:** hi hello im ur favorite father chris! or my korean name chan, if u want! im CB97 on soundcloud also pls check me out 🤙

**dad:**

****

**james:** OH OH

 **james:** I KNOW YOU TOO OMG

**logan:** wow small world

**carlos:** wait u have an english name

 **carlos:** were from the same timezone

 **carlos:** are u australian too

**dad:** yes!

**carlos:** sick

 **carlos:** u got games on ur phone

**dad:** i downloaded animal crossing pocket camp a few weeks ago

**carlos:** god i love you

**dad:** i love u too!

**pussyluvr:** y'all flirt weird

**kendall:** that mean carlos is australian

**carlos:** yup! 

**kendall:** why are you guys speaking korean then

**carlos:** im? korean?

**dad:** same

 **dad:** and james opened the convo in korean so i answered in korean

 **dad:** sorry, jisung*

**baby:** that. is ridiculously convenient

**james:** _should i have started the chat speaking english then_

**carlos:** _YOU KNOW ENGLISH_

**dad:** _so proud of my children_

**pussyluvr:** spare korean pls

**carlos:** _ugh im so glad you two know english its so tiring speaking korean_

 **carlos:** _i only started learning a few years ago so im still kinda. not great at I_

**dad:** _really? youre pretty good at it_

**carlos:** _its easy to fake fluency over text_

**james:** _im not as good as you two are with english_

 **james:** _im studying in malaysia so i know enough but_

 **james:** _im a lot more comfortable in korean_

**carlos:** _i think you're good!!! maybe we can help each other then!!!!_

**james:** _okay!! sounds fun!!_

**baby:** oof

**james:** SORRY

**spearb:** oof x2

**pussyluvr:** oof x1000

**logan:** its okay

 **logan:** they weren't saying anything interesting

**dad:** you know english? 

**logan:** a little

**carlos:** sick

 **carlos:** anyways! its my turn to share!

 **carlos:** im felix! im not telling you my korean name because its embarrassing and i don't want to give you fuel to bully me! 

**carlos:**

**james:** omg

 **james:** what a visual

**pussyluvr:** everyone is so pretty

 **pussyluvr:** this is bad for my self esteem 

**logan:** i don't trust attractive people

 **logan:** i don't want to be here anymore

**pussyluvr:** im going next

 **pussyluvr:** i wanna get this over with and break the chain of visuals

**kendall:** your confidence rlly went from 100 to 0 wow

**pussyluvr:** go away

 **pussyluvr:** im sensitive

 **pussyluvr:** anyways what's up sluts, im minho

 **pussyluvr:** ****

****

**james:** pains chest im having

**james:**

****

**pussyluvr:** 😳

**carlos:** you are seriously trying to tell me that you DONT think you're extremely attractive 

**carlos:** i hate men

 **carlos:** all they do is lie

**kendall:** damn

 **kendall:** he really wasnt lying when he said he was pretty

**pussyluvr:** pls spare me

 **pussyluvr:** i cant handle people being nice to me like this

 **pussyluvr:** somebody else go

**kendall:** alright

 **kendall:** im hyunjin!

**kendall:**

****

**logan:** …. why

 **logan:** hate it here

 **logan:** why couldn't jisung have added at least one ugly person

**james:** god its weird seeing my name actually get used fkskska

**dad:** good weird?

**james:** yeah

**baby:** pretty! 

**baby:** you're pretty!

**kendall:** thank u, baby

 **kendall:** u should go next

**baby:** alright!

 **baby:** hi, ur fav maknae jeongin! 

**baby:**

**james:** SO CUTE

 **james:** a whole baby!!! 

**dad:** all my kids are such visuals

 **dad:** im so proud 

**logan:** i guess its my turn then huh /:

**carlos:** only if u want to!!!!

**logan:** like i said

 **logan:** if everyone else does then its fine

 **logan:** so, hey, im seungmin

**logan:**

****

**james:** that's a really simple yet aesthetic selfie

 **james:** real high quality

 **james:** jealous

**carlos:** as expected from a photography major

**pussyluvr:** its nice having seven more ppl in the pretty people club

 **pussyluvr:** we should have a pizza party

**logan:** u dont know what spearb looks like

 **logan:** how can you know hes in the pretty people club

**pussyluvr:** instinct

 **pussyluvr:** everyone else here is pretty

 **pussyluvr:** that means he is too

 **pussyluvr:** duh

**spearb:** flattered, really

 **spearb:** but i must disagree

**carlos:** invalid!

**james:** not allowed!

**carlos:** minho said he wasnt pretty either but look how that turned out

 **carlos:** therefore u are definitely pretty too

**spearb:** if you say so lmao

**logan:** so like. not to be pushy or whatever 

**logan:** do you feel good sharing stuff

**spearb:** i guess

 **spearb:** but im going to start carrying a note in my wallet that says 'it was the sadpussy gc' so if i get murdered they'll know who did it

**pussyluvr:** valid

**carlos:** completely understandable

**spearb:** so. im changbin. 

**spearb:**

**pussyluvr:** and there it is

 **pussyluvr:** i was right

 **pussyluvr:** bow down to me, mortals

**logan:** you can't act superior for knowing he was going to be pretty when the rest of us knew it too

 **logan:** youre not special

**baby:** i guess there's our answer

 **baby:** seungmin hyung was flirting with changbin hyung earlier 

**logan:** don't be weird

**carlos:** i ship it

**james:** same

 **james:** this is like a rlly nice enemies to lovers fic

**carlos:** omg 

**carlos:** slow burn wrong number enemies to lovers

**james:** YOUR MIND OMG

**dad:** changbin! you are very cute!

**spearb:** 😳

**kendall:** cute omg

**spearb:** ill hit u

**pussyluvr:** hes so worried abt us murdering him and yet hes the one dishing out the threats /:

 **pussyluvr:** hypocrite /:

**spearb:** i don't remember ever saying you SHOULDNT be worried abt me murdering u so

 **spearb:** really its on you for not just assuming i would

**pussyluvr:** … fair enough

**cool kids (3)**

**dad:** changbin!!! 

**dad:** i didn't wanna ask in the main chat bc u didnt seem too pepped about sharing info about yourself but

 **dad:** are you spearb on soundcloud???

 **dad:** i thought that name sounded familiar before but didn't put it together until jisung said he was j.one

**spearb:** uh

 **spearb:** yeah (':

**james:** DUDE REALLY???

 **james:** your shit SLAPS

**dad:** it does! you're really good! 

**dad:** so are you jisung

**james:** so are u chan hyung (((((((: 

**spearb:** i didn't say anything about it in the chat when you guys brought up your profiles but

 **spearb:** ive heard your guys stuff too and its real fucking good

**dad:** ahhh i really wished y'all lived closer it would be so NICE to collab 

**dad:** i mean we still could but it would be easier if we were like. physically together //:

 **dad:** wait sorry omg

 **dad:** i dont wanna creep you guys out 

**james:** you didn't!!! i think it would be SO COOL to collab!

 **james:** you make the sickest beats, ive been itching to write lyrics to something of yours for FOREVER now

 **james:** and changbin hyungs fucking TONE??? fuck me UP. ur fucking flow is insane, dude 

**spearb:** stop im blushing

 **spearb:** i like your lyrics

 **spearb:** youre really good with words

 **spearb:** i think it'd be cool to collab 

**james:** sick!

**dad:** would you guys be open to getting on call someday the?

 **dad:** to talk about stuff for the collab

 **dad:** it'd be a lot easier that way than over text

**james:** yeah id totally be down for that!!

**spearb:** i wouldn't mind

**dad:** yes!!! 

**dad:** we'll have to find a day that works for all of us but

 **dad:**!!! im excited 

**james:** me too!

 **james:** the closest ive been to collabing with anyone is with people in class for assignments (':

**spearb:** mood

**dad:** big mood

 **dad:** if the first one goes well then maybe we can do some more?

 **dad:** 🥺👉👈

**spearb:** for sure, man

**james:** well be those friends who are always doing shit with each other and it makes people feel sad and lonely

 **james:** so here for that

 **james:** take that stan twit, i don't need your dumb gcs

**dad:** u okay, bud?

**james:** yup!! 

**spearb:** if u say so

**james:** i do!!

  
  


**00 lines best line (4)**

**james:** anyways, minho?

 **james:** (insert some kind of screaming/crying meme)

 **james:** have u EVER seen a man that pretty

 **james:** wow

**carlos:** hes hot

 **carlos:** but have you seen chris

**kendall:** EXCUSE ME

 **kendall:** i CAN NOT BELIEVE that NOBODY is talking about CUTE cute CUTE cute JEONGIN I

**logan:** i think youve got that covered

 **logan:** you can talk about how cute he is enough for all of us

**james:** so seungmin

 **james:** changbin huh

**[logan left the group]**

**carlos:** SKSKSKSKAKSKS 

**kendall:** thats 

**kendall:** i hate him

**[james added logan to the group]**

**james:** BITCH

**logan:** i plead the fifth 

**[logan left the group]**

**[james added logan to the group]**

**[logan left the group]**

**[james added logan to the group]**

**logan:** u can't make me do ANYTHING

 **logan:** *scoots away on back*

**[logan left the group]**

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**james:** ** _@logan_** STOP LEAVIJG THE 00 LINE GROUP

**logan:** THEN STOP SLANDERING ME

**james:** WE DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

**logan:** "so seungmin"

 **logan:** "redacted, huh"

 **logan:** does that not ring a bell

**james:** nope not at all

**logan:** be glad you live in malaysia

**carlos:** omg jisung, seungmin just threatened u, i think hes flirting with u

**james:** omg felix i think ur right

 **james:** gonna have to stop u while ur ahead tho, seungminnie

 **james:** my heart, unfortunately, belongs to another man

 **james:** i hope we can still be friends 

**logan:** this was a mistake

 **logan:** this group was a mistake

 **logan:** i wish i could go back in time and stop this from being made

**kendall:** to do that you'd need to have met jisung 

**logan:** ah youre right

 **logan:** i should go back in time and just leave the chat as soon as its made

**james:** id u back

**logan:** let me get rid of u, pest

**james:** hmm

 **james:** no i don't think i will

**pussyluvr:** what did i just witness

**baby:** a lovers spat, clearly

**spearb:** seungmin and jisung are dating?

**logan:** gross no

 **logan:** jisungs heart belong to redacted, apparently

**pussyluvr:** unredact pls

**logan:** see now

 **logan:** i would but

 **logan:** ive already been harassed enough today

 **logan:** ask again tomorrow

**james:** ill spill if u spill

**logan:** sorry minho hyung, ask again never

**carlos:** jisungs power

**spearb:** i think the 00s together is just bad news for everyone

**kendall:** oh for sure

**carlos:** that's what makes it so fun!!

**pussyluvr:** i think you spelled scary wrong

**carlos:** i didn't say scary though

 **carlos:** what did i spell wrong

 **carlos:** im not good at korean

**baby:** r/woooosh 

**james:** seungmin

 **james:** come back to the 00 group

**logan:** no i don't want to be in a group with people who spread lies about me

**baby:** we can make a group of our own, seungmin hyung

 **baby:** im not in any of the others and won't be mean to you (:

**logan:** finally, some love and appreciation

**pussyluvr:** wouldn't it just be a priv chat since its just you two lmao

**logan:** shut up let me have this

**[private dm: baby and logan]**

**baby:** so, changbin hyung, huh

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**logan:** nevermind i don't want it

 **logan:** add me back to the 00s

**james:** i knew you'd come to your senses 

  
  


**00 line best line (3)**

**[james added logan to the group]**

**carlos:**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i wanted to get this chapter out yesterday, but life never works out for me the way i want it to (': but! at least it didnt have to wait any longer than today. 
> 
> also thank u to everyone saying how much sense the comparison of skz 00 line and btr actually makes. btr was the first four person group i could think of and i just rolled with it and now i cant stop thinking abt seungmin as logan 
> 
> anyways, feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs)  
> and leave smth in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/miinhohugs) if you'd like!


	4. goosegoose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminders!
> 
> chan - xxx-xxx-1003/dad  
> minho - xxx-xxx-1025/pussyluvr  
> changbin - xxx-xxx-0811/spearb  
> hyunjin - xxx-xxx-0320/stan got7/kendall  
> jisung - xxx-xxx-0914/sunshine/james  
> felix - xxx-xxx-0915/stan twice/carlos  
> seungmin - xxx-xxx-0922/stan day6/logan  
> jeongin - xxx-xxx-0208/baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!
> 
> also!!! texts that are in ITALICS are in ENGLISH
> 
> also pls ignore all inconsistencies in pictures, i rlly am not going for accuracy just pretend they always look the same in pics /:

(december 16th)

**sadpussy (8)**

**carlos:** very important question

**spearb:** answer

**carlos:** does pineapple belong on pizza

**james:** yes

**pussyluvr:** yes

**logan:** no

**baby:** yes

**dad:** isn't this debate old

**carlos:** not when people still have the wrong taste buds /:

**pussyluvr:** the fight will never be over until everyone in the world can agree that pineapple on pizza is perfectly fine

**kendall:** i don't really like it

 **kendall:** but i think its kinda dumb watching people argue about it

**logan:** agree

 **logan:** people are allowed to not like things

**spearb:** all these food debates are dumb

 **spearb:** except that one person dunking their pizza in milk

 **spearb:** we gotta draw the line somewhere and i think its there

**james:** omg did u see the one where they put strawberries on pizza????

**carlos:** excuse me, they what now

**baby:** yeah… pineapple on pizza definitely doesnt need fought over when there's stuff like that being on

**pussyluvr:** tbh anything is better than ‘none pizza left beef’

**spearb:** agree….

**carlos:** hey

 **carlos:** that didnt look horrible

 **carlos:** i bet my life that it actually tasted good

**logan:** i mean yeah probably

 **logan:** but thats not a pizza

**james:** sure it is

**spearb:** it was just beef on bread

**carlos:** now thats just offensive

**baby:** anything can be a pizza if u want it to be

**dad:** i dont think thats how that works

**james:** not with that attitude its not

**kendall:** idk man

 **kendall:** id take none pizza left beef over pizza with anchovies /:

**baby:** FAT AGREE

**logan:** i think most people can agree on that one

 **logan:** theres nothing wrong with pineapple when you compare to anchovies

**spearb:** why were you even asking in the first place

**carlos:** i wanted to make sure this friendship would survive

 **carlos:** congrats you all survived !!!

**logan:** damn /:

**james:** what would u have done if we failed

**carlos:** …

 **carlos:** i dont know.

 **carlos:** i didnt plan ahead that far

**pussyluvr:** felt

**00 line best line (4)**

**carlos:** _do u ever think about geese have teeth_

 **carlos:** _like_

 **carlos:** _teeth teeth_

 **carlos:** _and like a lot of them_

**james:** _dude_

 **james:** _all the time_

**carlos:** _thank god_

 **carlos:** _i knew i could trust you_

**kendall:** um

 **kendall:** korean pls??

**logan:** i think you're better off not knowing

**carlos:** oh right

 **carlos:** seungmin u speak english

**logan:** not much

 **logan:** but enough

 **logan:** so. why geese teeth

**carlos:** bc i saw a picture of them and it reminded me that they have like

 **carlos:** real teeth

**kendall:** as opposed to fake ones?

 **kendall:** why would geese have fake teeth

**james:** people have fake teeth

 **james:** no reason birds couldn’t too

**carlos:** omg do you think they make fake teeth for birds

**logan:** i very very much doubt it

**james:** thats sad //:

 **james:** they make them for dogs tho

 **james:** what if i had a pet bird that needed fake teeth

**kendall:** wait

 **kendall:** what were you even doing that you saw geese teeth??

**carlos:** oh!

 **carlos:** i follow a geese account on instagram

 **carlos:** they just post a bunch of pictures of geese

 **carlos:** and today they posted a picture of geese teeth as like

 **carlos:** a fun fact??

 **carlos:** but tbh this is the opposite of a fun fact

**kendall:** oof

**logan:** i don't even wanna know why you're following a geese page

**james:** oh!! i follow a squirrel page

 **james:** give me the geese accs @ i wanna follow too

**kendall:** same… 

**carlos:** its goosegoose !!

**james:** followed!

**carlos:** whats the squirrel acc

**james:** nutz4nuts

**kendall:** speaking of instagram

 **kendall:** can we all follow each other

 **kendall:** pls omg my user is hhyunjjin

**carlos:** clapped but ill follow

 **carlos:** mines lixiepixie

**logan:** thats actually cute 

**logan:** im kseungmin

**james:** all of u, followed

 **james:** if u couldnt tell

 **james:** im realjone

**kendall:** i have to do smth

 **kendall:** brb

  
  


**sadpussy (8)**

**kendall:** … 

**kendall:**

****

**kendall:** WHO said he could be this CUTE

**dad:** is that felix?

 **dad:** where did you even get that picture of him

**pussyluvr:** he do be cute tho

**carlos:** THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD TO DO

 **carlos:** HYUNJIN

**kendall:** and look at seungmin!! 

**kendall:** hes so cute!!

**kendall:**

****

**spearb:** its always the cute ones that are the most dangerous

**logan:** did you just call me cute

**spearb:** no

**baby:** he absolutely did

 **baby:** and hes not wrong

**james:** lmao

 **james:** seungmin u look like a cute puppy

**pussyluvr:** omg he really does lol

**logan:** shut up squirrel boy

**james:** why just me

 **james:** minho agreed !!!!

**logan:** okay and

 **logan:** i dont respect you

**carlos:** that implies that you do respect minho though

**logan:** ah

 **logan:** youre right

 **logan:** i didnt think that through

**pussyluvr:** you dont respect me?

 **pussyluvr:** understandable

**kendall:** and speaking of squirrel boys

 **kendall:** JISUNG

**kendall:**

**pussyluvr:** okay not that im complaining

 **pussyluvr:** bc im totally not

 **pussyluvr:** not anymore at least

 **pussyluvr:** but what is happening 

**carlos:** we followed each other on instagram

**james:** this is feeling very unfair 

**james:** so

**james:**

**kendall:** /:

**logan:** you had that one coming

**baby:** its okay hyung, youre cute

**kendall:** blushing emoji

**spearb:** did you just type out blushing emoji instead of just

 **spearb:** using and emoji

**kendall:** yeah

 **kendall:** and what about it

**dad:** he looks squishy

**carlos:** have you seen jisung

 **carlos:** hes like

 **carlos:** the definition of squish

**pussyluvr:** wait the 00s shared instas?

 **pussyluvr:** and DIDNT bother to share with us /:

 **pussyluvr:** rude

**carlos:** what are ur @s then

**james:** WAIT

 **james:** guys do you think they make fake teeth for birds

**logan:** i already told you they wouldn't 

**baby:** they don't ?

 **baby:** upsetting

**pussyluvr:** why wouldn't they

 **pussyluvr:** they do it for dogs

 **pussyluvr:** so if my pet birds teeth fell out, it would just have to have no teeth?

**james:** you have a pet bird?

**pussyluvr:** no im just saying, if i had one

 **pussyluvr:** my hypothetical pet bird

**kendall:** you two are the literal same person

**spearb:** i'm sure the could make them if they needed to

**dad:** i guess fake bird teeth aren't a very big market

**carlos:** but why NOT

**james:** what if u have a toothless pet bird

 **james:** how well can they survive without teeth

**logan:** well enough, apparently

**carlos:** this is an off topic question

 **carlos:** insta @s pls!

**dad:** well

 **dad:** mines thecb97

**spearb:** mines the same as here

**baby:** mines innie

**pussyluvr:** im leeknow

**james:** followed x4

**carlos:** ^^^

**dad:** ‘lixiepixie’ 

**dad:** ah thats cute

**pussyluvr:** why is hyunjins user so clapped lmao

**kendall:** ITS NOT CLAPPED

**baby:** it could be worse

**carlos:** the only ones with rights here are me and jeongin

 **carlos:** seungmin just used his name

 **carlos:** our resident soundcloud rappers get a pass because those are their rap names

 **carlos:** hyunjins just looks like he tried to use his name but it was taken so he had to improvise

**kendall:** … 

**kendall:** no comment 

**james:** lmao

 **james:** is that what happened

**pussyluvr:** it totally is

**[private dm: pussyluvr and kendall]**

**pussyluvr:** hello hhyunjjin

 **pussyluvr:** i didnt wanna mention in the main chat but

 **pussyluvr:** i might have stalked through everyones profiles and

 **pussyluvr:** one of the buildings in one of your posts looks a lot like one of the dance buildings at my university

 **pussyluvr:** you did say you were a dance major, right?

**kendall:** please let me breathe

 **kendall:** wait

 **kendall:** are you saying you think we go to the same uni

**pussyluvr:** no

 **pussyluvr:** but yeah

**kendall:** dude

 **kendall:** that would be actually insane

 **kendall:** do you think seungmin and changbin go here too

 **kendall:** omg what if jeongin comes here next year

**pussyluvr:** i doubt it lmao

 **pussyluvr:** this is a performing arts university so there’s not a photography or education majors offered

 **pussyluvr:** so thats seungmin and jeongin out

 **pussyluvr:** i actually dont know if they have music production here or not

**kendall:** either way omg

 **kendall:** this is so cool

**pussyluvr:** i can not for the life of me remember seeing you on campus

**kendall:** i dont think ive seen you either

 **kendall:** but were in different years so thats probably why

**pussyluvr:** mm probably

**kendall:** anyways wanna hang out

**pussyluvr:** oh? u wanna hang out with a big, scary stranger?

 **pussyluvr:** wow what would chan say

**kendall:** oof

 **kendall:** he’d be slightly concerned but overall supportive

**pussyluvr:** anyways

 **pussyluvr:** yeah sure

 **pussyluvr:** when and where

**kendall:** you know that really nice cafe by the library?

 **kendall:** some time next week??

**pussyluvr:** yeah alright sounds good to me

 **pussyluvr:** i hope youre okay with taking many selfies to document two of the prettiest people ever meeting

**kendall:** um? duh

 **kendall:** who do you think i am

 **kendall:** i would have been offended if we DIDNT take selfies

**pussyluvr:** understandable

 **pussyluvr:** should we tell the others about meeting up

**kendall:** oh my god no

 **kendall:** we should just surprise them by sending the pics

**pussyluvr:** ur brain? amazes me

**kendall:** as it should 

**kendall:** are you doing the winter showcase?

**pussyluvr:** yeah

 **pussyluvr:** i'm doing a solo this year and then a group dance with my class

**kendall:** god i wish i could do a solo

 **kendall:** i really wished they'd let first years take solo slots, but like i get it

 **kendall:** i'm gonna blow the pants off everyone when i can take a solid third year

**pussyluvr:** you might be able to next year

 **pussyluvr:** there's only a few solo spots and sometimes there's not enough third and fourth years that want to do one

 **pussyluvr:** so they have extra slots they give to second years

**kendall:** god i hope

 **kendall:** even if i do have wait until third year it'll be so worth it

 **kendall:** i can't complain

**pussyluvr:** either way im sure you'll do good

 **pussyluvr:** can't wait for you to shit yourself when you see my godlike skills

**kendall:** how do you stay so humble

**pussyluvr:** it's a talent only few possess

  
  


**[private dm: dad and carlos]**

**dad:** _this might sound weird_

 **dad:** _i don't mean it to sound weird_

 **dad:** _i promise im trustworthy_

**carlos:** _omg ur fine_

 **carlos:** _what is it_

**dad:** _do you live in sydney_

**carlos:** _yeah that is a little weird lmao_

 **carlos:** _but i trust u!_

 **carlos:** _yeah i live in sydney, why?_

**dad:** _so do i_

 **dad:** _some of your posts just looked familiar is all_

**carlos:** _dude no way_

 **carlos:** _so you're saying we could've been friends this whole time_

**carlos:** _and the universe just forgot to let us know_

 **carlos:** _im like big time offended to be honest_

**dad:** _i know lmao_

 **dad:** _i almost feel a little robbed_

**carlos:** _just a little ???_

 **carlos:** _i'm feeling A LOT ROBBED_

**dad:** _i can't believe we've never met before_

 **dad:** _i know sydney isn't the smallest place ever but_

**carlos:** _dude this is literally insane_

 **carlos:** _we HAVE to meet omg_

 **carlos:** _this is like fate lmao_

**dad:** _are you sure that's a good idea_

 **dad:** _i mean like_

 **dad:** _i know we've started sharing more info about ourselves but_

 **dad:** _idk it's just still really easy to end up not being exactly who you say you are_

 **dad:** _not that i don't trust you because i do_

**carlos:** _no i get it_

 **carlos:** _you can never be too sure about people you've never met in real life_

 **carlos:** _if i was a little more cautious i might care but_

 **carlos:** _i don't have anything to hide and i've been upfront about things_

 **carlos:** _so im just putting faith in you guys that you are too_

**dad:** _i haven't lied, and i don't plan to start_

 **dad:** _i guess im worrying over nothing_

**carlos:** _it's definitely not nothing_

 **carlos:** _it's good to be cautious, especially about stuff like this_

 **carlos:** _so don't invalidate your worries_

 **carlos:** _we totally don't have to meet if you're not comfortable_

**dad:** _no!!!_

 **dad:** _i definitely do want to meet_

**carlos:** _sick, mate_

**dad:** _when?_

**carlos:** _next week maybe?_

 **carlos:** _i swamped with school stuff rn_

 **carlos:** _but the laser tag place is having an unlimited gameplay night for like_

 **carlos:** _$30_

 **carlos:** _i've had this day marked off on my calendar for the past 19 years_

**dad:** _sounds good to me_

 **dad:** _i haven't played laser tag in years omg_

 **dad:** _we can get food too_

**carlos:** _!!!!!!_

 **carlos:** _can't wait_

**[private dm: logan and baby]**

**logan:** i think i might be having a severe lapse in judgement

**baby:**?????

**logan:** i've been scrolling through changbins instagram

 **logan:** he is not ugly 

**baby:** i thought this had already been pointed out

 **baby:** and he has like? four selfies 

**baby:** are you okay

**logan:** is four pictures not enough to know if someone's ugly or not

**baby:** no it is

 **baby:** if that's even him

**logan:** what do you mean

**baby:** just

 **baby:** the rest of us all have like…. a bunch of posts

 **baby:** he barely has 20 and almost none of his face

 **baby:** just a bunch of black and white pictures of random things

**logan:** you think he's catfishing?

 **logan:** he might just not like pictures

**baby:** i mean.. kinda?

 **baby:** any of you could be idk

 **baby:** i guess that could be it, i just

 **baby:** even if i'm not sure you guys are really who you say you are i don't want to see you get hurt and stuff if you take interest in changbin if he's not what you thought?

**logan:** /:

 **logan:** thanks

**baby:** so are you

 **baby:** interested in him?

**logan:** i haven't even known him for a week

**baby:** so? people ask random strangers they've never spoken to out

 **baby:** at least you've talked to him

**logan:** i don't know him though

 **logan:** how can you like someone you don't even know

**baby:** so you like him then

**logan:** no

**baby:** if thinking that helps you sleep at night then sure

 **baby:** i think you should go for it though

 **baby:** be safe, but go for it

**logan:** i'm not going for anything because there's nothing to go for

**baby:** why'd you message me about it if it was nothing

**logan:** /: 

**logan:** i don't like this 

**baby:** lmao

 **baby:** actually though

 **baby:** why did you message me and not like

 **baby:** one of the other 00 liners

**logan:** because we already had a priv chat open and jisung and felix are infuriating

 **logan:** and you seem alright

**baby:** just alright?

 **baby:** ill take it

**logan:** anyways

 **logan:** you are not legally obligated to tell me something since i told you something

**baby:** i turned on hyunjins post notifications on instagram

 **baby:** he's really pretty

**logan:** just hyunjin?

 **logan:** ouch

 **logan:** but fair enough

**baby:** i mean

 **baby:** youre all cute ig

 **baby:** but hyunjin just hits different

 **baby:** like changbin hits different for u

**logan:** i cant believe you just made me read that with my own two eyes

**baby:** im only saying facts

**logan:** thats not facts

**baby:** are you calling me a liar

**logan:** well i ain't calling you a truther

**baby:** ouch

**logan:** die mad about it

  
  


**thecb97 | 102 posts | 3289 followers | 316 following**

**CB97**

spending entirely too much time in the studio

**lixiepixie started following you !**

**leeknow started following you !**

**kseungmin started following you !**

**realjone started following you !**

**spearb started following you**

**innie started following you !**

**hhyunjjin started following you !**

****

**❤ 231 likes**

**thecb97:** not very good at this whole selfie thing

 **leeknow:** hot

 **lixiepixie:** (;

  
  


**leeknow | 207 posts | 2413 followers | 243 following**

**minho**

dont talk to me unless youre soonie, doongie, or dori

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**❤ 289 likes**

**leeknow:** mayhaps might have to steal her

 **realjone:** loml material

 **innie:** cute

 **innies:** the bunny, not you

  
  


**spearb** **| 35 posts | 3034 followers | 172 following**

**changbin**

soundcloud.com/spearb 

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****

**❤ 213 likes**

**spearb:** yoh

 **thebc97:** YOH

 **kseungmin:** cute

  
  


**hhyunjjin | 264 posts | 3134 followers | 423 following**

**hyunjin**

kkami 

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****

**❤ 341 likes**

**hhyunjjin:** bring headbands back

 **innie:** pls bring them back forever

 **lixiepixie:** hq man with a lq username

  
  


**realjone | 178 posts | 3412 followers | 213 following**

**jisung**

i am NOT a squirrel

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****

**❤ 287 likes**

**realjone:** vibin

 **leeknow:** pretty smile

 **kseungmin:** lmao squirrel

  
  


**lixiepixie | 217 posts | 2987 followers | 424 following**

**felix**

i didnt choose the meme life, the meme life chose me

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****

**❤ 302 likes**

**lixiepixie:** Any Tik tok suggestions ?

 **realjone:** KING

 **thecb97:** blushing emoji

**kseungmin | 324 posts | 2798 followers | 253 following**

**kim seungmin**

no i wont take pictures for you

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****

**❤ 204 likes**

**kseungmin:** new camera

 **spearb:** nice

 **leeknow:** take pics of me, king

**innie | 121 posts | 2104 followers | 211 following**

**jeongin**

full time baby

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**kseungmin started following you !**

**❤ 243 likes**

**innie:** insert babie noises

 **hhyunjjin:** cute baby

 **lixiepixie:** u should get paid for being this cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> supes unsure abt how im feeling abt this chapter but whats done is done alkjdsal  
> i kinda feel like im rushing things,, both the progression of their relationships with each other and just their conversations in general. yall idk 
> 
> AND IM DISAPPOINTED only ONE person caught and pointed out the wow reference i made in the last chapter,,, yall 
> 
> anyways
> 
> aand feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i do my best to follow everyone back and! i give out free minho hugs to all my new followers, so if that isnt reason enough to follow me idk what is. lets be moots!)  
> and! heres my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/miinhohugs) if u want to leave me anything!


	5. mafia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan - dad  
> minho - pussyluvr  
> changbin - spearb  
> hyunjin - kendall/minnies jinnie  
> jisung - james/minnies sungie  
> felix - carlos/minnies lixie  
> seungmin - logan/seungmurderer/minnie murder  
> jeongin - baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!

(december 17th)

**00 line best line (4)**

**carlos:** we should play mafia

**logan:** just the four of us?

**logan:** that’d be a pretty boring game

**james:** im down

**kendall:** would we even have any citizens if we played just the four of us

**logan:** no lmao

**logan:** narrator, at least one mafia, doctor, and sheriff

**logan:** thats four already

**james:** no doctor

**carlos:** omg

**carlos:** cold blooded

**kendall:** sheriff would be pointless with only four people

**kendall:** you’d only have two people to guess from

**kendall:** one guess and you have the answer

**james:** no doctor no sheriff

**logan:** i mean, that could work

**logan:** would still be pretty boring though

**carlos:** so

**carlos:** lets play anyways

**kendall:** whats with the sudden desire to play mafia anyways

**carlos:** im bored and its a fun game

**james:** murder is the best way to bond with people

**logan:** know that from experience?

**james:** wouldnt you like to know, weather boy

**logan:** i mean

**logan:** tbh yeah i would like to know

**carlos:** omg could u imagine

**carlos:** if we were all just talking to some murderer this whole time

**kendall:** my vote would be on changbin

**kendall:** he's too cautious

**logan:** no it wouldn't be him

**carlos:** wow

**carlos:** love really does blind you

**logan:** shut up

**logan:** there's no love here

**james:** no i agree with seungmin

**kendall:** omg

**kendall:** jisung is in love with changbin

**carlos:** fat off

**carlos:** looks like you've got competition, seungmin

**logan:** no i don't

**logan:** jisung can have him

**james:** i don't want him either

**logan:** anyways

**logan:** if there WAS a murderer

**logan:** it'd be someone like jisung

**logan:** or minho hyung

**logan:** insanely social and unafraid of info sharing

**logan:** hiding in plain sight

**kendall:** i don't like the amount of thought you put into this

**carlos:** what if seungmins the murderer

**james:** seungmurderer, i think u mean

**kendall:** now that was just bad

**[logan set their name to 'seungmurderer']**

**seungmurderer:** thanks i love it

**james:** i can't tell if you're being like genuine

**james:** or if this is some extra way to make fun of me

**seungmurderer:** (:

**seungmurderer:** wouldn't you like to know, weather boy

**james:** i don't like this

**carlos:** we don't match anymore /:

**seungmurderer:** btr disbanded

**seungmurderer:** it just wasn't meant to be

**kendall:** ouch

**james:** cold blooded

**james:** really living up to your name wow

**carlos:** what are we supposed to do now

**logan:** change your names to victim 1, 2, and 3

**kendall:** that's too confusing

**[carlos set seungmurderers name to 'minnie murder]**

**[carlos set james' name to 'minnies sungie']**

**[carlos set kendalls name to 'minnies jinnie]**

**[carlos set their name to 'minnies lixie']**

**minnies sungie:** this is soft

**minnies lixie:** it is illegal for us to not have matching names

**minnie murder:** that makes it sound like were part of some cult

**minnies jinnie:** we are

**minnies jinnie:** and we worship you, apparently

**minnie murder:** as it should be

**minnies sungie:** seungmins name makes him sound like he's going through his scene phase

**minnie murder:** im actually enjoying these names dont ruin them

**minnies sungie:** okay okay

**minnies sungie:** my fingers are sealed

**minnies jinnie:** excuse me, your what are what now

**minnies lixie:** his fingers are sealed

**minnies lixie:** like his lips are sealed but

**minnies lixie:** his fingers since were texting

**minnies sungie:** felix i love you

**minies lixie:** jisung i love you too

**minnie murder:** i hate it here

**minnies jinnie:** whatever lets just play the game now

**minnies jinnie:** it could be fun

**minnie murder:** just a mafia, right?

**minnie murder:** no doctor or sheriff

**minnies sungie:** yes

**minnies sungie:** only murder

**minnie murder:** amazing

**minnies jinnie:** whos narrating

**minnies sungie:** felix

**minnies sungie:** it was his idea

**minnies lixie:** okay!

**minnies lixie:** if u dont get pmed, ur a citizen

**minnies jinnie:** okaayy

**minnies sungie:** got it, chief 

**[private dm: minnies lixie and minnies jinnie]**

**minnies lixie:** ur mafia

**minnies jinnie:** amazing

**minnies jinnie:** i cant wait to get away with murder

**minnies lixie:** youll only get away if youre careful

**minnies jinnie:** ill be the most careful

**minnies jinnie:** youll be blown away by how careful ill be

**minnies lixie:** well see 

**minnies lixie:** eyes emoji

**00 line best line (4)**

**minnie murder:** the more i think about it

**minnie murder:** the less sense it makes to play mafia with four people

**minnies sungie:** dont be a debby downer

**minnies jinnie:** yeah dont crush lixies dream

**minnie murder:** im not saying we shouldnt play

**minnie murder:** itll just be a very short game

**minnies lixie:** IT IS NOW NIGHTTIME 

**minnies lixie:** mafia pls report to me ur first kill

**minnies jinnie:** aye aye captain

**minnies lixie:** hyunjin…

**minnies jinnies:** oh shoot

**minnie murder:** well

**minnie murder:** that game was even shorter than expected

**minnies sungie:** wait

**minnies sungie:** why didnt we just ask the big chat to play

**minnies sungie:** thats enough people

**minnies lixie:** … 

**minnie murder:** that wouldve been a good idea

**minnies jinnie:** we'd actually have enough people to actually play the game

**minnies sungie:** just don't have hyunjin be mafia again

**minnies jinnie:** HEY

**minnies jinnie:** it was a small lapse in judgement

**minnies jinnie:** i could totally be a good mafia

**minnies lixie:** listen i believe in u

**minnies jinnie:** thank u

**minnie murder:** i don't

**minnies sungie:** i do!

**minnies jinnie:** everyone has rights except seungmin

**minnie murder:** im just being realistic

**minnies lixie:** well then stop

**minnies sungie:** realistic is BORING

**minnie murder:** maybe i LIKE being boring

**minnies lixie:** so u admit ur boring

**minnie murder:** sure

**minnie murder:** being boring isnt a bad thing

**minnies sungie:** i guess not

**minnies sungie:** if it makes u happy then okay!

**minnies jinnie:** are we asking the rest to play 

**minnies lixie:** brb 

**sadpussy (8)**

**minnies lixie:** so

**minnies lixie:** who wants to play mafia

**baby:** felix?

**minnies lixie:** yes?

**baby:** okay just checking

**dad:** your name is different

**minnies sungie:** seungmin took us under his care

**minnies sungie:** were his sugar babies

**minnie murder:** this is not what this is

**minnie murder:** im literally younger than all three of you

**minnie murder:** i can't be a daddy

**pussyluvr:** sure you can

**minnie murder:** well i don't want to be

**pussyluvr:** you sound like you're going through your scene phase with that name

**minnies sungie:** !!!

**minnies sungie:** that's what i said

**pussyluvr:** soulmate behavior, i think

**dad:** wait 

**dad:** what am i hearing about mafia

**minnie murder:** mafia

**minnie murder:** do you all want to play

**spearb:** as long as im not the mafia

**minnies lixie:** we can't promise that

**spearb:** well why not

**minnies sungie:** bc if we agree to that then we all KNOW you're not the mafia

**minnie sungie:** takes away from the mystery

**pussyluvr:** can i be the narrator

**pussyluvr:** i like being all knowing

**minnie murder:** you would too

**baby:** at least if he's the narrator he can't be mafia

**baby:** that thought makes me a little nervous

**spearb:** agree

**pussyluvr:** listen id be a great mafia

**baby:** that's why it's scary

**minnies jinnie:** felix was narrator in the 00 line game

**minnies jinnie:** i don't think he did a very good job though

**minnies lixie:** HEY

**minnies lixie:** i did a GREAT

**minnies sungie:** you did do great

**dad:** how..

**dad:** how did you play if there are only four of you

**minnies lixie:** no police no doctor

**minnies lixie:** just murder

**pussyluvr:** as it should be

**baby:** and this is why i am afraid

**spearb:** sounds like a really short game

**minnies sungie:** it was

**minnies sungie:** hyunjin gave himself away before the game even started

**dad:** … 

**minnies jinnie:** don't judge me

**minnies jinnie:** it was an honest mistake

**minnie murder:** do you guys want to play or not

**baby:** yes

**spearb:** sure

**dad:** yes!

**pussyluvr:** can

**pussyluvr:** i

**pussyluvr:** be

**pussyluvr:** narrator

**minnies lixie:** yes

**pussyluvr:** then yes i want to play

**minnies jinnie:** were you just not going to play if you weren't narrator

**pussyluvr:** no i would have

**pussyluvr:** i just would have been very put out about it

**spearb:** which means he would be whiney about it

**minnies sungie:** called OUT

**pussyluvr:** ur right but,, u didn't need to say it

**spearb:** i live to watch you suffer

**pussyluvr:** u better change that 'the sadpussy gc did it' note in ur pocket to 'lee minho did it'

**baby:** does the threatening as a way of flirting count for minho hyung too

**minnies lixie:** oh no seungmin

**minnies lixie:** u better watch out!

**minnie murder:** watch out for what

**minnies sungie:** redacted is redacting with redacted and going to redacted 

**minnies jinnie:** u should redact with redacted too so redacted does redacted 

**dad:** redact doesn't feel like a word anymore

**baby:** i can decipher that well enough and yet i still feel like i understand nothing

**minnies lixie:** good

**minnie murder:** i don't want to redact with redacted? redacted can redact redacted 

**minnie murder:** jisung should be more redacted about redacted redacting with redacted than me anyways

**minnies sungie:** what do i have to be redacted about

**minnies jinnie:** omg

**minnies jinnie:** redacted and redacted are gonna redacted and leave seungsung alone

**minnie murder:** can we just play the game now

**dad:** the game

**minnies sungie:** …. 

**minnies sungie:** i hate you

**minnies sungie:** i hate you so much

**minnies sungie:** ITS BEEN Y E A R S

**minnies lixie:** omg

**minnies lixie:** how COULD YOU

**baby:** i've never felt betrayal this intense

**spearb:** just start the game omg

**pussyluvr:** fine fine

**pussyluvr:** ill dm u ur roles

**pussyluvr:** if u don't hear from me ur a peasant

**minnie murder:** do you mean citizen

**pussyluvr:** no

**minnies lixie:** (':

**[private dm: pussyluvr and spearb]**

**pussyluvr:** hello trashbin

**spearb:** …

**spearb:** i don't want to be the mafia

**pussyluvr:** did i say you were the mafia

**pussyluvr:** ur the doctor

**spearb:** oh cool

**spearb:** i can deal with that

**pussyluvr:** can't believe u thought id do u like that

**spearb:** being mafia doesn't involve having the possibility of death

**pussyluvr:** that's kinda depressing, dude

**pussyluvr:** u good?

**spearb:** yeah

**pussyluvr:** if u say so

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies lixie]**

**pussyluvr:** ur the police

**minnies lixie:** nice

**minnies lixie:** do i get a uniform

**pussyluvr:** i mean

**pussyluvr:** i guess you can wear one if you really want to

**pussyluvr:** i can't tell you how to life

**pussyluvr:** probably wouldn't help though

**minnies lixie:** it'd help me look hot

**pussyluvr:** ur not wrong there

**minnies lixie:** omg are u flirting with me

**pussyluvr:** not really

**pussyluvr:** it's just fact that uniforms make ppl more hot

**minnies lixie:** ur so right

**pussyluvr:** i know

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies sungie]**

**pussyluvr:** u

**minnies sungie:** i

**pussyluvr:** are

**minnies sungie:** am

**pussyluvr:** mafia!

**minnies sungie:** mafia! 

**minnies sungie:** fun

**minnies sungie:** i already know my first victim

**minnies sungie:** he'll never see it coming

**pussyluvr:** hot

**pussyluvr:** good luck, soldier

**minnies sungie:** thank u thank u

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** hello peasants

**pussyluvr:** after a long day of doing narrator things

**pussyluvr:** it is now night in hogwarts

**baby:** hogwarts?

**baby:** should we be in like

**baby:** a village or something

**pussyluvr:** are you the narrator?

**pussyluvr:** no i didn't think so

**pussyluvr:** I AM

**pussyluvr:** which means i get to pick where we are

**minnies jinnie:** i like hogwarts

**dad:** chamber of secrets part 2

**minnies sungie:** omg

**minnies sungie:** harry potter and the sadpussy gc

**spearb:** does that mean when one of us dies were getting killed by a basilisk 

**pussyluvr:** yes

**pussyluvr:** that is exactly what it means

**minnies lixie:** are you going to narrate little stories for each death

**minnies lixie:** bc u should

**minnies jinnie:** agree

**minnie murder:** agree

**pussyluvr:** if u INSIST

**pussyluvr:** then i GUESS

**baby:** !! fun

**spearb:** speaking of deaths

**spearb:** can we get on with it now

**minnies jinnie:** changbin hyung is mafia

**spearb:** ??? i already said i didnt want to be mafia

**spearb:** and the game hasnt even started yet what

**minnies sungie:** we already told u

**minnies sungie:** we cant just let u NOT be mafia bc u said so

**minnies sungie:** that totally defeats the purpose

**minnies sungie:** so u could totally be mafia

**minnies lixie:** plus ur rlly excited for some deaths

**baby:** what if mafia is hyunjin hyung

**baby:** already pointing fingers to hide that he’s guilty

**minnie murder:** guilty of what we havent even started the game yet

**pussyluvr:** non peasants pls slide into my dms

**pussyluvr:** its time to party

**dad:** shaky eyes 

**[private dm: minnies sungie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies sungie:** eliminate me

**pussyluvr:** what

**pussyluvr:** i dont think thats how the game works

**minnies sungie:** i want to fake my death

**minnies sungie:** nobody can guess its me if im ‘dead’

**pussyluvr:** hm

**pussyluvr:** u make a compelling point

**pussyluvr:** i guess rules arent that important anyways

**minnies sungie:** rules are merely suggestions

**minnies sungie:** and everyone knows u dont listen to suggestions

**pussyluvr:** im sold

**pussyluvr:** ur eliminated

**minnies sungie:** thank u sir

**pussyluvr:** uwu

**[private dm: spearb and pussyluvr]**

**spearb:** seungmin

**pussyluvr:** oya?

**pussyluvr:** inch resting

**spearb:** get out, weeb

**spearb:** he just seems like hell be a target 

**pussyluvr:** and u want to protect him

**pussyluvr:** how cute

**spearb:** how is that cute

**spearb:** isnt that the whole point of the doctor role

**spearb:** to keep people alive

**pussyluvr:** yeah

**pussyluvr:** the people YOU WANT to stay alive

**spearb:** yeah??

**spearb:** doesnt a doctor want everyone to stay alive

**pussyluvr:** u are so dense

**[private dm: minnies lixie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies lixie:** is it jeongin

**pussyluvr:** no

**minnies lixie:** damn

**minnies lixie:** i was hoping youd go the unexpected route

**minnies lixie:** well i know my next guess then

**pussyluvr:** u can see it but i winked

**minnies lixie:** u could have just sent a winky face

**pussyluvr:** doesnt have the same impact

**minnies lixie:** …

**minnies lixie:** fair enough

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** it is now day in hogwarts

**pussyluvr:** students are waking up and getting ready for classes

**baby:** im so excited for care of magical creatures

**minnies lixie:** same!

**minnies lixie:** i hope we learn about pygmy puffs today

**minnies sungie:** i think were learning about blast ended skrewts again /:

**baby:** oof

**baby:** could be worse ig

**spearb:** you guys know this isnt a harry potter roleplay right

**dad:** im excited for charms!

**minnies jinnie:** im excited for breakfast

**dad:** oh god yeah

**dad:** im so ready for breakfast

**pussyluvr:** dont get too excited!

**pussyluvr:** once all students are gathered in the great hall, headmaster mcgonagall comes to announce that theres another basilisk loose in the school

**pussyluvr:** she says one student has already had a run in with it and has suffered a most unfortunate death 

**pussyluvr:** she would like to have a moment of silence for hufflepuff student jisung

**minnies sungie:** omg

**minnies sungie:** offended but

**minnies sungie:** at least i can become a hogwarts ghost

**minnies lixie:** youll have so much fun with peeves, man

**baby:** well then

**baby:** not what i was expecting but alright

**minnie murder:** i thought itd be me

**minnie murder:** or changbin hyung

**dad:** oh no /:

**dad:** how are we supposed to collab if youre dead

**minnies jinnie:** collab?

**dad:** oh yeah!

**dad:** me, changbin, and jisung were going to collab on soundcloud

**baby:** changbin hyung has a soundcloud?

**spearb:** (‘:

**dad:** oops

**dad:** dont think i was supposed to say that

**spearb:** theres literally a link so it in my instagram bio

**dad:** oh

**dad:** right

**baby:** ...mayhaps i should have paid a little more attention

**minnies jinnie:** i knew!

**minnies jinnie:** i listened to your stuff

**minnies jinnie:** and jisung and chans

**minnies jinnie:** its good!

**pussyluvr:** u all went on my playlists

**minnies sungie:** blushing emoji

**dad:** thank u!!

**minnies sungie:** and dont worry chan hyung

**minnies sungie:** even if i am a ghost now we can still collab

**minnies sungie:** itll be cool

**pussyluvr:** now now peasants

**pussyluvr:** pls discuss and vote for the next murder

**minnies jinnie:** i still think its changbin hyung

**spearb:** ITS NOT ME

**minnies jinnie:** that was pretty defensive… 

**baby:** i vote hyunjin hyung

**baby:** he’s still trying too hard to push blame to someone else

**minnies lixie:** but would hyunjin kill jisung tho

**baby:** …

**baby:** probably not

**baby:** but things are different in mafia

**baby:** there is no love here

**minnie murder:** you know, youre pushing blame too jeongin

**minnie murder:** are you sure YOURE not mafiia

**minnies lixie:** its impossible not to push blame 

**minnies lixie:** we could use that same logic forever and just keep going in circles

**minnies lixie:** then we’d get nowhere

**dad:** thats true

**dad:** i also think its changbin

**dad:** collabing with two ghosts would be pretty cool

**minnies sungie:** ur damn right it would be cool

**minnies sungie:** who else but you could brag about their mixtape having two ghost features

**dad:** exactly!

**dad:** we’d get so much attention

**pussyluvr:** so thats two for changbin

**pussyluvr:** and one for hyunjin

**pussyluvr:** the rest of u pls state ur votes

**minnies lixie:** changbin

**minnie murder:** changbin

**spearb:** chan

**dad:** what

**dad:** why me

**spearb:** you’re very unassuming

**minnies lixie:** good point

**pussyluvr:** well then

**pussyluvr:** changbin u have two seconds to defend yourself

**spearb:** why would i defend myself

**spearb:** that would be potentially passing an opportunity at death

**spearb:** plus i want to know who the mafia is

**pussyluvr:** very well

**pussyluvr:** it seems gryffindor student changbin was faced with death after a terrifying encounter with the basilisk in the boys bathroom between classes

**minnies lixie:** omg he’s just like myrtle now

**minnies lixie:** you two could be come friends!

**spearb:** im good

**spearb:** she always kinda put me off

**spearb:** im going to do my best to ignore her

**baby:** notice how earlier he said this wasnt a roleplay

**baby:** now hes roleplaying

**minnies jinnie:** character development

**minnie murder:** so

**minnie murder:** was he mafia

**pussyluvr:** nope!

**minnies lixie:** well shit

**dad:** im so sorry changbin

**spearb:** its okay

**spearb:** it happens to everyone eventually

**minnies sungie:** thats a little depressing

**spearb:** be like that sometimes

**pussyluvr:** it rlly do

**[pussyluvr added minnies sungie and spearb to a group]**

**[pussyluvr named the group ‘ghostown’]**

**pussyluvr:** welcome to the ghostown

**spearb:** who’s the mafia

**minnies sungie:** me

**spearb:** excuse me what

**minnies sungie:** im the mafia

**minnies sungie:** i eliminated myself so nobody would suspect me so i can snag the ultimate win

**spearb:** its that like

**spearb:** cheating

**minnies sungie:** mayhaps

**minnies sungie:** but rules mean nothing

**minnies sungie:** theres nothing wrong with cheating sometimes

**spearb:** you know what

**spearb:** i wont even argue

**pussyluvr:** changbin was the doctor so now theres no way u get murderblocked

**spearb:** murderblocked

**minnies sungie:** like cockblocked

**minnies sungie:** but murder

**spearb:** yeah not i got it

**spearb:** im just trying to figure out why he though that was an acceptable sentence

**pussyluvr:** u dont like my sentences? sad

**pussyluvr:** die mad about it

**spearb:** im already dead what do you want me to do

**minnies sungie:** i think you have to cross over into the light

**minnies sungie:** he wont be satisfied until youre completely gone

**minnies sungie:** ur still hanging around as a ghost

**pussyluvr:** u understand me

**minnies sungie:** ofc i do

**spearb:** can yall flirt on your own time

**pussyluvr:** dont be a hater just because youre jealous

**pussyluvr:** jealousy isnt a cute look

**spearb:** just go finish the game

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** it is nighttime at hogwats

**pussyluvr:** non peasants slide into my dms

**baby:** dinner was good today

**baby:** today was good

**baby:** even if we did have to learn about blast ended skrewts /:

**dad:** charms was really good too

**dad:** nobody had any accidents today

**dad:** im still nervous from when someone accidentally managed to make everyones hair grow six feet

**dad:** ive never seen so much hair

**minnies sungie:** changbin hyung and i had a great time avoiding myrtle and messing around with peeves

**minnies sungie:** yall wish you were us

**[private dm: minnies sungie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies sungie:** seungmin

**minnies sungie:** get rid of him

**pussyluvr:** brutal

**pussyluvr:** but ur wish is my command, king

**minnies sungie:** thanks, queen

**pussyluvr:** ome does this mean were married now

**minnies sungie:** yes

**minnies sungie:** well be the best power couple

**minnies sungie:** world domination in within our reach

**pussyluvr:** hot

**minnies sungie:** ikr

**[private dm: minnies lixie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies lixie:** is it chan

**pussyluvr:** nope

**minnies lixie:** omg

**minnies lixie:** so it has to be seungmin or felix

**pussyluvr:** u wont get anymore out of me, once

**minnies lixie:** im just thinking to myself, dont mind me 

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** it is now morning in hogwarts

**baby:** good morning !

**minnies jinnie:** morning!

**minnies sungie:** good morning mortals

**spearb:** boo

**minnie murder:** wow so scary

**minnie murder:** i am shaking in my boots

**dad:** is it time for breakfast yet

**minnies jinnie:** is food all you ever think about

**dad:** yes

**minnies lixie:** at least hes honest

**minnies sungie:** sounds like he’s got his priorities sorted to me

**spearb:** food >

**dad:** rt rt rt rt rt

**minnies lixie:** omg he knows a meme

**minnies lixie:** somebody mark the calander

**pussyluvr:** be quiet i have news

**pussyluvr:** once again it is time for breakfast at hogwarts, all the students eating happily until mcgonagall once again steps up to make a rather upsetting announcement.

**pussyluvr:** it seems a student was out after hours and was caught off guard by the basilisk

**pussyluvr:** please have a moment of silence for ravenclaw seungmin

**minnie murder:** you couldnt have made a better story

**minnie murder:** i wouldnt go out after hours /:

**minnies lixie:** sounds like something someone who goes out after hours would say hmm

**minnies sungie:** welcome to the ghost club, minnie

**minnie murder:** its not a pleasure to be here

**minnies sungie:** ouch

**pussyluvr:** do u need aloe for that burn

**minnies sungie:** yes pls

**baby:** looks like we can rule out seungmin hyung as mafia then

**dad:** and then there were three suspects

**minnies jinnie:** dont you mean four

**dad:** i know im not mafia so im not counting myself

**minnies lixie:** sound like something the mafia would say hmm

**dad:** felix listen

**dad:** im not mafia

**dad:** aussie code

**minnies lixie:** okay i believe u

**pussyluvr:** it is time to debate to the death

**minnies jinnie:** i think its jeongin

**minnies jinnie:** hes too innocent

**baby:** its not me

**minnies jinnie:** exactly

**minnies lixie:** i dont know if we can trust your judgement

**minnies lixie:** you were wrong about changbin

**baby:** its totally hyunjin hyung

**spearb:** this is amusing

**minnies sungie:** it really is

**minnies jinnie:** dont rub it in that you guys know who it is ok

**minnies lixie:** you know who it is too

**minnies lixie:** because its you

**minnies jinnie:** but its really not

**minnies lixie:** hmm

**minnies jinnie:** jisung tell them

**minnies jinnie:** its not me right

**pussyluvr:** invalid! u are not allowed to ask out ghosts for help

**pussyluvr:** cast your notes now peasants

**dad:** hyunjin

**minnies lixie:** hyunjin

**baby:** hyunjin

**minnies jinnie:** jeongin

**pussyluvr:** oof

**pussyluvr:** hyunjin you have thirty seconds to defend urself

**spearb:** why does he get thirty when i only got two

**pussyluvr:** bc youre not worth thirty seconds

**minnies sungie:** BURN

**minnie murder:** that was brutal

**minnie murder:** i didnt know you could kill a ghost but minho hyung managed to

**minnies sungie:** god he’s my hero

**minnies jinnie:** none of you will believe anything i say but im definitely not the mafia and you will all feel so bad once you realize it

**minnies jinnie:** cant believe youre killing me off

**minnies jinnie:** this is so sad alexa play the animal crossing music

**pussyluvr:** pls have a moment of silence for gryffindor student hyunjin who had a run in with the basilisk on his way to the great hall for lunch

**pussyluvr:** and before you ask

**pussyluvr:** no, he wasnt the mafia

**minnies lixie:** wait what

**minnies jinnie:** I TOLD YOU

**dad:** im not happy with the two options left

**minnie murder:** the three most unassuming are left

**minnie murder:** how frustrating 

**minines jinnie:** wait who’s the mafia then

**minnies jinnie:** am i allowed to know now

**pussyluvr:** yeah ill add you to the ghost gc

**[pussyluvr added minnie murder and minnies jinnie to ‘ghostown’]**

**minnie murder:** so who’s the mafia

**spearb:** jisung

**minnie murder:** … 

**minnies jinnie:** hes dead though

**minnies jinnie:** he was the first one

**minnies sungie:** i faked my death

**minnies sungie:** i wanted to win

**minnies sungie:** and watch whoever the police is lose his mind

**minnies sungie:** but unless either of you are the police..

**minnies sungie:** that will be a pleasure for later

**minnie murder:** i cant believe you

**minnie murder:** actually

**minnie murder:** yeah i can believe it

**minnies jinnie:** this is so cheating

**minnies sungie:** so

**spearb:** it gets kinda amusing watching everyone else try to figure it out though

**minnies jinnie:** omg it will be

**minnies jinnie:** they all think each other is the mafia but none of them are

**minnie murder:** oof

**minnie murder:** at least this is kind of going better than the 00 line game

**minnies jinnie:** true that

**minnies sungie:** you say that like youre not the reason it went bad

**minnies jinnie:** listen

**minnies jinnie:** it went wrong because there are only four of us

**minnies jinnie:** that is not a very exciting game

**minnie murder:** and also because you outted yourself as mafia before the game even started

**minnies jinnie:** the details arent important okay

**spearb:** is the 00 line chat okay

**minnies sungie:** no

**pussyluvr:** oof

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** it is once again night in hogwarts

**pussyluvr:** yall do ur thing

**minnies lixie:** all my friends are dying

**minnies lixie:** im the only 00 left alive

**minnies lixie:** but at least we didnt have to learn about blast ended skrewts again

**dad:** dinner was really good again

**dad:** im ready for a good nights sleep

**dad:** not hopeful of receiving it but

**dad:** im ready for it

**minnies sungie:** if you hear noises dont worry about it

**minnies sungie:** the ghosts are throwing a party and we got invited

**minnies sungie:** heard that those get kinda wild lol

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies sungie]**

**pussyluvr:** you need to eliminate felix

**minnies sungie:** alright

**minnies sungie:** but why

**pussyluvr:** hes the police and im sure he knows somethings up

**pussyluvr:** he guessed chan and jeongin

**pussyluvr:** but then seungmin and hyunjin died so theres nobody left to be mafia since its not him 

**pussyluvr:** not that it matters much since its basically the end of the game now but

**minnies sungie:** what if we keep him alive 

**minnies sungie:** someone could pin him as mafia

**pussyluvr:** omg

**pussyluvr:** he gets killed off for being the mafia

**minnies sungie:** im killing off jeongin

**minnies sungie:** i wanna watch the aussies fight

**pussyluvr:** perfect

**[private dm: minnies lixie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies lixie:** WHO IS IT

**minnies lixie:** did you lie to me

**minnies lixie:** you said it wasnt chris or jeongin

**minnies lixie:** so it HAD to have been seungming or hyunjin but they BOTH just died…

**pussyluvr:** (:

**minnies lixie:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** it is now morning again in hogwarts

**pussyluvr:** students are now not allowed to wander in the halls by themselves after yet another student was caught by the basilisk

**pussyluvr:** please may we have a moment of silence for slytherin jeongin

**dad:** …

**dad:** felix

**minnies lixie:** it isnt me

**minnies lixie:** ill say it right now

**minnies lixie:** i was the police okay

**dad:** so you know its not me then

**dad:** because its not me

**minnies lixie:** yeah i know its not you

**minnies lixie:** minho said it wasnt but i dont know if i can trust him

**baby:** i cant believe im dead

**baby:** im just a boy

**baby:** and why am i a slytherin

**pussyluvr:** i didnt have a slytherin death yet

**baby:** okay fair enough

**dad:** the people that know the mafia are being awfully quiet

**spearb:** because this is amusing

**minnies lixie:** DID I GET LIED TO

**pussyluvr:** i never lied to u

**minnies lixie:** how

**pussyluvr:** u never guessed the mafia

**minnies lixie:** everyones dead except chris and u told me he wasnt mafia

**minnies lixie:** so either u lied

**minnies lixie:** or the mafia is dead already and u just kept the game going

**minnies jinnie:** is this where it all falls apart

**dad:** i dont think we should play this game again

**dad:** and if we do minho definitely cant be narrator again

**pussyluvr:** hey

**pussyluvr:** i am a great narrator

**minnies lixie:** WHO is the mafia

**dad:** since u cheated and the game cant be won i wanna know too

**pussyluvr:** finish the game!

**minnie murder:** it was jisung

**minnies sungie:** HEY

**minnies sungie:** it was supposed to stay a secret

**minnies jinnie:** …

**minnies jinnie:** game over i guess

**dad:** pls explain

**minnies sungie:** i faked my death

**minnies sungie:** i wanted to score the perfect win

**minnies sungie:** i was only petrified by the basilisk

**minnies sungie:** not murdered

**minnies sungie:** i was never a ghost

**dad:** thats?? cheating?

**minnies lixie:** you know what

**minnies lixie:** i respect that

**minnies sungie:** i knew you’d understand, bro

**baby:** dang /:

**baby:** i really wanted to win

**minnies jinnie:** maybe next time!

**dad:** no next time omg

**dad:** i cant trust any of you with this game anymore

**spearb:** yeah thats probably for the best

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont think i like this chapter that much (': it was definitely rushed, esp the end but i just got really tired of sitting on it and wanted to get it out today.
> 
> i was writing this chapter as a mafia game before that skz video came out so when that did drop my brain spiked in motivation for this even though it still ended up not great (': hopefully well be back on track next update lmao
> 
> aand feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i do my best to follow everyone back and! i give out free minho hugs to all my new followers, so if that isnt reason enough to follow me idk what is. lets be moots!)  
> and! heres my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Iinohugs) if u want to leave me anything!


	6. redacted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan - dad  
> minho - pussyluvr  
> changbin - spearb  
> hyunjin - kendall/minnies jinnie  
> jisung - james/minnies sungie  
> felix - carlos/minnies lixie  
> seungmin - logan/seungmurderer/minnie murder  
> jeongin - baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!
> 
> texts in italics are in english

(december 18th)

**[private dm: minnies lixie and minnies sungie]**

**minnies lixie:** JISUNG

**minnies lixie:** DO U WANNA SEE A CUTE SQUIRREL

**minnies sungie:** SQUIRREL?????

**minnies sungie:** YES OBVIOUSLY

**minnies sungie:** PLS SHOW ME THE SQUIRREL

**minnies lixie:** okay maybe i lied 

**minnies lixie:** there is no squirrel

**minnies lixie:** i just wanted to have your attention for something

**minnies sungie:** damnit felix

**minnies sungie:** now im going to have to go look at pictures of squirrels or it’ll mess up my whole week

**minnies lixie:** sorry but this is more important than squirrels

**minnies sungie:** ???????

**minnies sungie:** there is nothing more important than squirrels

**minnies sungie:** i can’t believe you’d say that to me

**minnies lixie:** im so sorry of course 

**minnies lixie:** please forgive me 

**minnies sungie:** ….. FINE

**minnies sungie:** this better be for something actually important

**minnies lixie:** it is i promise

**minnies lixie:** i didn’t know who else to talk to about it

**minnies lixie:** but i trust you to give good... advice?

**minnies lixie:** plus you made the chat so i feel like you have some kind of sixth sense about everyone here

**minnies sungie:** i dont think thats how it works but okay

**minnies sungie:** ill do my best

**minnies lixie:** okay so like

**minnies lixie:** we never talked about it so i dont know if he wants people to know were doing it but

**minnies lixie:** but basically after we all shared instas chris slid into my dms like ‘yo do you live in sydney’ and i was like ‘yeah man’ and now were meeting up next week

**minnies lixie:** and like i told him it was cool, and it is!! im excited for it

**minnies lixie:** i trust him to be who he says he is but im still kinda nervous about it

**minnies lixie:** i really dont anything will go wrong but

**minnies lixie:** but i just cant shake the nerves even though im super excited and totally ready for it

**minnies sungie:** okay first of all

**minnies sungie:** who the fuck is chris

**minnies lixie:** … chan

**minnies sungie:** oh

**minnies sungie:** right

**minnies sungie:** i totally knew that

**minnies sungie:** absolutely

**minnies sungie:** anyways

**minnies sungie:** its totally okay to be nervous about meeting new people! its normal!

**minnies sungie:** nerves arent always a bad thing either. maybe its excited nerves!

**minnies sungie:** its good youre not worried about him not being who he says he is though

**minnies sungie:** bc i think hes he who he says he is too

**minnies sungie:** i think you all are

**minnies sungie:** but anyways its still totally okay to be nervous, and i dont think hell mind if youre nervous either. hes probably just as nervous as you are

**minnies lixie:** i knew you’d be good for this

**minnies lixie:** were going for laser tag and getting food

**minnies lixie:** so even if something fucky goes on at least we’ll be good 

**minnies lixie:** ahh i really am excited for this though

**minnies sungie:** good!! its so cool you guys live close enough to be able to meet like that

**minnies lixie:** it is! i knew we both lived in australia obviously but i thought we’d be in t o t a l l y different parts

**minnies lixie:** its like. fate or something

**minnies lixie:** do you think the ones in korea live near each other

**minnies sungie:** i wouldnt be surprised tbh

**minnies sungie:** god imagine if theyre meeting up too

**minnies lixie:** there is literally nothing i want to see more than a seungmin and changbin meetup

**minnies sungie:** omg

**minnies sungie:** OMG

**minnies sungie:** could you imagine

**minnies sungie:** i dont think they would though tbh

**minnies sungie:** not on their own at least

**minnies lixie:** yeah no itd definitely have to be a setup

**minnies lixie:** or like at least someone else would have to be with them

**minnies sungie:** theyre too in denial

**minnies sungie:** theyd never survive the winter

**minnies lixie:** natural selection is coming for them

**minnies sungie:** only the strong survive

**minnies lixie:** and theyre weak

**minnies sungie:** … for each other

**minnies lixie:** OOHHHHHHHH

**minnies lixie:** what’s their ship name

**minnies sungie:** changmin?

**minnies sungie:** no thats too close to changbin

**minnies sungie:** SEUNGBIN

**minnies lixie:** _ oh my god _

**minnies lixie:** thats perfect

**minnies sungie:** seungbin otp

**minnies lixie:** seungbin otp

**minnies sungie:** i bet changbin is like

**minnies sungie:** really short

**minnies lixie:** watch seungmin be like. super tall

**minnies lixie:** the height difference

**minnies sungie:** thats a Top Quality trope right there!

**minnies sungie:** superior trope detected!

**minnies lixie:** youre making it sound like were about to write fanfics for them sksksks

**minnies sungie:** well youre the one who brought up height differences

**minnies sungie:** are you sure youre not trying to write fanfics about them

**minnies lixie:** i mean

**minnies lixie:** they ARE otp…

**minnies lixie:** maybe i am trying to write fanfics for them

**minnies sungie:** okay whats our plot

**minnies sungie:** are we doing like. fake dating. enemies to lovers. royals. vampires. arranged marriage??

**minnies lixie:** what about… all of them

**minnies lixie:** royal seungmin x vampire changbin who cant stand each other but pretend to date to escape some arranged marriage situation

**minnies lixie:** better yet

**minnies lixie:** they get fake married to escape the arranged marriage situation

**minnies sungie:** omg

**minnies sungie:** YOUR M I N D

**minnies sungie:** next in line seungmin who has to get married before he’s set to take the throne. his parents let him have the option to find his own partner but if he doesnt find one in time his parent have full right to pick someone for him. its coming close to the deadline and seungmin is getting desperate. insert changbin. seungmin knows changbin from a late night walk in a sketchy forest when he was trying to escape his family issues. changbin hated him at first sight because he holds a grudge against the royal family for always trying to hurt him and his friends and threatens their safety. seungmin just doesnt like changbin because he finds his personality very offputting and also because changbin didnt like him first and seungmin is just petty. but seungmin is, again, very desperate and changbin is probably the only person who can really help him out. his parents dont really know him, definitely wouldnt approve of him, but would let it happen because of the deal they made. its beneficial for changbin too. if he marries into the royal he’s in a direct position to be able to help the supernatural community living in the area. its a win win for both of them. so they get fake married and then boom. kiss kiss fall in love.

**minnies lixie:** okay first of all

**minnies lixie:** nice ouran reference

**minnies lixie:** second of all

**minnies lixie:** HOLY SHIT

**minnies lixie:** thats perfect

**minnies lixie:** if thats not how they get together irl then i dont want it

**minnies sungie:** i like how were just assuming theyre gonna get together

**minnies lixie:** i mean

**minnies lixie:** is it a wrong assumption

**minnies sungie:** god i hope not

**minnies lixie:** imagine if they do just actually hate each other

**minnies sungie:** then that just means were one step closer to our fanfic into reality goals

**minnies sungie:** but theres no way they actually hate each other

**minnies lixie:** lmao youre so right

**minnies sungie:** of course i am

**minnies sungie:** of course i am, im always right

**minnies lixie:** yeah you keep telling yourself that bud

**sadpussy (8)**

**dad:** my children senses are tingling

**dad:** whos being a little shit

**pussyluvr:** dont swear in front of the baby

**baby:** shit

**minnies lixie:** look what you did

**minnies lixie:** you tained it

**baby:** did you just refer to me as an it

**minnies lixie:** and what about it

**baby:** nothing

**baby:** have a nice day

**baby:** or dont

**baby:** your choice

**minnies sungie:** why would some purposely choose to have a bad day

**spearb:** sometimes you just gotta

**dad:** no??????

**dad:** you really dont just gotta

**spearb:** sometimes. you. just. gotta.

**spearb:** its tiring having good days all the time

**spearb:** sometimes having a bad day is just refreshing

**minnie murder:** is your head okay

**minnies lixie:** omg seungmin you DO care

**minnie murder:** i literally could not care less if i tried

**minnies jinnie:** oh no! a lit has been detected! 

**baby:** its okay hes just a tsundere

**baby:** thats just his personality

**minnie murder:** /:

**minnies sungie:** no denials i see

**minnie murder:** the slanty face can be taken as a denial

**minnie murder:** youre just trying to see the things you want to hear

**minnies sungie:** all im hearing is that you redact about redacted because you redacted

**pussyluvr:** not this again

**minnies lixie:** we have things to say we cant say publicly

**dad:** are you talking about us

**minnies sungie:** of course not

**pussyluvr:** why dont i believe that

**minnies lixie:** jisung it totally trustworthy

**spearb:** why is that even less believable 

**minnie murder:** i dont redact redacted. and i dont have to redact redacted to redact about redacted anyways

**minnies jinnie:** wait

**minnies jinnie:** so you admit that you do redact about redacted

**minnie murder:** thats not what i said

**minnies sungie:** but you didnt deny it either

**minnie murder:** okay so what if i do

**minnie murder:** its normal to redact about your redacteds

**minnies lixie:** omg character development

**minnies lixie:** we love to see it

**dad:** every time the four of you interact my blood pressure raises and i can physically feel my hair turn grey

**dad:** please spare me

**dad:** its hard enough being a father without your antics 

**minnies sungie:** what do you mean

**minnies sungie:** were angles

**pussyluvr:** angles…

**minnies sungie:** shut up i meant angels

**minnies lixie:** ANGLES

**spearb:** i am so tired

**spearb:** you all exhaust me

**minnies sungie:** the feelings mutual, bitch baby

**spearb:** thats bitch baby HYUNG to you

**minnies sungie:** no

**pussyluvr:** lmao

**minnies sungie:** i only call people i respect hyung

**spearb:** do i mean nothing to you

**minnies sungie:** i would sell you to satan for a single corn chip

**spearb:** see if i chose to have a bad day that wouldnt have hurt my feelings because i would have already been sad

**dad:** still not a good enough reason to purposely have a bad day

**minnies sungie:** wait did i actually hurt your feelings

**spearb:** no

**minnies sungie:** are you sure

**spearb:** yes

**[private dm: minnies sungie and spearb]**

**minnies sungie:** are you really sure

**spearb:** yeah, man

**minnies sungie:** just because its fine doesnt mean i didnt hurt your feelings

**spearb:** okay, maybe you did a little bit

**spearb:** but it really is. im being a little irrational right now so its more on me than you

**minnies sungie:** dont put yourself down for having feelings

**minnies sungie:** do you wanna like

**minnies sungie:** talk about it or something

**spearb:** not really

**spearb:** if i talk about it now ill probably just end up making myself feel worse

**spearb:** plus this is the first time were talking alone so i dont want it to be super depressing lmao

**minnies sungie:** wait thats cute

**minnies sungie:** youre a whole softie

**spearb:** and what about it

**minnies sungie:** nothing!

**minnies sungie:** its a good thing!

**spearb:** if you say so

**minnies sungie:** i do say so

**minnies sungie:** and you should listen to me because im always right

**spearb:** i really really doubt that

**minnies sungie:** no really i am

**minnies sungie:** im like

**minnies sungie:** a genius

**spearb:** being a genius doesnt mean that youre always right

**minnies sungie:** yes?? it does

**spearb:** no?? it doesnt

**spearb:** it just means youre really smart

**spearb:** which i also doubt but

**minnies sungie:** i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

**minnies sungie:** i cant believe youd do this

**spearb:** oops

**minnies sungie:** but always

**minnies sungie:** i AM really smart which literally means im always right

**spearb:** that is not how that works at all

**minnies sungie:** how would you know

**minnies sungie:** youre not a genius

**spearb:** how do you know im not

**minnies sungie:** you dont have the vibes

**spearb:** what

**spearb:** theres literally no such thing as genius vibes

**minnes sungie:** ????

**minnies sungie:** yes there is

**minnies sungie:** like. when youre in the presence of a genius you just know

**spearb:** then how come you dont give off genius vibes

**minnies sungie:** your vibe meter is broken obviously

**spearb:** my vibe meter isnt broken youre just not a genius

**minnies sungie:** youre so cruel

**minnies sungie:** why dont you love me

**spearb:** i dont know you

**minnies sungie:** you know my name, what i look like, how old i am, where i live, what im studying…

**spearb:** whatever

**spearb:** weve still never like actually met before

**minnies sungie:** what

**minnies sungie:** and you cant care about people youve never met in real life?

**spearb:** i mean

**spearb:** sure you can

**spearb:** but its different, isnt it

**minnies sungie:** not really

**minnies sungie:** the only difference is its easier to care about people you know in real life

**minnies sungie:** online is a little more effort but definitely just as real and worth it

**spearb:** yeah alright

**minnies sungie:** so admit it

**minnies sungie:** u looooooooovvee meeeeee

**spearb:** i dont hate you

**minnies sungie:** ill take it

**sadpussy (8)**

**minnies sungie:** changbin hyung said he loves me yall

**minnies sungie:** who’s doing it like me

**minnie murder:** nobody wants to be doing like you

**spearb:** what do you have against my love

**pussyluvr:** everything

**minnies sungie:** idk man his love feels p nice

**minnies sungie:** like a warm hug

**baby:** too soft

**baby:** must eliminate

**minnies sungie:** nothing wrong with being soft, baby

**dad:** personally, i think its great you guys are getting along (:

**minnies lixie:** you would too

**minnies jinnie:** thats why hes called dad

**minnies jinnie:** because hes a dad

**pussyluvr:** daddy

**dad:** NO   
**dad:** NONE OF THAT

**minnies sungie:** papi?

**dad:** no

**minnies lixie:** father

**dad:** just dad is fine

**dad:** please just call me dad or my name

**dad:** stop tainting this wholesome name

**pussyluvr:** youre the one who’s taking it the wrong way

**minnies sungie:** yeah get your mind out of the gutter, man

**dad:** i am not wrong for thinking thats how you guys meant it

**dad:** youre all gross

**baby:** cant believe you just called your kids gross

**pussyluvr:** if i had feelings theyd be hurt

**minnies sungie:** disappointing father figures is my only talent

**minnies lixie:** thats depressing

**minnies sungie:** no its not i said i had a talent

**dad:** you dont disappoint me ))):

**minnies sungie:** pls it was just a joke

**dad:** ):

**minnies sungie:** (:!

**dad:** (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little shorter but i really wanted to get something out today so (: ill try to make the next chapter a little longer to make up for the shortness of this one lmao if i wasnt kinda busy the rest of the day id write more but )))): 
> 
> aand feel free to follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i do my best to follow everyone back and! i give out free minho hugs to all my new followers, so if that isnt reason enough to follow me idk what is. lets be moots!)  
> and! heres my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Iinohugs) if u want to leave me anything!


	7. changbins baby talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan - dad  
> minho - pussyluvr  
> changbin - spearb  
> hyunjin - kendall/minnies jinnie  
> jisung - james/minnies sungie  
> felix - carlos/minnies lixie  
> seungmin - logan/seungmurderer/minnie murder  
> jeongin - baby
> 
> chan and felix live in australia and jisung lives in malaysia. the rest still live in korea!
> 
> texts in italics are in english

december 19th

**cool kids (3)**

**dad:** so

 **dad:** i think it’s time to revisit the idea of a collab

**minnies sungie:** i agree!!

**spearb:** oh right

 **spearb:** almost forgot about that

**minnies sungie:** … 

**minnies sungie:** do we mean nothing to you

 **minnies sungie:** im so hurt

 **minnies sungie:** i thought we had smth special

**spearb:** i didnt say that

**minnies sungie:** you implied it

**spearb:** no?????

**minnies sungie:** its ok

 **minnies sungie:** ill get over this heartbreak eventually

 **minnies sungie:** someday

**spearb:** you're so dramatic

**minnies sungie:** u love it

**dad:** focus, children

**minnies sungie:** i was focusing!

 **minnies sungie:** on the fact that changbin hyung doesn’t care about us );

**dad:** why is it winking

**spearb:** oh so NOW its hyung

**minnies sungie:** maybe it just wants to wink

 **minnies sungie:** dont shame it

 **minnies sungie:** its always been hyung );

**spearb:** it definitely hasnt been

**minnies sungie:** )))))))))))))));

**spearb:** so what about the collab hyung

**minnies sungie:** wait no i have a question

 **minnies sungie:** a srs one

**spearb:** saying srs makes you seem less serious

**minnies sungie:** let me express myself how i want to

 **minnies sungie:** ));

**dad:** whats your question

**minnies sungie:** do u want us to call you chris or chan

**dad:** oh

 **dad:** i dont really mind either?

**minnies sungie:** okay cool

 **minnies sungie:** thanks

**spearb:** do you want us to call you hyung

 **spearb:** we have been but we never asked

 **spearb:** so

**dad:** if you want to!

**minnies sungie:** but we dont h a v e to?

**dad:** i dont think i like your tone

 **dad:** but i guess not?

**minnies sungie:** okay cool

 **minnies sungie:** thanks

**dad:** im a little concerned

**spearb:** you probably should be lmao

**minnies sungie:** rude

 **minnies sungie:** anyways my curiosity has settled for now

 **minnies sungie:** so we can talk about a collab now :D

**dad:** nice

 **dad:** anyways 

**dad:** 👉👈

**minnies sungie:** why the bottom fingers

**dad:** for once

 **dad:** do not taint this innocent conversation

 **dad:** please

 **dad:** just this once

 **dad:** it's all ill ever ask for

**minnies sungie:** ill try

**spearb:** i hate it here

**dad:** no you don't

 **dad:** anyways back to business

 **dad:** i was wondering if maybe

 **dad:** you might wanna call

 **dad:** 👉👈

**minnies sungie:** OMG YES

 **minnies sungie:** i wanna hear ur accent

**dad:** you only love me for my accent

 **dad:** i see how it is

**spearb:** do u need some aloe for that burn?

**dad:** ….

 **dad:** changbin i thought i could trust you

**spearb:** expect the unexpected, chanathan

**minnies sungie:** CHANATHAN

 **minnies sungie:** changbin hyung i could kiss you rn

**spearb:** please don't

**dad:** ah 

**dad:** saving your kisses for seungmin, huh

**spearb:** is this karma

**minnies sungie:** probably

 **minnies sungie:** worth it tho

**spearb:** yeah i agree

 **spearb:** but also yes i would enjoy calling

 **spearb:** this way i can add your voices to my proof that your not actually old pervs

**minnies sungie:** do seriously think we might be

 **minnies sungie:** bc ngl if u do ill be a little upset lmao

**spearb:** not really???

 **spearb:** but idk it's the internet

 **spearb:** you can never really be too sure

**dad:** fair

 **dad:** im a little nervous about the possibility too tbh but

 **dad:** i trust you guys so

**minnies sungie:** me too!!

 **minnies sungie:** i trust u all ):

**spearb:** this wasn't supposed to get deep

**dad:** right!!

 **dad:** so 

**dad:** you guys aren't busy right now or anything right

**minnies sungie:** nope

 **minnies sungie:** all free!

**spearb:** im free

**dad:** cool! ill call now!

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies jinnie]**

**pussyluvr:** so hhyunjjin

 **pussyluvr:** u free tomorrow

**minnies jinnie:** will you ever stop calling me that

 **minnies jinnie:** and yeah, mostly

 **minnies jinnie:** i have an 8am class but after that im free

**pussyluvr:** never

 **pussyluvr:** but cool

 **pussyluvr:** wanna grab coffee

 **pussyluvr:** what time is your class over?

**minnies jinnie:** coffee sounds good!

 **minnies jinnie:** class is out at 10

**pussyluvr:** do you wanna go straight from your class then

**minnies jinnie:** sure that sounds cool

 **minnies jinnie:** im glad its just a lecture lmao

 **minnies jinnie:** id hate to go anywhere after dance

**pussyluvr:** valid!

 **pussyluvr:** i hate doing anything after dance

**minnies jinnie:** same!

 **minnies jinnie:** it's so tiring

 **minnies jinnie:** i just wanna go back to my dorm and take a nap for a thousand years

 **minnies jinnie:** maybe eat some ice cream

**pussyluvr:** god that sounds so good rn

 **pussyluvr:** i could see definitely go for some ice cream and a nap rn

**minnies jinnie:** i was abt to ask if u wanted to get some ice cream and take a nap

 **minnies jinnie:** but i don't think we're on that level yet

**pussyluvr:** bold of u to assume i wouldn't have agreed smh

 **pussyluvr:** but agreed

 **pussyluvr:** we can save that for next time

 **pussyluvr:** well hang out after a dance class and go take a nap together

**minnies jinnie:** god amazing

 **minnies jinnie:** im already excited

**pussyluvr:** as u should be

 **pussyluvr:** im amazing company

 **pussyluvr:** that gives even more amazing cuddles

**minnies jinnie:** yes

 **minnies jinnie:** this is exactly the type of quality friendship i needed in my life

**pussyluvr:** all hail jisung

**minnies jinnie:** ALL HAIL JISUNG

 **minnies jinnie:** im glad he made the chat

 **minnies jinnie:** this is exciting

**pussyluvr:** it is

 **pussyluvr:** im having a great time

**minnies jinnie:** after out nap hangout we should see if anyone else wants to meet up

**pussyluvr:** ooo

 **pussyluvr:** im in

**minnies jinnie:** omg can we ask jeongin

**pussyluvr:** oh??

 **pussyluvr:** you seem excited

 **pussyluvr:** (;

**minnies jinnie:** of course im excited

 **minnies jinnie:** im excited to meet u too

**pussyluvr:** but not THAT kind of excited

**minnies jinnie:** i don't know if i like what you're implying

**pussyluvr:** oh i think u rlly like what im implying

**minnies jinnie:** i

 **minnies jinnie:** i think this was a mistake idk if i want to meet up anymore

**pussyluvr:** coward

 **pussyluvr:** well come back to this

**minnies jinnie:** i am

 **minnies jinnie:** mildly concerned for myself

**pussyluvr:** i repeat

 **pussyluvr:** coward

**sadpussy (8)**

**baby:** its been quiet here today

 **baby:** its kinda unnerving 

**minnies lixie:** ikr

 **minnies lixie:** i almost don't know what to do with myself when this chat is quiet

**minnie murder:** idk i kinda like the silence

**baby:** you would too

**minnie murder:** what's that supposed to mean

**minnies lixie:** it means ur boring seungmin

 **minnies lixie:** we've been over this already

**minnie murder:** am i not allowed to be boring

**baby:** there there

 **baby:** it's okay im boring too

**dad:** hey

 **dad:** love yourself

**baby:** im just self aware

**dad:** love.

 **dad:** yourself.

**minnies sungie:** oooo

 **minnies sungie:** daddy chanathans mad

**dad:** i have so many regrets 

**spearb:** would you prefer chrisathan

**minnies jinnie:** why chrisathan

 **minnies jinnie:** u could've said like

 **minnies jinnie:** christian

**spearb:** that's a real name

 **spearb:** defeats the purpose

**pussyluvr:** ….

 **pussyluvr:** what did i just read

**minnies lixie:** is this changbins crackhead awakening

**spearb:** i can only be on call with jisung for so long before all my braincells start to jump ship and abandon me

 **spearb:** i think they flew to australia to be with chan

**dad:** im just as drained as you okay

**minnies sungie:** when ur hyungs don't love u

 **minnies sungie:** </3

 **minnies sungie:** ive never felt this heartbroken

 **minnies sungie:** this devastated

 **minnies sungie:** i gave you all my love

 **minnies sungie:** i gave you god tier lyrics

 **minnies sungie:** i even called changbin hyung OUT LOUD

**minnies lixie:** it's ok sungie i love u

**minnies sungie:** ): thank u

 **minnies sungie:** im glad somebody does

**pussyluvr:** wait

 **pussyluvr:** you guys called?

**dad:** yeah!

 **dad:** we talked about a collab!

 **dad:** or well

 **dad:** that's what we were supposed to be doing

 **dad:** but we eventually got a bit off track

**spearb:** more like a lot off track

 **spearb:** jisung talks a lot

**minnie murder:** we know

**minnies sungie:** …

 **minnies sungie:** is today just bully jisung day

**baby:** everyday is bully jisung day

**minnies lixie:** </3

 **minnies lixie:** there there, sung

 **minnies lixie:** WAIT

 **minnies lixie:** SO YOU GUYS TO HEARD EACH OTHERS VOICES?????

**minnies sungie:** YES OMG

 **minnies sungie:** chan's accent is so nice, man

 **minnies sungie:** like 10/10 would listen to him talk forever

 **minnies sungie:** changbin is

 **minnies sungie:** interesting

**minnie murder:** define interesting

**minnies lixie:** it's redacted that redacted redacted how redacteds redacted redacted

**pussyluvr:** please

 **pussyluvr:** not this again

**dad:** interesting like

 **dad:** baby talk

**minnies lixie:** ….

**minnies jinnie:** what now

 **minnies jinnie:** i had to have read that wrong

**minnies sungie:** no you read right

 **minnies sungie:** baby talk

**dad:** his voice is very nice, honestly

 **dad:** id like to hear him voice an audiobook, really

 **dad:** but yeah

 **dad:** baby talk. lots of it

**minnies sungie:** it's so random too

 **minnies sungie:** it's cute though

**spearb:** [REST]

**minnies lixie:** SKSKSKSKSK

 **minnies lixie:** this is so amazing

**baby:** i wanna hear changbin hyung baby talk ):

**minnies sungie:** u do not

 **minnies sungie:** i promise

**pussyluvr:** you just said it was cute though

**minnies sungie:** it was

 **minnies sungie:** but that does not mean i want to hear it more

**dad:** i mean

 **dad:** i had a good time

**minnies lixie:** of course you did

 **minnies lixie:** you're dad

**dad:** what is that supposed to mean

**minnie murder:** that you love us all regardless of what we do

**baby:** unconditional love

**pussyluvr:** so

 **pussyluvr:** what does jisungs voice sound like

**dad:** deeper than expected ngl

 **dad:** but not like

 **dad:** deep deep

**spearb:** he's annoying

**minnies sungie:** thanks

 **minnies sungie:** thank you so much

**spearb:** <3

**minnies sungie:**..

 **minnies sungie:** <3 !

**minnies lixie:** this is a whole new side of changbin

 **minnies lixie:** idk what to do with it

**baby:** idk should we like

 **baby:** be worried

**spearb:** i told you

 **spearb:** jisung drained all my braincells

 **spearb:** he wouldn't stop fucking talking about why comic sans doesn't deserve the clowning it gets

**minnies jinnie:** okay but like

 **minnies jinnie:** i agree

**minnies lixie:** ^^^

 **minnies lixie:** comic sans deserves so much better

**pussyluvr:** comic sans is iconic

**minnies sungie:** im so glad u all agree

 **minnies sungie:** i might have had to seriously reconsider this friendship if u didn't

**pussyluvr:** im always on ur side, baby

**minnies sungie:** im glad somebody is </3

**minnies jinnie:** do felix and i mean nothing to you

**minnies sungie:** of course u do ):

 **minnies sungie:** ur my friends ):

**00 line best line (4)**

**minnies sungie:** but minho is my love interest

**minnie murder:** dear god

 **minnie murder:** i understand why changbin hyung loses braincells around u

**minnies lixie:** ah yes

 **minnies lixie:** changbin hyung

 **minnies lixie:** ur love interest

**minnie murder:** okay

**minnies jinnie:** wait is that you admitting it

**minnie murder:** no

 **minnie murder:** no it's just me trying to end this conversation

**minnies lixie:** we'll get him one day

**sadpussy (8)**

**minnies lixie:** in the face of redacted nothing is more redacted so obviously redacted redacted redacted

**baby:** is this not in the context of seungmin hyung this time

**dad:** why

 **dad:** this is so stressful

**spearb:** why is jisung getting redacted conversations now

 **spearb:** do you all just

 **spearb:** have a redacted

**minnies sungie:** everyone has a redacted 

**minnies sungie:** you have a redacted

**dad:** is it redacted

**minnies sungie:** probably

 **minnies sungie:** if ur talking abt how u said he was redacting his redacted for redacted

 **minnies sungie:** then yes :D

**dad:** i was!

 **dad:** okay i see why you do this now

 **dad:** it's very fun once you know what's going on

**baby:** i can't relate

**pussyluvr:** same

**minnies lixie:** get ur own redacteds then!

 **minnies lixie:** then we can talk abt them!

**pussyluvr:** …

 **pussyluvr:** i don't think that sounds very fun

**spearb:** it is not

 **spearb:** im sure it's fun for them but

**minnie murder:** being the one talked about is not very fun

**minnies sungie:** idk im kinda having a good time

**minnie murder:** you would

**baby:** okay

 **baby:** kinda off topic but

 **baby:** can we all call one day

 **baby:** maybe not like all together right away bc that sounds kinda chaotic

 **baby:** but idk i wanna call with some of you guys too

**pussyluvr:** agree!

 **pussyluvr:** i wanna party

**minnies lixie:** yes please omg

**minnies sungie:** omg we can hear lixies accent 

**dad:** what is it with you and accents

**minnies sungie:** am i not allowed to appreciate a bros nice accent?

**minnies lixie:** please appreciate my accent 

**baby:** we all will

**minnie murder:** do we have to

**minnies jinnie:** not if you don't want to

 **minnies jinnie:** were not gonna make you do things you're uncomfortable with

**minnie murder:** im not like

 **minnie murder:** uncomfortable

 **minnie murder:** ive just never done this sort of this before so i don't really know what to do

**baby:** that's okay! 

**baby:** i haven't either

 **baby:** most of us probably haven't 

**baby:** so we can figure it out together!

**dad:** yes!

 **dad:** you're definitely not alone in being new to this kinda thing

 **dad:** so whatever we can do to make each other more comfortable we'll do

**minnies sungie:** as the cinematic masterpiece high school musical once said

 **minnies sungie:** were all in this together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh this chapter is so weak. its also the shortest chapter yet lmao. sorry it took so long to update. ive been dealing with a lot lately so i just really havent been motivated to sit down and write a 3k chapter like usual. 
> 
> that being said though, i do wanna your opinions on something.  
> would you prefer the usual, longer updates with more time between updates  
> or  
> would you prefer much more frequent updates but with shorter chapters?
> 
> also, im sorry i havent been responding to comments lately. my anxiety has been super spiked lately and it's just a little hard to respond sometimes. ill try to respond more <3
> 
> follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i give free lino hugs to new oomfies, so even if u hate the fic, follow for that, i also always follow back)
> 
> and, drop something in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Iinohugs) if u want!!


	8. hyunho

december 20th

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies jinnie]**

**pussyluvr:** are u out of class yet

 **pussyluvr:** hyunjin

 **pussyluvr:** hyunjin

 **pussyluvr:** h

 **pussyluvr:** y

 **pussyluvr:** u

 **pussyluvr:** n

 **pussyluvr:** j

 **pussyluvr:** i

 **pussyluvr:** n

 **pussyluvr:** ill take this as a no

 **pussyluvr:** i hope ur sound is on

 **pussyluvr:** or at least ur vibrate

 **pussyluvr:** too cool for my dress

 **pussyluvr:** these shades dont leave my head

 **pussyluvr:** everything you say is so irrelevant 

**pussyluvr:** you follow and i lead

 **pussyluvr:** you want to be like me

 **pussyluvr:** but you just dont want to be loved and hated

**minnies jinnie:** …. 

**minnies jinnie:** really

 **minnies jinnie:** of all the songs

 **minnies jinnie:** u pick that one

**pussyluvr:** so what

 **pussyluvr:** it's a good song

 **pussyluvr:** i didnt even get to the chorus /:

**minnies jinnie:** oh poor u

 **minnies jinnie:** and just so you know

 **minnies jinnie:** my phone was on silent so u did all of that for nothing

**pussyluvr:** shame

 **pussyluvr:** anyways

 **pussyluvr:** location sent!

 **pussyluvr:** ill wait outside

 **pussyluvr:** in case u get confused, im the prettiest one (;

**minnies jinnie:** your ego is amazing

 **minnies jinnie:** but omw!

**pussyluvr:** i am pretty amazing huh

**minnies jinnie:** not what i said but!

 **minnies jinnie:** you think what you want to

**pussyluvr:** i dont see you denying it

**minnies jinnie:** im not confirming it either

**pussyluvr:** not confirming but not denying either is as good as confirming, hhyunjjin (;

**minnies jinnie:** im not answering anymore because im almost there

**pussyluvr:** and now youre avoiding the topic

 **pussyluvr:** wow i really am just the best

**minnies jinnie:** g o o d b y e

 **minnies jinnie:** but also hello bc i see u (:

**pussyluvr:** am i pretty

**minnies jinnie:** no

**pussyluvr:** ouch

♥️ 231 likes

**leeknow:** i GUESS theres room in the world for two pretty boys

**realjone:** UM

**lixiepixie:** HELLO??????

**thecb97:** what

♥️ 243 likes

**hhyunjjin:** send help he keeps making fun of my username

 **kseungmin:** okay but deserved

**innie:** i cant believe u guys met what

**spearb:** omg

**sadpussy**

**minnies lixie:** UM WHAT

 **minnies lixie:** HYUNJIN AND MINHO?? MET???

**minnies sungie:** i cant believe this

 **minnies sungie:** hyunjin having the AUDACITY to meet up with anyone besides 00 line first

**minnies jinnie:** well excuse me

 **minnies jinnie:** but you live in malaysia and felix lives in australia and seungmin seems like he wouldnt want to

 **minnies jinnie:** and minho hyung and i go to the same college and he probably wouldnt mind giving his bank info to someone if they asked

**pussyluvr:** in my defense

 **pussyluvr:** anyone who really wants to get my info wont even need me to willingly tell it to them

 **pussyluvr:** so why not have a good time and just give out my personal info u know

**dad:** that really is not a safe mindset

**pussyluvr:** are any of us ever really truly safe, chan.

**baby:** ominous! i love it!

**minnies sungie:** idk about felix but its not like ill be in malaysia forever

**pussyluvr:** wait you wont?

**minnies sungie:** no

 **minnies sungie:** im only studying here until this year ends

 **minnies sungie:** im finishing school in korea though so ill be back there by like. summer time probably

**minnies lixie:** aw man

 **minnies lixie:** that means chris and i are the only odd ones out /:

**baby:** u just have to run away and come live here

**spearb:** itd make making music a lot easier

**minnies sungie:** im gonna make changbin hyung hang out with me so much and were gonna make so much music

 **minnies sungie:** so chan u rlly should just run away and come live here

**minnie murder:** ur right i wouldnt want to

 **minnie murder:** sorry i only just read this chat

**minnies lixie:** jisung i am going to forget that u only care abt chris coming to korea for a second bc we rlly did get off topic omg

**dad:** so kids did u have fun

**pussyluvr:** ive had worse times

**minnies jinnie:** he had fun! we had fun!

**minnies sungie:** what did u do

**pussyluvr:** we just got coffee and chilled in the shop for a few hours

 **pussyluvr:** nothing super exciting

 **pussyluvr:** was alright though

 **pussyluvr:** hyunjins taller than expected

**minnies jinnie:** im not even that tall

 **minnies jinnie:** are u sure ur not just short

**pussyluvr:** not as short as changbin

**spearb:** you literally dont even know my height

**pussyluvr:** u just give off tiny vibes

**minnies lixie:** ASKSAKSKSKS

**minnies sungie:** oh my god

**minnie murder:** hyung do u need aloe for that burn

**spearb:** this house is a fucking nightmare

**baby:** <3

**dad:** <3

**minnies jinnie:** <3

**minnies lixie:** <3

**pussyluvr:** <3

**minnies sungie:** <3

**minnie murder:** <3

**spearb:** ….

 **spearb:** <3

**[** **private dm: minnies jinnie and minnies sungie]**

**minnies jinnie:** enjoy

**minnies jinnie:**

****

****

**minnies sungie:** OMHYGOSBSSGH

 **minnies sungie:** no hes so cute ehat

 **minnies sungie:** im goingtocry

**minnies jinnie:** (;

**minnies sungie:** HYUNJIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT  
> i know this is a shorter chapter, as i said i might start doing! i actually planned to have this be long and actually narrate the hyunho meeting but it just wasnt working out (but i do have some of that written, so maybe yall will get that as some bonus content eventually) which is why this took so long );
> 
> and, i dont know is anyones noticed, but woojin hasnt been included in my ao3 works at all so luckily i didnt have to do any editing like so many other people have! but, he did feature in some of my twit socmed aus (which i just entirely deleted) so.. idk maybe be on the lookout for a hyunsung fic from me soon ,, esp if u follow me on twit/read my hyunsung au.... wink wonk
> 
> follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Iinohugs) (i give free lino hugs to new oomfies, so even if u hate the fic, follow for that) and be my friend pls
> 
> and, drop something in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Iinohugs) if u want!!


	9. 4 kitties

december 21st

**[private dm: pussyluvr and minnies sungie]**

**pussyluvr:** look

**pussyluvr:**

**pussyluvr:** they're so cute

 **pussyluvr:** like me

**pussyluvr:**

**[private dm: minnies sungie and minnies lixie]**

**minnies sungie:** felix…

 **minnies sungie:** i need moral support

**minnies lixie:** why

 **minnies lixie:** what's happening

**minnies sungie:** minho sent pictures of his cats

 **minnies sungie:** and himself

 **minnies sungie:** felix he's so CUTE

 **minnies sungie:** so are his cats but

 **minnies sungie:** H I M

 **minnies sungie:** _sent a screenshot_

 **minnies sungie:** LIKE HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS

**minnies lixie:** u tell him u think he's cute

 **minnies lixie:** and then u tell him u think his cats are cute

 **minnies lixie:** then u ask what their names are

**minnies sungie:** their names are soonie doongie and dori

**minnies lixie:** he already told u?????

**minnies sungie:** no he said it in the gc when i first made it

**minnies lixie:** … i do not recall

 **minnies lixie:** but wow

 **minnies lixie:** u rlly pay attention to what he says huh 👀

**minnies sungie:** i think it was after you went to bed???

**minnies lixie:** oh yeah probably

 **minnies lixie:** i don't read up

**minnies sungie:** and shut up

 **minnies sungie:** he's a cute boy lix

 **minnies sungie:** obviously im gonna pay attention to him

**minnies lixie:** ha

 **minnies lixie:** gay

**minnies sungie:** like u can talk

**minnies lixie:** yeah yeah 

**minnies lixie:** less sulking more talking to ur cute boy

**minnies sungie:** HHHHHH

 **minnies sungie:** OKAY

**minnies lixie:** U GOT THIS

**[private dm: minnies sungie and pussyluvr]**

**minnies sungie:** cats!!

 **minnies sungie:** 4 cute kitties

**pussyluvr:** there's only three cats

**minnies sungie:**??? no?

 **minnies sungie:** u sent pics of four cats

 **minnies sungie:** the three from the first two pics

 **minnies sungie:** and then the one pic of the kitty that somehow figured out how to take selfies

**pussyluvr:** are

 **pussyluvr:** are you calling me a cat

**minnies sungie:** a cute cat!

**pussyluvr:** stop before i fall in love with u

**minnies sungie:** uwu

 **minnies sungie:** so which ones which

 **minnies sungie:** besides u

 **minnies sungie:** u said their names before but idk which is which

 **minnies sungie:** which is dori u said that's the baby

**pussyluvr:** omg u listen to me

 **pussyluvr:** pls take my hand in marriage

**minnies sungie:** i thought we already got married

**pussyluvr:** omg yeah you're right

 **pussyluvr:** so since you're my husband i guess it's only appropriate to learn who your daughters are

**minnies sungie:** i never thought id be a dad at 19 but i guess the world just works the way it wants to

**pussyluvr:** exactly

 **pussyluvr:** so the cute little gray baby is dori [:

 **pussyluvr:** and the orange one with the white nose is soonie

 **pussyluvr:** and the orange nose is doongie <333

**minnies sungie:** and soonie is the oldest right??

**pussyluvr:** ur making me swoon rn 

**pussyluvr:** yes!

**minnies sungie:** ah man

 **minnies sungie:** i really wanna meet them one day ):

**pussyluvr:** you said you'd be moving back to korea right?

**minnies sungie:** yup!

 **minnies sungie:** my dad is f i n a l l y moving back to korea for work so ill be back next school year!

 **minnies sungie:** we'll be moving in the summer next year? i think someone in like july

**pussyluvr:** when did you move there?

**minnies sungie:** about halfway through high school </3 

**minnies sungie:** so ive been here for about .. 3 ish years? now

**pussyluvr:** well. it's the responsible thing to do for a father to meet his children so

 **pussyluvr:** you should probably come see them when you move back 

**minnies sungie:** im violently crossing my fingers that the gc will stick together long enough to make it that long

 **minnies sungie:** because im so serious i really wanna meet ur cats

 **minnies sungie:** and hyunjins dog

 **minnies sungie:** and chanathans dog if that is ever possible

 **minnies sungie:** and seungmin

**pussyluvr:** are you calling seungmin an animal

**minnies sungie:** yes

**pussyluvr:** i l word you

**minnies sungie:** i l word u too!

 **minnies sungie:** i have a request tho

**pussyluvr:** what

**minnies sungie** : can i see another pic of the fourth kitty

 **minnies sungie:** he was extra cute 

**pussyluvr:** sure! he loved getting attention from boys that r also extra cute

**pussyluvr:**

**minnies sungie:** perfect

 **minnies sungie:** don't tell the girls but i think he's my favorite

 **minnies sungie:** im gonna give him so many pets

**pussyluvr:** shame

 **pussyluvr:** it's not good to pick favorites </3

 **pussyluvr:** (but he's really happy he's the favorite because you're his favorite too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: shorter chapters for more frequent updates!  
> also me: still takes 100 years to update
> 
> i know a few pictures arent working in the fic, ill go through and edit all of them tomorrow so hopefully they start working <3 i just do not have the patience to do that right now lol today was really not my day and i have a killer migraine so as soon as this chapter is posted i am going to s l e e p
> 
> but! i recently moved twitter accounts so u should definitely come follow me and be my friend and slide into my dms and ask me abt my plot ideas :D
> 
> follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO)  
> and, drop something in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Iinohugs) if u want!!


	10. on the road again

december 22nd

**00 line best line (4)**

**minnie murder:** im tired of these names

 **minnie murder:** can i change it

**minnies lixie:** but we have to match ):

**minnies sungie:** we can come up with new ones!

**minnies jinnie:** we could be the telletubbies

**minnies sungie:** yeah no thanks

 **minnies sungie:** those things were so creepy???

**minnies lixie:** CREEPY??

 **minnies lixie:** they were literally so cute

 **minnies lixie:** i liked tinky winky

**minnie murder:** no i get it

 **minnie murder:** i had nightmares about po

**minnies jinnie:** WHAt

**minnies sungie:** arent they like

 **minnies sungie:** 10ft tall

**minnies lixie:** i think only tinky winky

 **minnies lixie:** the rest are like 6ft i think

**minnies jinnie:** i repeat

 **minnies jinnie:** WHAt

**minnies sungie:** lol could u imagine being fucking 4ft taller than all ur friends

**minnies lixie:** i could never relate

**minnies jinnie:** maybe i can convince minho hyung to dress up as teletubbies with me for halloween

 **minnies jinnie:** ill be tinky winky and he can be one of the tiny ones

**minnie murder:** its december

**minnies sungie:** is

 **minnies sungie:** is he rlly that smol

**minnies jinnie:** i like planning ahead

 **minnies jinnie:** like u and jeongin and changbin could come too and one of u could be like

 **minnies jinnie:** the vacuum

**minnies lixie:** can changbin be the vacuum

**minnies sungie:** hyunjin pls

 **minnies sungie:** is he smol

**minnies jinnie:** i was thinking changbin too

 **minnies jinnie:** and yes he is

 **minnies jinnie:** tiny hands

**minnies lixie:** omg same hat

 **minnies lixie:** but were getting off topic 

**minnies lixie:** new names!

**minnie murder:** one direction

**minnies sungie:** but theres only four of us

**minnie murder:**.. yeah

 **minnie murder:** and theres only four of them

**minnies lixie:** i can nothandle this conversation again

**minnies sungie:** wait no i have an idea

 **minnies sungie:** im abt to blow u all away with this one

**minnies jinnie:** fun!

 **minnies jinnie:** can i be niall

**minnies lixie:** why

**minnies lixie:** he was my favorite

**minnies lixie:** i respect that

**[minnies sungie added minnies lixie, minnies jinnie, minnie murder, and baby to the chat]**

**baby:** oh worm?

**[minnies sungie set baby’s name to zayn]**

**[minnies sungie set minnies lixie’s name to harry]**

**[minnies sungie set minnies jinnie’s name to niall]**

**[minnies sungie set minnie murder’s name to liam]**

**[minnies sungie set their name to louis]**

**[louis set the group name to ‘on the road again’]**

**harry:** holy shit

**louis:** jeongin is zayn bc he’s part of the group in spirit only

**zayn:** im just happy to be included

**harry:** why am i harry

**louis:** bc i wanted to be louis bc he was my fav and ur my soulmate so ur harry

**liam:** please don’t tell me you’re a larrie

**louis:** oh god no

 **louis:** stan best friends

**niall:** why is seungmin liam

**louis:** bc he’s the ‘responsible’ one

**harry:** the daddy, if u will

**liam:** please don’t

**zayn:** youre really going to sit here and tell me you didnt ship larry at least a little bit at some point

**liam:** listen

 **liam:** we’ve all made mistakes okay

**harry:** exactly

 **harry:** own up to them

 **harry:** i thought larry was cute but i was always more into narry 

**zayn:** valid

**niall:** i liked ziam

**louis:** i definitely shipped larry

 **louis:** but i wasn’t A Larrie u know

**harry:** i think we need more opinions

**zayn:** i think youre right

**sadpussy (8)**

**harry:** guys

 **harry:** what was your 1d otp

**spearb:** who are you

**niall:** thats felix

**pussyluvr:** is louis jisung then

**louis:**!!!!!!

 **louis:** yes!

**dad:** literally how did you know that

**pussyluvr:** larry jilix soulmates

**liam:** a match made in heaven, truly

**dad:** who’s that

**liam:** seungmin

**spearb:** that fits

**zayn:** doesnt it though

**dad:** i thought zayn wasn’t in the group anymore

**pussyluvr:** oh

 **pussyluvr:** is that jeongin

**louis:**!!!

**spearb:** how

**pussyluvr:** 00 line always match

 **pussyluvr:** but they refuse to think of one direction as 4

 **pussyluvr:** jeongin isnt an 00 line but hes still baby line

 **pussyluvr:** in the group but also not in the group at the same time

**niall:** do you and jisung just share a brain or

**pussyluvr:** it’s what happens when you get married

 **pussyluvr:** but anyways i shipped larry

 **pussyluvr:** not creepy about it though

 **pussyluvr:** i had a weak spot for ziall though

**harry:** i literally can’t handle this 

**harry:** i feel like i just had this entire conversation twice

**zayn:** because we literally did

**spearb:** i didnt have an otp

**niall:** thats so disappointing 

**niall:** i cant believe redacted has a redacted on redacted when redacted doesnt even redacted

**dad:** please not more of this

**spearb:** okay i know that one was about me

**louis:** u have 0 proof

**zayn:** wait if im getting pulled into this does that mean i get to know what all the redacteds mean

**liam:** no

**harry:** yes!

**zayn:** i will take that as a yes

 **zayn:** somebody fill me in

**spearb:** pls share ur knowledge

**zayn:** no </3

**on the road again (5)**

**niall:** ‘i cant believe seungmin has a crush on changbin when changbin doesnt even care enough about one direction to have an otp’

**zayn:** thats a lot more words than you said before

 **zayn:** but oh worm did he talk abt his crush to you guys too

**louis:** TOO????/

 **louis:** he TALKED to you??

**liam:** i did not

**zayn:** you kind of did

**harry:** either way

 **harry:** we are all very aware of seungmins crush

**liam:** i dont even have a crush

 **liam:** can we please drop this dumb joke already

**niall:** youre not actually upset are you

**liam:** i mean? kind of

 **liam:** i keep saying i dont have a crush and you all just keep making a joke about it

 **liam:** even if i did like him it’s kind of embarrassing to have all of you putting it all out on the table like that

 **liam:** not all of us are jisungs who dont care about spilling their guts to anyone that walks about the fat crush he has on a guy he’s never actually met

**louis:** okay now this just feels like a personal attack

 **louis:** and i do care? i talk about it because i trust you guys

**liam:** well maybe you shouldnt since it doesnt seem like anyone here actually cares about other peoples privacy

 **liam:** how can you trust people youve never met like that

**louis:** okay

**zayn:** is this really still bothering you

 **zayn:** that we dont all actually know each other

**liam:** yes

 **liam:** im trying to be fine with it because everyone else is but i just cant be

**niall:** okay

 **niall:** would it make you feel better to meet up then

 **niall:** bc ive already met minho i dont mind meeting you too

 **niall:** so you can meet me and trust me and take my word for him

 **niall:** or meet him too idk

 **niall:** he wouldnt care

**zayn:** id go too if you want

**liam:** i just admit to not trusting you and you want to meet up

**niall:** yeah

 **niall:** youre upset because you cant trust us without actually knowing us so

 **niall:** come meet up and know us

**harry:** what are jisung and i supposed to

 **harry:** jisung said in sadpussy he’d be back in korea at some point but

 **harry:** idk if ill ever actually get to go

**liam:** its okay

 **liam:** i think id feel better about you guys after meeting a few of you

 **liam:** idk though im really not comfortable with meeting up yet though

**zayn:** thats okay!

 **zayn:** this is all about making sure youre comfortable 

**zayn:** and if it takes you a little bit to get comfortable then thats okay

**niall:** yeah! just because some of us dont care about the potential threat of death doesnt mean were going to force you to be the same

 **niall:** and if you never want to meet then thats okay too

 **niall:** sad, but okay

**harry:** i hope one day ur comfy enough to meetup with the others and that i eventually get to come meet u too bc u look like u give good hugs

 **harry:** and were sorry about always teasing u about the crush thing

 **harry:** we’ll knock it off, promise

**niall:** yeah! 

**zayn:** yeah! x2

**liam:** thanks

 **liam:** sorry for snapping.

**harry:** its okkkk <33

**zayn:** this is not what i expected when i asked for a redacted translation 

**zayn:** but im glad it happened

**harry:** same

 **harry:** i feel good knowing we can talk about that kinda stuff

**liam:** me too

**sadpussy (8)**

**dad:** so

 **dad:** i shipped niam

**pussyluvr:** thats great, chan

 **pussyluvr:** boring, but great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. a faster update this time!
> 
> we got ,, a little angsty this chapter that is,,,, probably gonna carry on a bit into at least the next chapter! fun!  
> and i went through and fixed the pictures that werent showing in a few chapters so i hope they work now! if not, let me know <3
> 
> again though,,, i moved twit accs recently so pls come be my friend! come into my dms and ask abt future plots or tell me which fruit ud like to be reincarnated as [:  
> follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO)
> 
> and, drop something in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO) if u want!!


	11. a, b, c, or d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay quick reminder
> 
> chan: dad  
> minho: pussyluvr  
> changbin: spearb  
> hyunjin: niall  
> jisung: louis  
> felix: harry  
> seungmin: liam  
> jeongin: zayn
> 
> chan, felix - australia  
> minho, changbin, hyunjin, seungmin, jeongin - korea  
> jisung - malaysia
> 
> italics are english!

december 23rd

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** when u encounter a spider are u the kind of person that

**pussyluvr:** a. runs and screams for someone else to kill it

**pussyluvr:** b. kills it

**pussyluvr:** c. scoops it up and takes it outside

**pussyluvr:** or d. leaves it alone and lets it do its thing and thinks of it as a new friend

**dad:** c

**niall:** a

**zayn:** b

**spearb:** depends how i feel

**niall:** suddenly i am mildly afraid of changbin

**harry:** im also definitely a /:

**liam:** b

**dad:** how can you be afraid of changbin when people like jeongin and seungmin exist

**dad:** how can you just kill it without feeling bad

**liam:** its gonna die eventually anyways

**niall:** youre a monster

**niall:** thats like saying you shouldnt feel bad about murder bc the person is just going to die anyways

**zayn:** i mean

**dad:** for my sanity please dont finish that thought

**liam:** ill finish it instead

**liam:** youre not wrong its the same idea

**liam:** people are going to die eventually so really whats the issue? 

**liam:** it about your morals, and i think its safe to assume most people hold human life in higher regard than spiders lives

**liam:** unless youre chan, apparently, and probably think all life is equally important

**liam:** so you should feel bad about murder

**harry:** and you shouldnt feel bad about spider murder?

**liam:** i already said it depends on your morals

**zayn:** yeah

**zayn:** like chan cares about life so he’d feel bad

**zayn:** but i dont really care about spiders or what happens to them

**zayn:** so i wouldnt feel bad

**pussyluvr:** humans killing spiders isnt even murder anyways

**dad:** so youre saying that spiders are less important lifeforms than humans

**zayn:** yes

**zayn:** but thats just my opinion based on my morals

**spearb:** i think the people we should really worry about are the people who are option d

**pussyluvr:** i bet jisung is a d person

**harry:** youre probably right and thats terrifying 

**niall:** how can you just be okay with having a spider roommate 

**niall:** i dont even like being in the same room that a spider was in even after its gone

**dad:** wait minho which are you

**pussyluvr:** b, mostly

**pussyluvr:** sometimes d

**spearb:** this chat is nothing but murderers, crybabies, weirdos who like spiders for company, and chan

**dad:** you know what

**dad:** ill take it as a compliment that i didnt get called some weird name so

**dad:** thank you

**pussyluvr:** youre boring but youre a good person

**dad:** there it is

**dad:** still taking it as a compliment

**spearb:** it was meant as one

**harry:** speaking of jisung though

**harry:** he hasnt said anything today ):

**harry:** i miss him

**dad:** have u tried to message him?

**harry:** ..

**harry:** no

**harry:** sometimes i forget tthats a thing

**harry:** im too used to the gcs

**niall:** okay but really same

**dad:** i dont think ive ever messaged any of you one on one

**zayn:** .. 

**zayn:** dad

**zayn:** thats so sad

**dad:** i dont mind!

**dad:** i like talking to u all at once

**pussyluvr:** too soft n sweet

**pussyluvr:** i think i need to go the dentist

**[private dm: harry and louis]**

**harry:** jisung

**harry:** jisuuuuuung

**harry:** sungie 

**harry:** )):

**harry:** i miss uu

**harry:** whyre u so quiet today

**harry:** _ i need my twin back _

**harry:** _ im lost without u _

**sadpussy (8)**

**dad:** what

**dad:** its true

**niall:** u should probably go to the dentist anyways

**pussyluvr:** are u trying to tell me something

**pussyluvr:** are my teeth ugly hyunjin

**niall:** NO

**niall:** u have very pretty teeth i promise

**niall:** dentist appointments are just good have regularly

**zayn:** hes not wrong

**zayn:** i have to go to the dentist soon

**harry:** guys ):

**harry:** hes not answering ):

**dad:** do u want us to try?

**harry:** pls

**spearb:** got it

**niall:** okay

**[priavte dm: dad and louis]**

**dad:** omg my first dm

**dad:** i wish it was for a better reason but

**dad:** or it could be for a good reason

**dad:** we can talk abt whatever u want to

**dad:** like music!

**dad:** no?

**dad:** okay 

**dad:** text back soon ):

**dad:** the kids and i miss u

**dad:** especially felix

**[private dm: niall and louis]**

**niall:** hi are u alive

**niall:** i hope so

**niall:** id miss u if u died

**niall:** so dont do that

**niall:** ur not gonna answer huh /:

**niall:** that ok i hope ur okay too

**niall:** talk to u later ily

**niall:** <3

**[private dm: spearb and louis]**

**spearb:** hey

**louis:** hey

**spearb:** oh

**spearb:** i didnt expect you to answer

**louis:** why wouldnt i

**spearb:** because you didnt answer felix and nobody else said u answered them so

**louis:** ah right

**louis:** i didnt wanna answer felix or hyunjin because theyre too close to whats going on 

**louis:** and im overthinking things too much and i just dont feel comfy opening up the door for them right now

**louis:** and chans just too caring u know

**louis:** like he’d take my issue and make it his and i dont wanna make him upset

**spearb:** so theres something wrong

**louis:** yeah i guess so

**spearb:** do you wanna talk about it

**spearb:** im guessing u answered me for a reason

**louis:** yeah actually

**louis:** i think youre the best person to talk about it with really

**spearb:** lay it on me then

**louis:** last night in the otra chat we were talking and seungmin got kinda upset bc hes not really comfortable with us or this entire thing yet 

**louis:** and he sounded really stressed and upset

**louis:** because we were teasing him about something and he didnt like it

**louis:** and then he made a dig at me and idk im kinda taking it to heart

**louis:** or i guess he didnt really but i took it that way and i just cant stop thinking about it and overthinking the entire situation

**spearb:** what’d he say?

**louis:** something about how not everyone is like me who doesnt care about spilling my guts about personal things to anyone who walks 

**louis:** so i said i did care but i just trusted them to talk openly about things?

**louis:** and then he said i shouldnt trust them bc he doesnt think anyone respects anyones privacy and will just air out the others dirty laundry without a care

**louis:** because he thinks you cant trust people you havent actually met

**louis:** and i didnt even say anything really personal either

**louis:** it was just stuff about minho /:

**louis:** but i cant help but let him actually get to me you know

**louis:** because its not like hes totally wrong

**louis:** like i dont actually know you guys

**louis:** i dont even really have the option to either yet

**spearb:** are you thinking you cant trust us with stuff?

**louis:** maybe? i dont know

**louis:** i dont have any reason not to trust you

**louis:** but i guess i dont have much reason to trust you either

**spearb:** and you think actually meeting us would let you know one way or the other

**spearb:** i was hesitant at first about this whole thing at first but ive been thinking about it

**spearb:** real life isnt really all that different than online i guess

**spearb:** like meeting and knowing people in real life doesnt somehow make them more trustworthy

**spearb:** even when you know people you always actually know them, you know?

**louis:** i guess youre right

**louis:** its just 

**louis:** idk he made me second guess myself a bit and the connections ive been making with you guys

**spearb:** by connections do you mean whatever you were saying about minho

**spearb:** wink

**louis:** first of all i cant believe you actually just typed out wink

**spearb:** i didnt feel like finding the emoji

**louis:** second of all

**louis:** yes now shut up

**spearb:** no no tell me ur secrets

**spearb:** nobody else ever does

**louis:** i cant believe ur trying to make me pity u into telling u my secret that im sure u already know

**louis:** which i guess does just kind of proves seungmins point

**spearb:** it doesnt prove his point

**spearb:** it proves yours

**spearb:** you talk about your crush on minho because you trust us

**louis:** listen

**louis:** i dont think its a Crush crush ok

**louis:** i just think hes cute and nice to interact with and he has cats and i wouldnt mind maybe holding his hand

**spearb:** so u like him

**louis:** no

**louis:** maybe

**spearb:** and im guessing you think thats a bad thing since you dont actually know him

**louis:** yeah..

**louis:** what u said already is reassuring its just

**louis:** my brain isnt always very nice to me sometimes?

**louis:** and even still i havent even known any of u for two weeks yet and we still all dont really know each other even by online standards?

**spearb:** thats fair

**spearb:** maybe you could try and get to know him more?

**spearb:** like put in more of an effort because i think the rest of us arent doing a bad job working to know each other

**louis:** i think were doing good too

**louis:** and maybe idk

**louis:** i think i just wanna sit on things for a while and just let time do its things and see where things go

**spearb:** that sounds like a plan

**spearb:** can i tell the others we talked or do u want me to act like u ignored me too

**louis:** no u can tell them

**louis:** i dont wanna make ppl worry or anything by being vague

**spearb:** understandable

**sadpussy (8)**

**spearb:** talked to jisung

**harry:** !!!! 

**harry:** is he okay

**louis:** im good lol

**louis:** just caught up in some shit

**louis:** nothing to worry about i promise <3

**niall:** u didnt anwer me ):<

**louis:** im sorry ]]]:

**louis:** changbin hyungs chats was at the top so i just answered him and then here

**dad:** text me back 

**dad:** i lost my dm virginity to u 

**dad:** i dont want this to feel like a one night stand with a guy who’s never gonna call me back

**pussyluvr:** sounds kinda personal

**pussyluvr:** u okay there bud

**dad:** sorry

**dad:** ive been reading this fic thats just kinda angsty

**zayn:** omg chan reads fics

**louis:** are u saying u dont

**zayn:** no i definitely do

**zayn:** i just didnt expect chan to

**harry:** chris

**harry:** what are u reading

**dad:** an iwaoi fic!

**louis:** the taste u have

**louis:** chefs kiss

**harry:** i was always more of a kagehina person

**zayn:** why are we talking about otps again

**zayn:** first one direction and now anime

**louis:** theyre important topics

**pussyluvr:** i think a more important topic is

**pussyluvr:** are u a kinnie

**spearb:** this chat was a mistake

**pussyluvr:** you were a mistake

**niall:** ou ch

**liam:** i liked yamaguchi

**harry:** is that u answering for otp or kin

**liam:** neither

**liam:** i just liked yamaguchi

**pussyluvr:** seungmin is a yamaguchi kin

**zayn:** i can see it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand here we are! some more angst! idk how i feel about the pacing of this chapter but im a little pressed for time andi wanted to post today while i had the motivation to so it is what it is!!
> 
> and, i was wondering if anyone would be interested in joining a discord server if i made one? somewhere to just generally talk about stray kids (or other groups too) and maybe get spoilers/sneakpeaks for this fic or other works of mine? idk jsut somewhere to have a good time bc my discord app is truly just collecting dust bc i never use it and i think it could be fun to do esp bc i havent been in or made a server in forever and i miss it lmao!! (if ur interested u should totally dm me on twit to give me ideas for setup of a server bc i dont want it to be boring lol)
> 
> but! as always  
> follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO) and be my friend pls  
> and, if u want, leave me smth on my [CC!](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO)


	12. chanlix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember italics are english (:

****

**❤** **214**

**lixiepixie:** :D

**realjone:** omg its happening nobody panic

**leeknow:** hot

**hhyunjjin:** hello what

**cb97:** i had fun!

**sadpussy (8)**

**niall:** how come u two didnt say u were meeting each other ):

**harry:** hyunjin u literally cant talk

**harry:** you literally didnt say anything about meeting minho either

**pussyluvr:** he’s got a point

**louis:** u guys are cute!!!

**louis:** tell me abt it ):<

**dad:** we went to laser tag!

**dad:** and then went to this little diner for food

**dad:** and got ice cream

**dad:** well i got a smoothie

**dad:** felix got ice cream

**harry:** mint choco!

**louis:** ily

**harry:** ily2!

**zayn:** okay but

**zayn:** what are the details here

**zayn:** like about each other

**zayn:** is chan tall and way too buff like ive been expecting him to be

**pussyluvr:** is felix tiny enough to fit in your pocket

**chan:** yes

**chan:** he is very small, could fit right in the palm of your hand

**chan:** the palm of his hands

**chan:** felix has really small hands

**niall:** omg he can join minho in the small hands club

**pussyluvr:** literally shut up

**pussyluvr:** felix come over rn so we can compare hand sizes

**harry:** omg

**harry:** im omw rn have ur door open

**pussyluvr:** no

**pussyluvr:** its dangerous to leave your door unlocked

**pussyluvr:** ill leave my window open though so you can just climb in

**spearb:** isnt it just as bad to leave your window unlocked?

**pussyluvr:** no?

**pussyluvr:** people dont expect the windows

**liam:** yes they do

**liam:** people break in through windows all the time

**zayn:** can we get back to me now

**zayn:** felix

**zayn:** is chan tall and buff

**harry:** no

**harry:** well hes kinda buff

**harry:** but hes not really that tall

**dad:** </3

**dad:** its true

**pussyluvr:** its okay 

**pussyluvr:** short guys can still be daddy material

**niall:** youre only saying that to make yourself feel better about being short

**dad:** please never say those words to me again

**louis:** what abt papi material

**dad:** please

**dad:** spare me

**dad:** i already said just say my name or use dad

**louis:** ok party pooper

**louis:** tongue sticking out emoji

**spearb:** did you just type out an emoji name

**louis:** yes i did

**louis:** what about it

**louis:** normalize writing out emoji names instead of using the emoji

**niall:** agreed

**niall:** where’s the petition

**niall:** ill sign

**zayn:** who do u think is the tallest here

**pussyluvr:** not changbin

**spearb:** i hate it here

**spearb:** i really do

**louis:** no u dont!

**spearb:** peace sign emoji

**louis:** !!!!

**harry:** idk minho said hyunjin was tall so

**harry:** he’s my bet for now

**harry:** until we get more info

**zayn:** watch changbin hyung surprise us all and be the tallest

**louis:** id actually cry

**liam:** im pretty tall

**harry:** but are you hyunjin tall

**liam:** how am i supposed to know

**pussyluvr:** guess seungmin and hyunjin need to meet up so someone can assert their dominance

**pussyluvr:** im team hyunjin

**liam:** no

**liam:** but also, rude

**louis:** jeongin gives tall baby vibes

**louis:** like u wouldnt expect him to be tall bc hes so babie but thats the point

**louis:** u dont expect it

**louis:** it just Is

**dad:** that makes too much sense

**harry:** omg jeongin tallest

**harry:** how cool would that be

**harry:** being the youngest but then being the tallest

**zayn:** i doubt im the tallest

**pussyluvr:** so then

**pussyluvr:** its hyunjin vs seungmin vs jeongin

**pussyluvr:** pick ur teams

**pussyluvr:** im still hyunjin

**louis:** hm

**louis:** ill go jeongin

**niall:** jeongin

**liam:** hyunjin

**harry:** jeongin !

**dad:** seungmin

**spearb:** seungmin

**zayn:** hyunjin

**pussyluvr:** looks like we have a tie

**pussyluvr:** seems like only time will tell

**harry:** what if minho is just extra short so it just seems like hyunjin is really tall but hyunjin is actually short

**harry:** omg what if were all taller than hyunjin

**harry:** except minho

**pussyluvr:** hey now

**pussyluvr:** i am perfectly average sized

**niall:** its true

**niall:** he is average

**louis:** hes not changbin

**spearb:** can i breathe

**louis:** no

**dad:** honestly

**dad:** after talking to changbin on the phone i can definitely believe he’s tiny

**dad:** jisung sounds like he’d be kinda large too but

**dad:** i just cant actually picture that

**niall:** so ur all just shorties

**niall:** is what im hearing

**pussyluvr:** you arent even that much taller than i am

**pussyluvr:** youre average too dont act like you superior

**niall:** jealousy doesnt look good on u

**louis:** calm down ladies

**louis:** youre both very pretty

**liam:** it just sounds like were all pretty average

**liam:** does it really matter who’s the tallest

**harry:** what 

**harry:** do u not want tallest bragging rights??

**liam:** not really

**liam:** seems like something kinda pointless to brag about

**spearb:** id like tallest bragging rights

**zayn:** too bad youll never have them <3

**spearb:** one of these days i will leave and you will all be sorry

**louis:** luv u hyung

**spearb:** ..

**spearb:** you too or whatever

**[private dm: harry and louis]**

**harry:** _ jisung _

**louis:** yes hi

**harry:** _ chris is so cute im _

**harry:** _ HIS LAUGH _

**harry:** HE HAS DIMPLES

**louis:** DIMPLES   
**louis:** _ does he give good hugs _

**louis:** _ you were hugging in you insta post _

**harry:** _ his hugs are so good you dont even know _

**harry:** _ they feel like they could keep u safe from all the bad things _

**louis:** oh my god

**louis:** thats so cute omg

**louis:** did you guys make anymore plans

**harry:** not yet

**harry:** ill text him at some point though

**harry:** bc it was really fun and hes fun and itd be cool to hang out more

**louis:** i cant wait to move back to korea

**louis:** _ i want to meet you guys so bad _

**harry:** i wanna meet you too )):

**harry:** _ i really hope that we can one day _

**harry:** like me and u

**harry:** and u and chris too

**louis:** _ it feels so impossible to meet you two _

**louis:** i hope its not though

**harry:** it wont be!

**harry:** ill make sure of it!

**louis:** <3

  
**harry:** <3!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FUN STUFF  
> once again, i might eventually write out the chanlix meeting! big maybe who knows, i definitely dont (:
> 
> but anyways, i hope u enjoyed, as usual idk how 2 feel about this chapter but it is what it is in the end and i wanted to make sure to get an update up today so here i am
> 
> aaand announcement time! as i said i might i made a DISCORD SERVER! its a bit of a combo of a place for me to talk about my work, give future chapter/work spoilers/sneakpeaks, talk about plots (mine and for u to talk about urs too!) and just a general hangout server to just bullshit around in with other stays! so u should definitely come join (:
> 
> come follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO)  
> join the [discord!](https://discord.gg/HuAXqAN)  
> drop sometime into my [CC!](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO)


	13. quality dad time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember, italics are english!

**[private dm: dad and pussyluvr]**

**dad:** hello minho!

**pussyluvr:** hi daddy

**pussyluvr:** what's up

**dad:** i am already regretting this

**pussyluvr:** sure u are

**pussyluvr:** nobody regrets being in my presence

**dad:** you're so humble

**pussyluvr:** ikr

**pussyluvr:** anyways

**pussyluvr:** really what's up

**pussyluvr:** to what do i owe the pleasure of u opening the real sadpussy chat

**dad:** i really don't like that you made me read that

**dad:** but

**dad:** after meeting felix it just kind of got me thinking?

**dad:** it was nice getting to know him better one on one

**dad:** and since i can't physically meet the rest of you..

**dad:** i figured it'd be nice to just

**dad:** message everyone individually and talk a bit

**pussyluvr:** you're gonna make me feel guilty about being weird now

**pussyluvr:** that was so wholesome

**dad:** omg no

**dad:** please don't feel bad about being yourself !!! 

**pussyluvr:** i knew you loved being called daddy

**dad:** nevermind

**dad:** please feel bad

**pussyluvr:** nope!

**pussyluvr:** you've already reassured me that this is perfectly fine!

**pussyluvr:** you can't take it back now!

**dad:** why are we here just to suffer

**pussyluvr:** the universe gets amusement out of our failure

**pussyluvr:** were all her foolish puppets putting on a show for her

**dad:** i don't like the seriousness of that answer

**pussyluvr:** you don't like a lot of things do you

**dad:** incorrect! 

**dad:** i like a lot of things

**dad:** like music and you guys

**pussyluvr:** i do not understand how people like you exist 

**pussyluvr:** you're so soft and shameless

**dad:** is that a good thing

**pussyluvr:** yes

**pussyluvr:** just weird

**dad:** you're not really the best at compliments are you

**pussyluvr:** no i am not

**dad:** you're doing great, sweetie

**pussyluvr:** thanks daddy [:

**dad:** …

**dad:** just this once

**dad:** ill allow it

**pussyluvr:** :D !

**pussyluvr:** i knew you were coming around

**pussyluvr:** nobody can't resist me for long

**dad:** and you dare call me shameless

**dad:** are you sure you know what that word means

**pussyluvr:** yes

**pussyluvr:** it means you have no shame

**pussyluvr:** which you do not

**pussyluvr:** you're very soft and do not bother hiding it

**dad:** why would i bother hiding it

**pussyluvr:** dignity

**dad:** what?

**dad:** it's not like you suddenly lose your dignity by being soft

**pussyluvr:** you do if you have a reputation

**dad:** i really don't think that's how it works

**pussyluvr:** sure it is

**pussyluvr:** but you have a reputation for being soft

**pussyluvr:** so it's different for u

**dad:** i really dont think so

**dad:** what kind of reputation do you have then

**pussyluvr:** well personally id like to think im a cool guy

**pussyluvr:** but that's a subjective opinion

**pussyluvr:** i can't objectively think about my own reputation because im biased

**dad:** it really catches me off guard when you bust out logic

**pussyluvr:** please christopher

**pussyluvr:** im much more than just a pretty face

**dad:** what

**dad:** i know

**dad:** i didn't mean it like that

**dad:** you're very smart 

**pussyluvr:** i know (;

**pussyluvr:** but thanks for agreeing that im pretty

**dad:** i walked right into that didn't i

**pussyluvr:** you absolutely did

**pussyluvr:** you make it so easy

**dad:** i know 😔

**pussyluvr:** not a bad thing!

**pussyluvr:** i am having a great time

**pussyluvr:** i love getting compliments from boys (;

**dad:** your flirting is very intense one on one

**pussyluvr:** does it make you uncomfortable?

**pussyluvr:** i can knock it off if it does

**dad:** no it's okay!

**dad:** im just not used to it

**pussyluvr:** as in like

**pussyluvr:** not used to being flirted with?

**dad:** yeah (':

**pussyluvr:** …

**pussyluvr:** what has the world come to?

**pussyluvr:** why aren't people flirting with you?

**pussyluvr:** that's ridiculous

**dad:** i guess they just don't want to

**dad:** which is fine!

**dad:** it's not like im missing out on much not getting flirted with

**pussyluvr:** what do you mean?

**pussyluvr:** do you not like getting hit on?

**dad:** oh no

**dad:** i don't mind it at all

**dad:** it's just? not something i need to happen to feel good?

**dad:** like i won't fall to pieces if people aren't flirting with me idk

**pussyluvr:** no i get it

**pussyluvr:** you're not waiting around for it but don't mind if it happens

**dad:** yes!

**dad:** exactly that

**pussyluvr:** people should still flirt with u more

**pussyluvr:** personally i think it's a crime that more people aren't 

**dad:** not everyone is as flirt driven as you are

**pussyluvr:** well then maybe they should change that! 

**dad:** i genuinely fear the day we meet face to face

**pussyluvr:** you'll be fine

**pussyluvr:** hyunjins still alive isn't he

**dad:** we don't know that

**dad:** it could be someone who just took his phone after he died

**dad:** it could be you

**dad:** the perfect murder

**dad:** leave him in cold blood but take his phone so nobody thinks anything's wrong

**pussyluvr:** i think that's far from the perfect murder

**pussyluvr:** too many plot holes

**dad:** but you didn't deny it's you

**pussyluvr:** i didn't say it was either

**pussyluvr:** i just said it's a terrible murder strategy

**dad:** until i get proof im just going to assume that hyunjin is just you now

**pussyluvr:** ???? 

**pussyluvr:** that is a terrible idea 

**pussyluvr:** but tell me how that goes it'll probably be entertaining 🤭

**dad:** wow

**dad:** i bet your friends parents loved you

**pussyluvr:** they did!

**pussyluvr:** thank you for recognizing my amazing character traits in such an ego boosting way

**dad:** right

**dad:** well im gonna go now before i boost your ego too much

**dad:** that sounds kinda dangerous with you

**pussyluvr:** whatever you say

**pussyluvr:** bye daddy!!

**dad:** if it wouldn't make jisung sad i might just block u

**pussyluvr:** you'd miss me too much

**dad:** yeah

**dad:** you're right

**[private dm: dad and spearb]**

**dad:** changbin!

**dad:** hello!

**spearb:** oh hey

**spearb:** did you need something

**dad:** i wanted to talk to you!

**dad:** i want to get to get to know everyone better so im messaging everyone one on one!

**spearb:** oh cool

**spearb:** you really are a dad huh

**spearb:** am i the first one?

**dad:** no minho was

**dad:** im going age order so i don't forget anyone (:

**spearb:** ah

**spearb:** what a very dad answer

**dad:** i take my position as dad very seriously

**dad:** i have to make sure you're all properly cared for

**dad:** which means giving you all the attention you deserve

**dad:** so you don't feel neglected

**spearb:** you do realize we all have actual parents right

**dad:** ????????

**dad:** i won't believe until i see proof

**spearb:** i don't know how you expect to that proof from all seven of us

**dad:** let me meet them

**spearb:** you'll have to come korea then

**dad:** okay

**dad:** one day

**spearb:** are you being serious

**dad:** yes?

**dad:** ive always sort of wanted to anyways

**dad:** now i have a good excuse !!

**spearb:** you're all very comfortable just meeting up with strangers huh

**dad:** i thought you got over this

**spearb:** no i did

**spearb:** im fine with this whole thing i promise

**spearb:** i just still have some hesitation about the whole meeting up part

**dad:** fair enough

**dad:** but you're not against it are you?

**spearb:** not really

**spearb:** if someone asked id probably say yes

**spearb:** unless it's minho 

**spearb:** then i might say no 

**dad:** yeah that's fair

**dad:** hyunjin seemed to have enjoyed his presence though !!

**dad:** im sure he's great

**dad:** well im sure you're all great really

**spearb:** was felix great

**dad:** yes!!

**dad:** he's fun!

**spearb:** and he was who he said he was?

**dad:** yup! 

**dad:** no lies detected

**dad:** except for his voice

**dad:** which i guess isnt really a lie since he never spoke about his voice to us before so i was expecting anything

**dad:** but either way i was very taken off guard

**spearb:** ??

**spearb:** is there something wrong with his voice or something

**dad:** no it's just very deep

**dad:** like

**dad:** unbelievably deep

**dad:** it's kind of incredible actually

**spearb:** deep?

**spearb:** he looks like he's have a baby voice

**dad:** well he absolutely does not

**spearb:** well

**spearb:** i can't wait to hear that then

**spearb:** im actually kind of curious about everyone's voices tbh

**spearb:** especially after hearing yours and jisungs

**dad:** same!!

**dad:** i wasn't super surprised at your voice

**dad:** your normal voice anyways

**dad:** but i was a little surprised at jisungs

**spearb:** i don't know why but i was definitely surprised at your accent

**spearb:** especially when you and jisung went off a little in english

**spearb:** i shouldn't have been surprised

**spearb:** obviously you're going to have an accent

**dad:** we talked about it before but we should definitely sit and organize a group call with the others soon

**spearb:** yeah

**spearb:** i feel like it'll definitely be a disaster though

**dad:** oh for sure

**dad:** but that's what makes it fun!

**spearb:** i don't like that energy coming from you

**spearb:** it feels threatening

**dad:** maybe it is

**spearb:** no

**spearb:** do not

**dad:** (:

**spearb:** please

**dad:** (:

**spearb:** chanathan

**dad:** my name is literally christopher

**dad:** why do you do this

**spearb:** did you say something chanathan

**spearb:** i think my wifi cut for a second

**dad:** … 

**dad:** i have a lot of regret

**spearb:** sad

**spearb:** you should probably do something about that, buddy

**dad:** you're so unruly

**dad:** you seem so unassuming but it's all a lie

**spearb:** (:

**dad:** don't use my smileys against me like this

**spearb:** (:

**dad:** where did i go wrong

**dad:** im a good dad

**dad:** i don't deserve this

**spearb:** you let your guard down

**spearb:** rule number one

**spearb:** never trust anyone

**spearb:** not even yourself

**dad:** okay tone down the edge

**dad:** i don't want any injuries 

**spearb:** you asked

**dad:** i really didn't

**spearb:** you asked where you went wrong

**spearb:** and then i told you

**dad:** don't remind me of the details

**dad:** just leave me to suffer in silence

**spearb:** okay okay

**spearb:** go message hyunjin and reclaim your sanity

**dad:** somehow i think it can only get worse from here

**spearb:** probably

**[private dm: dad and niall]**

**dad:** hyunjin!

**niall:** chan!

**dad:** how are you

**niall:** good!! im just leaving the dance studio (:

**niall:** ive been rehearsing for a showcase and i think im finally getting somewhere im content with

**dad:** oh??

**dad:** that sounds fun!

**dad:** do you have a solo?

**niall:** no ):

**niall:** im doing a group dance my class though!!

**niall:** i got a center part and im really excited about it!

**dad:** !!!

**dad:** pls get one of the other boys to record it

**dad:** i wanna watch too ):<

**dad:** and im sure felix and jisung would too

**niall:** okay!!

**niall:** ill try to get minho to since he'll definitely be there

**dad:** !! 

**dad:** did u already invite him?

**niall:** no he's performing too

**dad:** ??

**niall:** we go to the same school

**niall:** was this not mentioned before

**dad:** if it was i really do not remember it

**dad:** but i guess that's not too surprising

**niall:** that was why we met up

**niall:** he noticed some things from my instagram looked familiar

**dad:** that's kind of crazy actually

**dad:** like talk about coincidence

**niall:** ikr??

**niall:** but like

**niall:** same with you and felix though

**dad:** i think this whole thing just works out a little too well

**dad:** saying it now so there's proof

**dad:** but i think it'll just keep getting more crazy?

**niall:** like more coincidences?

**niall:** you know what i wouldn't even be surprised

**niall:** imagine

**niall:** jisung moves back and he's neighbors with

**niall:** idk jeongin

**dad:** dont say it

**dad:** it might actually happen

**niall:** why would you tell me not to say it then

**niall:** wouldn't that be a good thing

**dad:** i mean yes but

**dad:** safety you know

**niall:** not you too

**niall:** you met up with felix you're not allowed to be concerned about safety

**dad:** ????

**dad:** you should always be concerned about safety what

**niall:** yeah yeah

**niall:** but you are legally not allowed to preach about stranger danger anymore after you went and met felix

**niall:** a stranger

**dad:** please just let me be a dad in peace

**dad:** wait

**dad:** speaking of being a dad

**dad:** you said minho was performing

**niall:** yes!!

**niall:** he has a solo

**dad:** omg

**dad:** please record it

**niall:** duh

**niall:** omg

**niall:** wait

**niall:** what if we do like? a group call or something for it?

**niall:** felix said something about a showcase didn't he? like early on?

**niall:** you could go and record his too!

**niall:** and then we can all get on call and watch them together sort of!

**dad:** that's actually a really good idea!

**dad:** that's really wholesome

**dad:** ill ask felix about it!

**dad:** when is yours?

**niall:** in like

**niall:** 3 weeks

**dad:** cool!!

**dad:** i can't wait to see you guys

**dad:** you'll do great!!

**niall:** ahhhhh

**niall:** im kinda nervous about it actually (':

**dad:** how come?

**niall:** it's my first college showcase and i can already tell it's a much bigger deal than anything ive done before

**niall:** and even though its mostly a for fun kind of thing it's still part of our grade

**niall:** so i don't wanna mess up and have it impact my grades

**niall:** i wanna make a good first impression you know?

**dad:** think about it this way

**dad:** you said you were getting somewhere you were content with, right?

**dad:** so let yourself be content with it, objectively you know you're doing good

**dad:** you're doing your best, and that's good enough. don't second guess yourself trying to think about what your best should look like

**dad:** wouldn't it be better to go out and dance something you're content and comfortable with instead of trying to push yourself to some unreachable vision of perfection?

**dad:** that way you're giving it your all but still leaving yourself room for improvement, instead of boxing yourself in to always having to try to one up yourself on something that's nearly impossible to one up

**dad:** nobody expects you to be perfect, especially not right now

**dad:** so don't beat yourself up too much about trying to be

**dad:** you're doing what you can at the moment, and that's all anyone can ask of you. that's all you can ask of yourself

**niall:** omg

**niall:** im emotional

**niall:** youre such a good dad

**niall:** i wanna buy you one of those 'worlds best dad' mugs but like 

**niall:** instead of world it says universe

**niall:** bc dad rating is out of this world

**dad:** omg no please

**dad:** you don't have to do that

**niall:** you DESERVE IT

**niall:** everyone else would definitely agree

**dad:** you're very easy children to parent

**niall:** that's a lie

**dad:** you're right

**dad:** it is a lie

**dad:** but it keeps things fun!

**niall:** you're so positive

**niall:** hey google how to be as positive about everything as chan

**dad:** :D

**niall:** ur cute for an old man

**dad:** i

**dad:** i don't know if i should take that as a compliment or not

**niall:** i called you cute

**dad:** you also called me old

**niall:** it's not my fault ur ancient

**dad:** disappointed but not surprised

**niall:** :D

**dad:** right.

**dad:** well!

**dad:** im gonna move on to jisung now!!

**dad:** if was nice talking to u !!!

**niall:** ??

**niall:** what do u mean move onto jisung

**dad:** im going down the line talking to each of u individually

**dad:** bc i haven't done that

**dad:** and it makes me sad i can't physically meet up with you all like i can felix ):

**dad:** so this is the next best thing

**niall:** actually i think the next best thing would've been a video chat

**dad:** oh my god you're right

**dad:** i didn't even think about that

**dad:** ill work up to it

**dad:** have to have that group call first

**dad:** maybe after that

**dad:** i can't make sure you're not actually just minho then

**niall:** why would i be minho

**dad:** don't worry about it

**dad:** unless you are secretly minho

**dad:** then be very worried about it

**niall:** i don't want to try and understand this

**niall:** go move onto jisung now hyunho

**niall:** tell him i said hi

**dad:** will do!!

**[private dm: dad and louis]**

**dad:** hi jisung!

**louis:** hi chanathan!

**louis:** did you know you're 13.8% more likely to die on your birthday

**dad:** i did not know that

**dad:** that's a very not fun fun fact

**louis:** i think it's loads of fun

**louis:** just bc it's not fun doesn't mean it's not a fun fact

**louis:** not all fun facts have to be fun

**louis:** don't judge a book by its cover

**dad:** i don't know what i expected from you

**dad:** but it wasn't this

**dad:** i guess i never paid attention but people really do die around their birthdays don't they

**dad:** huh

**louis:** (:

**louis:** your life begins and ends on the same day

**louis:** you live and die on your birthday

**louis:** it's the ✨ circle of life ✨

**dad:** right

**dad:** okay

**dad:** moving on from that slightly morbid piece of information

**louis:** oh yeah did u need something

**dad:** not really!

**dad:** just wanted to talk to you!

**louis:** !!!!

**louis:** that's fun bc i wanna talk to you too!!

**dad:** !!! :D

**dad:** _ oh wait _

**dad:** _ you speak english _

**louis:** _ do i _

**louis:** _ i never knew that _

**louis:** _ this is so cool _

**louis:** _ i can't believe you didn't tell me sooner _

**dad:** why are you like this

**louis:** _ they always tell u to be urself _

**louis:** _ but then they criticize u for being urself _

**louis:** make it make sense

**dad:** anyways

**dad:** im a lot more comfortable with korean than felix is

**dad:** so i don't mind talking to everyone in korean 

**dad:** _ but it's definitely nice to have other people that speak english _

**dad:** _ uwu _

**louis:** _ please tell me you did not just uwu me _

**louis:** suddenly i don't have eyes 

**louis:** i can't see

**dad:** rude

**dad:** i was trying to express my emotions

**louis:** that specific emotion is denied

**louis:** i can not morally accept it

**louis:** _ but im glad my shitty english makes u feel better _

**louis:** _ im obviously more comfortable in korean but _

**louis:** if you and felix need someone to try and keep up with some english sometimes im glad it can be me (:

**dad:** you do a good job!

**dad:** your english is very good!! 

**louis:** thank u!

**louis:** i grew up around it a lot so i knew bits and pieces

**louis:** but moving to malaysia was what really got me to get my head in the game

**louis:** _ what i was not expecting _

**louis:** _ was seungmin _

**dad:** seungmin???

**dad:** _ is he good with english? _

**louis:** im not totally sure

**louis:** but i think so

**louis:** _ felix and i were talking about geese teeth in the 00 chat _

**louis:** _ he understood _

**louis:** _ so i can only believe he's secretly a genius  _

**dad:** i wouldn't be surprised

**dad:** he gives off smart kid vibes

**dad:** like i bet he gets straight As

**louis:** sounds right

**louis:** guess we'll just have to find out

**dad:** you give off secret smart kid vibes too

**louis:** secret????

**dad:** yeah

**dad:** like you try to play off that you're not that smart

**dad:** but like you're actually like super smart

**louis:** well

**louis:** i wouldn't go THAT far

**louis:** but yeah i guess im kinda smart

**louis:** i do good in school

**dad:** and point proven

**louis:** and what about you huh

**louis:** i bet you're actually some kind of secret genius

**louis:** like you're probably famous for smth really sick under a really lame pseudonym

**dad:** why does it have to be a lame pseudonym

**louis:** idk i feel like you'd probably use up all ur brain on whatever sick thing u did

**louis:** and then when its time to pick a name u just kinda panic pick smth and it ends up being real lame

**louis:** as panic names usually are

**louis:** but that's okay the name isn't as important as whatever u did

**louis:** nobody will remember ur lame name because they're all focusing on the cool thing u did

**dad:** should i be concerned at the amount of thought you've put into this

**dad:** do you just make up fake lives for all your friends or something

**louis:** yes

**louis:** for example i do not think minho is totally human

**dad:** you what now

**louis:** you read me

**louis:** i think he's a shape shifter

**louis:** or a hybrid of some sort

**louis:** i don't know yet i don't have enough evidence

**louis:** but he's definitely somehow part cat

**dad:** alright

**dad:** ill get behind it

**dad:** why do we think he's part cat

**louis:** he's just a little too close with his cats you know

**louis:** like he treats them like actual family

**louis:** because maybe they ARE

**louis:** he acts like a cat too?

**louis:** i can't say that for sure yet we have to meet in person before i can really be sure

**dad:** i have a theory

**dad:** you might be interested in it

**louis:** i am listening

**dad:** hyunjin doesn't exist

**dad:** or maybe he did

**dad:** but he doesn't know

**dad:** not after meeting minho

**dad:** i think hyunjin might just be minho in disguise

**louis:** i don't think so

**louis:** but i think you're on the right path

**louis:** maybe hyunjin is one of minhos cats

**louis:** soonie, maybe

**dad:** another shape shifter?

**louis:** or a hybrid

**louis:** we don't know yet

**louis:** but yes

**louis:** i think it's a very real possibility

**louis:** we'll have to try and get pictures of hyunjin with minhos cats

**louis:** and minho

**louis:** all of them in one picture

**dad:** makes sense

**dad:** then we can hit a few birds with one stone

**dad:** ill follow your lead on this one

**dad:** im new to this

**louis:** we'll have to talk to felix

**louis:** he's good at this

**louis:** maybe get one of the others in on it

**louis:** they can actually meet them

**dad:** that's a good point

**dad:** but who?

**dad:** not minho or hyunjin obviously

**dad:** and probably not seungmin

**louis:** definitely not seungmin

**louis:** i can say with absolute certainty he doesn't wanna meet anyone ):

**louis:** but that's okay!

**louis:** we still have changbin hyung and jeongin!

**louis:** we can work with that

**dad:** sounds good

**dad:** we can make a group chat later maybe

**louis:** sounds good!!!

**louis:** worst case scenario we have to wait until i go back to korea

**dad:** let's just go with the flow

**dad:** the truth has to come out eventually

**louis:** it always does in the end

**louis:** secrets aren't meant to be kept

**dad:** coming from you that's a little too ominous

**louis:** :D

**dad:** right okay

**dad:** it was nice talking to you jisung!!

**dad:** _ i hope we can more often!!  _

**louis:** _ for sure!!! _

**louis:** _ i always have time for u chanathan _

**dad:** i can't escape that can i

**louis:** nope!!

**dad:** okay fair enough

**[private dm: dad and harry]**

**dad:** _ felix! _

**harry:** _ chris! _

**dad:** _ when is your showcase _

**dad:** _ quick this is super important _

**harry:** _ mmmm _

**harry:** _ in about three weeks _

**harry:** _ why _

**dad:** _!!!!!! _

**dad:** _ minho and hyunjin have their showcase around then too! _

**dad:** _ i got hyunjin to agree to record all their performances for me _

**dad:** _ and then he remembered that you have one too and wanted me to record yours for him _

**dad:** _ and then we made a hesitant plan to watch all of your performances with the rest of sadpussy _

**dad:** _ is that okay _

**harry:** _! that's so okay _

**harry:** _ i kind of wanted to ask if you would wanna come anyways _

**harry:** _ and it'd be super fun to hang out with everyone like that!! _

**harry:** _ that's like next level bonding omg _

**dad:** _ okay cool _

**dad:** _ i wouldn't want to if you weren't comfortable with that _

**harry:** _ i am beyond comfortable with that _

**harry:** _ especially if it means getting to see minho and hyunjins performances too :o _

**harry:** _ i bet they're gonna be so good _

**harry:** _ the rest of you better prepare yourselves _

**harry:** _ the three of us are gonna blow you away _

**dad:** _ i am preparing myself as we speak _

**dad:** _ especially since i have to watch in person _

**dad:** _ im glad you already wanted to invite me though _

**dad:** _ it saves me from having to awkwardly invite myself _

**harry:** _ obviously i want you to go _

**harry:** _ were like best friends now _

**harry:** _ it's like your job to come support me  _

**harry:** _ unless you were already busy _

**harry:** _ which was why i was going to ask first _

**harry:** _ like a gentleman _

**dad:** _ oh I'm swooning _

**dad:** _ i can feel the gentleman vibes radiating off you through my screen _

**harry:** _ i can't tell if that was sarcasm or not through text _

**harry:** _ but im going to choose to believe you're being fully serious _

**harry:** _ in which case _

**harry:** _ (; _

**harry:** _ i knew i could get you to fall for me _

**dad:** _ i don't know if i know how to reply to that _

**harry:** _ you're supposed to flirt back !!!! _

**harry:** you started it!

**dad:** _ oh _

**dad:** _ right _

**dad:** _ um _

**dad:** _ my shoes untied _

**harry:** _ … _

**harry:** _ you're not very good at this are you _

**dad:** _ no _

**dad:** _ no i can do this _

**dad:** _ felix _

**dad:** _ im not a photographer but i can picture us together _

**harry:** _ for now ill forgive that you definitely got that from google _

**harry:** _ because that was cute _

**dad:** _ cute enough to get you to fall for me? _

**harry:** _!!!!!!!!!! _

**harry:** _ he does know how to flirt! _

**harry:** _ now IM swooning _

**harry:** _ hand in marriage sir _

**dad:** _ at least take me on a date first _

**harry:** _ bet? _

**dad:** _ bet?? _

**harry:** _ bet????? _

**dad:** _ okay _

**dad:** _ i know were joking _

**dad:** _ but i do want to hang out again _

**dad:** _ last time was fun! _

**harry:** _ okay but you're picking this time _

**harry:** _ i used up all my plans on last time _

**dad:** _ you're only plans are laser tag? _

**dad:** _ that doesn't sound productive _

**harry:** _ <laser tag3 _

**harry:** _ who needs to be productive when you have <laser tag3 _

**dad:** _ i really don't think that's how it works _

**harry:** _ sure it is _

**harry:** _ why do i need to do anything else when i get can everything i need from laser tag _

**harry:** _ it teaches me everything school could and then some _

**harry:** _ and you saw _

**harry:** _ there's vending machines inside _

**harry:** _ i could live there if i really wanted to _

**dad:** _ where would you sleep _

**harry:** _ they had some pretty comfy mats _

**dad:** _ what about showering _

**harry:** _ they have sinks _

**dad:** _ please do not try to live in the laser tag place _

**harry:** _ i spent 24 hours in my local laser tag place! not clickbait!  _

**dad:** _ you concern me _

**harry:** _ jisung would agree _

**dad:** _ he probably would _

**dad:** _ and that's even more concerning _

**dad:** _ it's hard sometimes, you know? _

**dad:** _ being a dad _

**harry:** _ please don't refer to yourself as my dad after we just got done flirting _

**dad:** _ but we were joking _

**harry:** _ do you jokingly flirt with your dad _

**harry:** _ im very open minded chris _

**harry:** _ but i have to draw the line somewhere _

**harry:** _ and it's here _

**dad:** _ NO _

**dad:** _ i absolutely do not flirt with my dad _

**dad:** _ i get your point now _

**dad:** _ if im not your dad then what am i _

**harry:** _ you could be my boyfriend (; _

**dad:** _ i told you to take me on a date first _

**harry:** _ no you said to take to take you on a date before marriage _

**harry:** _ that's being husband's _

**harry:** _ this is just boyfriends _

**dad:** _ i still want a date first _

**dad:** _im classy_

**dad:** _ and you're supposed to be a gentleman _

**harry:** _ you have a point _

**harry:** _ okay _

**harry:** _ ill take you on a date then _

**harry:** _ but you're still picking what we do _

**dad:** _ isn't the point of taking someone on a date that you plan it _

**dad:** _ wouldn't this be me taking you on a date then _

**harry:** _ not if i pay for it _

**dad:** _ im not sure that's how that works _

**harry:** _ okay _

**harry:** _ you take me on a date then _

**dad:** _ i could do that _

**harry:** _ bet? _

**dad:** _ bet??? _

**harry:** _ bet! _

**harry:** _ i have to go practice now!! _

**harry:** _ but have fun planning our date (; _

**dad:** _ i _

**dad:** _ okay _

**dad:** _ practice well (: _

**harry:** _ <3 _

**[private dm: dad and liam]**

**dad:** hello seungmin!

**liam:** hi

**liam:** what do you want

**dad:** your attention!

**liam:** … why

**dad:** i wanna get to know you better!

**dad:** especially after meeting felix!!!

**dad:** i can't meet you irl but i can talk to you all more individually!!

**liam:** so

**liam:** is that what you're doing then?

**liam:** messaging everyone individually

**dad:** yes! 

**dad:** im even going in order

**liam:** order?

**dad:** oldest to youngest

**liam:** ah

**liam:** so im one of the last ones then

**liam:** bet that's been tiring

**dad:** it really has been

**dad:** but it's also been fun!

**dad:** im glad i did it

**liam:** that's nice

**liam:** i don't know what'd you want to talk to me about though

**dad:** well

**dad:** what do you want to talk about?

**liam:** i don't know

**liam:** im not good at coming up with topics

**dad:** hm

**dad:** well

**dad:** what are you doing right now??

**liam:** homework

**dad:** what subject

**liam:** english

**dad:** !

**dad:** jisung mentioned you knew some english

**liam:** did he now

**liam:** but i guess so, yeah

**liam:** im not really at his level though probably

**liam:** definitely not at yours or felix's

**dad:** that's okay though

**dad:** you can't expect yourself to immediately be at the same level as a native speaker when you're still learning

**liam:** jisung isn't a native speaker though

**dad:** no you're right

**dad:** he just might have a little more immersion than you do

**dad:** but he's still learning too

**dad:** and he's not perfect 

**liam:** i guess so

**liam:** it's just frustrating

**liam:** not being good at something

**dad:** of course it is

**dad:** but you'll get there eventually!

**dad:** and then all the frustration will be totally worth it

**liam:** maybe

**dad:** would it help to talk in english sometimes?

**dad:** just me and you

**dad:** unless you want the others too

**liam:** maybe?

**liam:** probably

**liam:** but if we do id want it to just be you

**liam:** the less people that have to watch me flounder the better

**dad:** _ that's okay!!!  _

**dad:** whatever makes you comfortable

**liam:** _ comfortable _

**dad:** _ yeah! _

**dad:** _ as long as youre comfortable that's all that matters! _

**liam:** and if im not comfortable?

**dad:** _ then we won't do it! _

**dad:** are you uncomfortable?

**liam:** i don't think so

**dad:** that sounds like a good sign!!

**dad:** ah this is so weird

**dad:** ive spoken so much english today

**liam:** …

**liam:** do you not speak a lot of english everyday?

**dad:** well

**dad:** yes obviously

**dad:** but i mean here!!

**dad:** usually we're all talking to each other in korean

**dad:** but there was felix and jisung a bit and now you!

**liam:** is it a good weird?

**liam:** that you're speaking english with us?

**dad:** it's cool

**dad:** clearly i don't mind all the korean

**dad:** but it's always nice to be able to relax into some english

**dad:** plus!

**dad:** if you and jisung keep talking to us in english it'll probably be really cool to watch you guys learn more and more

**dad:** i feel like a proud dad just thinking about it

**liam:** it's still embarrassing

**liam:** speaking english, i mean

**liam:** it's not like i don't know what im doing

**liam:** i know i can understand and communicate well enough

**liam:** i just keep second guessing everything even though i know im right

**liam:** and it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to even talk about how embarrassing it is

**dad:** it's not embarrassing to be struggling with something

**dad:** sometimes you need a little bit of support and that's okay

**liam:** i know

**liam:** but i don't really like letting people in like that

**liam:** not when i know im perfectly capable on my own

**liam:** and you all already know way too much about me without me telling you about this kind of thing

**dad:** what do you mean we know too much?

**liam:** you're a group of strangers who know my name, my age, my birthday, my location, what im majoring in, what i look like, and you have my instagram which you can use to find even more specific information

**liam:** and now im telling you about one of my weaknesses

**liam:** it's uncomfortable having people i don't know get to know me like this

**dad:** oh

**dad:** i hope it's not insensitive to ask

**dad:** but why have you told us all of that if it was uncomfortable?

**liam:** because it's not like i really want to distrust you guys

**liam:** and i don't, really

**liam:** and the rest of you don't seem to have a problem sharing so

**liam:** i didn't wanna be the only one not sharing 

**liam:** it's just weird

**liam:** and uncomfortable

**liam:** and im trying to get comfortable but it's just hard

**dad:** that's okay

**dad:** there's nothing wrong with being cautious. id actually say that's a pretty good thing to be in this kind of situation

**dad:** but you really really don't have to share things that make you uncomfortable if you don't want to. don't feel like you have to just because everyone else is. you have boundaries and that's okay and we'll respect them <3

**dad:** trusting people you don't really know isn't something that just happens at the drop of a hat for everyone and that's okay

**liam:** i know but i want to trust you guys

**liam:** im trying to

**dad:** and you trying is more than any of us could ask

**dad:** we like having you around, seungmin. so however long it takes you to get to where you want to be, we'll all happily wait. even if it never happens, well still be here

**liam:** that's what hyunjin said too

**dad:** i knew he was one of the good ones

**dad:** not nearly as troublesome as jisung and felix. or minho

**liam:** i don't think anyone could be as troublesome as those three

**liam:** it's almost impressive

**dad:** that's a nice way of looking at it!

**liam:** yeah

**liam:** anyways

**liam:** did you really want to do the english thing

**dad:** yes!!!

**dad:** id be all over it as long as y o u want to

**liam:** i think it could be… nice

**dad:** !!

**dad:** _ expect more english thrown your way then! _

**dad:** _ now that you said it's okay you'll never get rid of me _

**liam:** _ thats okay _

**liam:** _ you're alright to have around _

**dad:** _ just alright?? _

**liam:** don't push it

**dad:** _ okay okay okay _

**dad:** _ ill leave you alone for now (; _

**liam:** jeongin next?

**dad:** yup!

**dad:** and after that i have done my duty as a dad

**liam:** you know you're not our actual dad right

**liam:** we have parents

**dad:** _ what did you say _

**dad:** _ im not good at korean _

**liam:** … 

**liam:** right okay

**liam:** you go do your dad duties then

**dad:** i will!

**[private dm: dad and zayn]**

**dad:** jeongin!

**zayn:** chan!

**dad:** how are you today!

**zayn:** well

**zayn:** im glad you asked

**zayn:** i overheard someone say that poptarts are basically just raviolis and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it

**zayn:** and what that could mean for other foods

**dad:** i mean

**dad:** that isn't.. wrong

**zayn:** okay no but

**zayn:** that kind of logic can bring us to other conclusions

**zayn:** are hotdogs sandwiches

**dad:** well what do you define as a sandwich

**dad:** i would say yes though

**dad:** meat inside bread sounds sandwichy enough to me

**zayn:** hm

**zayn:** does that mean anything that has meat inside bread is a sandwich?

**dad:** i think so yeah

**zayn:** okay if hotdogs are sandwiches

**zayn:** does that mean cereal is soup

**dad:** i think it does

**dad:** liquid base with stuff into it

**zayn:** i see

**zayn:** i guess that ruins the idea of meat cereal

**dad:** im sorry

**dad:** ruins the idea of what now

**zayn:** meat cereal

**zayn:** cereal that tastes like meat

**dad:** why on earth would you want meat flavored cereal

**zayn:** idk i feel like it could be interesting

**zayn:** you expect normal cereal but it just meat

**zayn:** like those bamboozled jellybeans

**dad:** that's honestly such a terrifying idea

**dad:** like you can make a line of cereal that all has the exact same packaging but the flavors are different and you don't know if it'll be good or bad until you open it

**zayn:** bonus points if you can somehow mask the smells too

**zayn:** like they all smell the same and you don't know the flavor until you actually eat it

**dad:** terrifying!

**zayn:** that's the point!

**dad:** kinda reminds me of the mystery flavor mountain dew

**dad:** ive only bought it once and i hated it

**dad:** it tasted like fruit loops but i still have no idea what it was supposed to actually be

**dad:** never bought one again, too afraid

**zayn:** natural selection is coming for you

**zayn:** you will not survive the winter

**dad:** i

**zayn:** sorry

**zayn:** i don't make the rules

**zayn:** natural selection does

**dad:** how do i change natural selections mind

**dad:** i wanna live past the winter

**dad:** i love summer

**zayn:** you have to buy more mountain dew muster flavor

**dad:** i think they only make them for halloween

**dad:** it's a little late for that

**zayn:** well i guess you're just gonna have to cross your fingers and hope for the best then

**zayn:** there's nothing you can do now

**zayn:** im sorry it has to be this way i hope you can make it <3

**dad:** the heart does not make it better

**zayn:** well look at it this way then

**zayn:** if you become a ghost you're not forced to stay in australia! you won't be tied down to one spot!

**zayn:** you can freely go back and forth between australia and korea

**zayn:** so you can visit us

**dad:** oh

**dad:** oh that's actually a really good idea

**dad:** ghost life always did sound appealing

**zayn:** please don't actually become a ghost unless its absolutely necessary though

**zayn:** i prefer my friends alive thank you

**dad:** ill try my best but i can't make any promises

**dad:** ill do my best to stay alive for my children 

**zayn:** that is all i ask

**zayn:** it would be a shame if you became before ghost when i release my cereal line

**zayn:** you wouldn't be able to try it /:

**dad:** oh that would be okay!

**dad:** like i said

**dad:** ghost life sounds very appealing

**zayn:** how dare you

**zayn:** i thought parents were supposed to support their children and everything they do

**dad:** i do support you!

**dad:** but i don't have to try your cereal to support it

**dad:** in fact i would prefer not to try it

**zayn:** even if i promised to give you you a nice tasting kind???

**dad:** i don't know

**dad:** can i trust you enough to actually give me a kind that tastes not

**zayn:** fair enough

**zayn:** i see your point and i respect it

**zayn:** ill just have to get one of the others to try

**zayn:** maybe jisung

**zayn:** he feels like he'd be up for it

**dad:** i think you're right

**dad:** felix too

**dad:** or any of the 00 line

**dad:** except seungmin probably

**zayn:** true

**zayn:** he might think im trying to poison him

**zayn:** but i feel like he's also full of surprises

**zayn:** so maybe he'd be into it

**zayn:** enthusiastic about it, even

**dad:** maybe!

**dad:** but i wouldn't get my hopes up if i were

**zayn:** trust me im not

**zayn:** i just like to Believe™

**dad:** as you should!!

**dad:** it's always good to believe in things

**zayn:** okay you're getting too motivational for me

**zayn:** im gonna have to go and do my homework so i can bring myself back into reality

**dad:** okay okay sorrryyy

**dad:** have fun with ur homework

**dad:** get good grades

**zayn:** fuck school

**dad:** i am going to pretend i didn't hear that!!!! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oookay!! ik i said id start writing shorter chapters so i could update more often but as u can see this is now the longest chapter yet by almost double what the current longest is (':
> 
> also, a lot of this chapter got pieced together by help from the discord by me asking a bunch of random questions so thank u to yall that sat around and humored me and gave me A Lot to think about and consider for future plans for this fic [: uwu
> 
> as usual,,,  
> come follow me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO)  
> maybe leave smth in my [CC!](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO)  
> and !! COME JOIN THE [DISCORD!](https://discord.gg/HuAXqAN)


	14. omg he said yes

**cool kids (3)**

**dad:** i think im going on a date with felix

**spearb:** you think?

**louis:** what do you mean you THINK?

**louis:** are you or aren't you??

**dad:** i am

**dad:** i think

**spearb:** …. 

**dad:** listen it was all very unclear

**dad:** he said bet

**dad:** so i said bet?

**dad:** and it all just happened so fast

**louis:** well i mean

**louis:** do you want to go on a date with him?

**dad:** i guess i don't see why not

**spearb:** so you like him?

**dad:** i don't think so

**dad:** but that's like what dates are for aren't they?

**dad:** getting to like people

**louis:** i don't think that's exactly how the phrase goes but

**louis:** yeah i guess so

**louis:** felix is pretty good boyfriend material

**spearb:** wow

**spearb:** are you sure you aren't the one that should be going on a date with felix

**louis:** listen

**louis:** it's all part of the bro code to make sure your bros potential love interests are very aware of how dateable they are

**louis:** im only doing my job here

**spearb:** yeah you only have eyes for minho hyung huh

**dad:** minho??? 

**louis:** this is not about me

**louis:** we are not talking about me

**louis:** i admitted that to you in a moment of weakness it'll never happen again

**spearb:** uh huh

**spearb:** whatever you say lol

**louis:** wait

**louis:** chanathan

**louis:** who asked who??

**dad:** i did?

**dad:** i think

**dad:** but also he did

**dad:** i think

**spearb:** i can't do this

**louis:** can u just send ss

**dad:** changbin might not understand

**dad:** the whole conversation is in english

**spearb:** that's fine

**spearb:** i don't think i really want to 

**spearb:** and im sure jisung will start yelling abt anything important anyways so it's okay

**dad:** if you say so

**dad:** dad sent 5 screenshots!

**louis:** k

**louis:** let me read

**louis:** that's so much

**dad:** _ tyt _

**spearb:** what does that mean

**dad:** _ take your time _

**spearb:** ok

**spearb:** new party trick

**dad:** i don't know how impressive that'll be at parties but

**dad:** happy for you

**dad:** proud of you

**louis:** first of all

**louis:** he could totally live at a laser tag place if he wanted to don't be a debby downer

**louis:** second of all

**louis:** he?? asked u to be BOYFRIENDS

**louis:** and you think you ARENT going on a date???

**dad:** but it's a joke

**louis:** what if it's not though 

**louis:** and even if it doesn't mean it always will be

**dad:** he doesn't even like me either

**louis:** how do u know

**spearb:** you sound like you know something we don't

**louis:** nope

**louis:** i don't know anything except felix thinks chan is hot

**dad:** hot???

**louis:** did i stutter

**dad:** .. no

**spearb:** do you want felix to like you?

**dad:** i don't know

**dad:** maybe?

**dad:** i don't think it would be a bad thing

**spearb:** so you'd want to date him?

**dad:** maybe??

**dad:** i don't know yet

**dad:** but a date seems fun?

**dad:** i don't know 

**dad:** im open to it

**louis:** do you want me to talk to felix?

**dad:** would he say anything?

**spearb:** and if he did would you actually say anything back to chan

**louis:** would you want me to say want he says?

**dad:** only if it's nothing bad

**dad:** i don't wanna hear mean things about myself

**spearb:** i don't think felix has a mean bone in his body

**louis:** ^^

**louis:** agreed 

**louis:** but ok ill be back

**[ private dm: louis and harry]**

**louis:** you're going on a date with chan??? 

**harry:** what?

**harry:** did he say that?

**louis:** does that mean you aren't.. or..

**harry:** i mean i think we are???

**louis:** omg not you too

**harry:** too?

**louis:** he doesn't know if it's a date either 

**harry:** omg

**harry:** this is a mess

**louis:** he sent me and changbin hyung screenshots

**louis:** sorry about that i asked him to

**louis:** were you like

**louis:** serious about all that?

**louis:** i know you think he's hot or whatever

**harry:** i mean

**harry:** yeah

**harry:** my flirting is always serious

**louis:** do you like him?

**harry** : i think i could

**harry:** it's not like like right now… 

**harry:** but it could get there

**harry:** does he like me?

**louis:** no

**louis:** but i think he's the same

**louis:** he could

**harry:** so he'd go on a date? 

**louis:** think so

**louis:** mostly just depends on you it sounds like

**harry:** is this like ,, too soon

**harry:** like we haven't known each other for that long

**louis:** people have asked out other people for way less

**louis:** there's no one right way to do this

**louis:** if it feels right for you then go for it

**harry:** right

**harry:** you're right

**louis:** im always right

**harry:** okay don't get ahead of yourself there dude

**louis:** ouch??

**louis:** after everything ive done for you

**harry:** 💔💔

**harry:** should i talk to him??

**louis:** probably for the best

**harry:** poor old boomer

**harry:** his old man brain must be in so much pain

**louis:** oh so that's what you're into?

**louis:** inch resting

**harry:** no

**harry:** no im done talking to u now

**harry:** goodbye im going to get a date

**louis:** i don't hear a denial!!!

**harry:** did u not see me say no???

**louis:** jared, 19

**louis:** have fun getting ur boyfriend (:

**harry:** thank u i will

**sadpussy (8)**

**harry:** _ CHRIS _

**harry:** _ DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME _

**harry:** _ LIKE A REAL ONE _

**harry:** _ NO BET? BET! _

**harry:** _ LIKE FULL BET!!  _

**dad:** um

**dad:** felix

**harry:** _ WHAT _

**dad:** um wrong chat maybe?

**harry:** oh my god

**louis:** OH MY GOD JAKSKA

**pussyluvr:** not what i was expecting to see but 

**pussyluvr:** shoot your shot lix omg

**spearb:** well

**spearb:** i guess there's your answer chanathan

**niall:** omg???

**niall:** chan and felix???

**niall:** chanlix??

**zayn:** omg chanlix that's cute

**liam:** but like

**liam:** is felix getting answer though

**louis:** oh man

**louis:** even seungmins curious

**louis:** it's serious

**pussyluvr:** well chanathan?

**pussyluvr:** don't leave the poor boy waiting

**dad:** right

**dad:** uh

**dad:** yes

**harry:** yes???

**harry:** like yes you'll go on a date with me??

**dad:** yes

**dad:** ill go on a date with you

**zayn:** he said yes!!!

**niall:** omg he said yes

**louis:** i call best man

**liam:** for who though

**louis:** …

**louis:** good question

**louis:** they can rock paper scissors for it

**spearb:** that implies that they're both gonna be fighting for you as their best man

**louis:** well

**louis:** yeah

**louis:** who wouldn't

**pussyluvr:** love that confidence

**louis:** thanks baby 😻

**pussyluvr:** 😽

**[private dm: harry and dad]**

**harry:** _ so you're serious right? _

**harry:** _ you didn't just say yes because i asked in the gc _

**harry:** _ im sorry about that by the way _

**harry:** _ i really wasn't looking close enough at which chat i was in _

**harry:** _ that was probably super embarrassing to get called out like that _

**harry:** _ ill pay more attention (': _

**dad:** _ omg it's okay _

**dad:** _ it wasn't that embarrassing just _

**dad:** _ caught me off guard _

**dad:** _ but i didn't say yes because of it _

**dad:** _ i said yes because i wanted to say yes _

**dad:** _ i want to go on a date with you _

**harry:** _ okay _

**harry:** _ okay cool _

**dad:** _ cool _

**harry:** _ shut up _

**harry:** _ im nervous _

**harry:** _ ive never asked someone out before _

**dad:** _ omg no i want trying to make fun of you _

**dad:** _ but really? never? _

**harry:** _ haha no _

**harry:** _ i don't even think ive ever been on an actual date to begin with _

**dad:** _ omg _

**dad:** _ now i feel special _

**harry:** _ i guess you are  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this took so long to get up,,, cal rlly isnt following through with his idea of shorter chapter for faster updates huh,, hes doing his best though and that is all that matters [:
> 
> anyways,, the discord has been crying for chanlix recently and now were finally here... almost
> 
> [twitter!](https://twitter.com/BINSLINO)   
>  [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO)   
>  [discord!](https://discord.gg/HuAXqAN)


	15. icarly is back on netflix

**sadpussy (8)**

**pussyluvr:** when

**niall:** when what

**pussyluvr:** give me a fucking second and ill get there

**liam:** couldnt you have just put it all in one message

**pussyluvr:** no

**louis:** its good for the dramatic effect

**pussyluvr:** thank you

**louis:** ofc

**spearb:** seems kinda pointless though

**harry:** personally

**harry:** i think its brilliant

**pussyluvr:** thank you x2

**harry:** ofc x2

**zayn:** as an ‘edgy emo’ shoudlnt changbin hyung know all about dramatic effect?

**spearb:** ???

**spearb:** that doesnt even make sense

**louis:** sure it does

**harry:** maybe ur just dumb

**spearb:** ouch? i breathed

**zayn:** my point proves itself

**dad:** hey now

**dad:** changbin is plenty smart in his own ways

**louis:** did he just ,,

**louis:** kinda agree with us???

**harry:** i think he did…

**louis:** felix hold me

**louis:** i think i might cry

**harry:** dude my arms were MADE to hold u

**louis:** bro… 

**spearb:** yeah okay

**spearb:** and im somehow the dramatic one here

**niall:** in their defense

**niall:** they never said they werent dramatic

**louis:** ^^

**harry:** ^^^^

**dad:** there isnt a single one of you that isnt dramatic 

**zayn:** except seungmin

**zayn:** but im fully convinced thats just a front

**liam:** reach level 10 friendship to find out the truth

**louis:** what level are we at now

**liam:** chan is a 7

**liam:** jeongin and hyunjin are a 6

**liam:** jisung and felix are 5

**liam:** minho and changbin hyung are 4

**louis:** okay ouch

**louis:** but i cant fault that chan placement

**niall:** youre lying if you say chan isnt your number one

**pussyluvr:** im not even halfway

**pussyluvr:** wtf

**pussyluvr:** seungmin meet me in the pit behind dennys

  
  


**liam:** alright

**niall:** braver than any us marine,,

**harry:** you know

**harry:** for the longest time

**harry:** i didnt know that meme mean us as in THE US,,,

**harry:** i thought it meant us as in like. us. you and me. we. us.

**zayn:** …

**louis:** felix…. 

**pussyluvr:** wait really

**liam:** no

**louis:** almost had him boys

**harry:** so close but so far

**pussyluvr:** i feel almost cheated now

**liam:** only almost?

**pussyluvr:** youre not worth more than an almost

**liam:** this is why youre only a 4

**dad:** enemies to lovers

**dad:** i love that trope

**spearb:** alright

**spearb:** i expected that from the twins

**spearb:** not you

**spearb:** dont disappoint me like this

**louis:** $!@)!(#&!##!???????

**zayn:** what kind of keysmash IS that

**harry:** the cool kind

**harry:** you wouldnt understand

**zayn:** meet me in the fucking pit behind dennys

**pussyluvr:** ive taught you so well

**harry:** okay!

**harry:** can we get pancakes after 

**zayn:** sure

**zayn:** if you pay

**harry:** yeah okay deal

**niall:** a successful date has been planned

**harry:** omg

**harry:** wait

**dad:** no

**harry:** you didnt even let me ask first

**dad:** no, felix

**dad:** we are not going to fight in a pit behind dennys and then get pancakes at said dennys as a date

**harry:** but think of the romance, dude

**niall:** if

**niall:** if you think its romantic 

**niall:** does that mean itd be romantic with jeongin too

**harry:** no its all about intentions

**zayn:** offended but relieved

**harry:** relieved?????

**harry:** ouch???

**louis:** ouch

**louis:** idk jeongin

**louis:** i think itd be an HONOR to go on a romantic fight then pancake date with felix

**harry:** bro…

**louis:** dude…

**dad:** you guys know that one meme song of like

**dad:** that ‘your friend steve?’

**dad:** yeah

**harry:** its only thirdwheeling if youre not in on it too

**dad:** i

**niall:** felix really has no fear

**niall:** i can only respect that

**harry;** :D

**pussyluvr:** WAIT

**pussyluvr:** you all distracted me

**pussyluvr:** i had a question

**liam:** what is it

**louis:** seungmin: rates minho a 4 on the friendship

**louis:** also seungmin: doesn't even take a second to make sure minho can ask his question

**niall:** tsundere behavior if u ask me

**liam:** its a good thing nobody was asking then

**spearb:** f

**pussyluvr:** MY QUESTION (thank u seungmin)

**liam:** (youre welcome)

**harry:** its like theyre married

**louis:** no its more like divorced

**dad: l** overs to strangers to enemies to lovers ?

**louis:** yes

**spearb:** am i really the only one feeling caught off guard upset at chan speaking in fanfic trope

**harry:** yes

**liam:** can we just get to minhos question

**louis:** right, yes

**louis:** go on, baby

**pussyluvr:** when does it cross the line from catboy to furry

**liam:** you made me be nice to you for that?

**pussyluvr:** its a very valid question

**zayn:** is that a personal question

**pussyluvr:** its purely theoretical of course

**harry:** i guess like

**harry:** like do you like actually wantto be a cat

**louis:** are you, on all levels except physical, a cat?

**pussyluvr:** stares off bridge into water for dramatic effect

**pussyluvr:** meow

**zayn:** did you feel anything

**pussyluvr:** no

**pussyluvr:** the babies didnt answer me either so i dont think i have what it takes

**spearb:** did you actually meow

**pussyluvr:** of course i did

**pussyluvr:** im taking this very seriously

**pussyluvr:** as much as ill mostly respect furries i would never want to be one

**pussyluvr:** i had to reassure myself

**liam:** youre so weird

**louis:** youre so cute

**niall:** two kinds of people

**dad:** tag yourself

**dad:** im the one looking in on this from the sidelines wondering why i let myself exist here for so long

**zayn:** its because you love us

**dad:** no

**dad:** i think i might just hate myself

**harry:** OUCH??

**dad:** i said myself not you

**niall:** i dont really think thats better but !

**pussyluvr:** self love, daddy

**dad:** please

**dad:** spare me

**pussyluvr:** no

**pussyluvr:** weve already been over this

**pussyluvr:** you secretly love it and you can not convince me otherwise

**liam:** in other news

**liam:** did you guys know icarly is on netflix now

**louis:** ITS WHAT

**niall:** did not expect seungmin to care about the whereabouts of icarly 

**liam:** oh i dont

**liam:** but i remember jeongin complaining about it once

**liam:** i saw that it was on there again and figured id say something

**zayn:** omg

**zayn:** how much you wanna bet theyre gonna take off victorious or sam and cat now

**zayn:** or both like they did with hsm

**harry:** im still not over netflix doing hsm so dirty like that

**spearb:** i wouldnt be surprised if they did

**spearb:** netflix likes to give you just enough to keep you coming back but not enough to leave you actually satisfied

**dad:** fuck netflix

**pussyluvr:** ooo

**pussyluvr:** daddy swore

**niall:** blushing emoji

**louis:** thank god for illegal streaming

**louis:** fbi agent hacking my shit please respectfully look away

**pussyluvr:** agreed though

**pussyluvr:** they took pll off and ive held a grudge ever since

**harry:** oh man

**harry:** you would be the type to like pretty little liars 

**pussyluvr:** and what about it

**harry:** nothing

**harry:** it was a good show

**harry:** i kept up with it forever

**pussyluvr:** same

**pussyluvr:** i lost interest at season 7 though

**pussyluvr:** it just got really boring for me ??

**harry:** no omg i get it

**harry:** and the haleb and spoby breakups and then spencer with caleb?? 

**harry:** do not even get me started

**pussyluvr:** emily and alison saved it

**harry:** too bad they got divorced though

**pussyluvr:** they what now

**harry:** in that spinoff

**harry:** the perfectionists? i think?

**harry:** they said they got a divorce /:

**pussyluvr:** oh

**pussyluvr:** i never watched any of the spinoffs

**pussyluvr:** i thought they were kinda boring lmao

**pussyluvr:** so i will continue to live in my fantasy land

**spearb:** that felt like a completely different language

**louis:** i didnt know ppl had that stong of an opinion about pretty little liars

**louis:** i just thought mona was cool

**pussyluvr:** good enough for me

**pussyluvr:** i was about to reconsider your love interest material

**louis:** my what now

**pussyluvr:** you heard me

**liam:** this is a text conversation

**pussyluvr:** you read me

**louis:** im sweating

**harry:** cheating on me already </3

**niall:** you literally were about to cheat on chan with jisung 

**harry:** i already told you

**harry:** it is not cheating if everyone involved is consenting to the situation

**zayn:** did chan consent though

**dad:** i mean

**dad:** i guess i do

**dad:** its not like theyre being serious anyways

**harry:** see 

**harry:** some platonically romantic dating ur pals is totally okay

**liam:** i dont think either of those words can be used to describe the other

**pussyluvr:** just let him be, dear

**pussyluvr:** it makes him happy

**liam:** dont call me dear

**pussyluvr:** aye aye captain

**zayn:** the love interests of this chat have gone so off course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> walks in 8 years late with a pink drink :D
> 
> lmao sorry this chapter isnt the best,, its very much a case of brain vomit that i tried to string together coherently in a way that goes with that absolute mess of a plot we have going on
> 
> sorry this took so long i dont rlly have or need an excuse for taking forever i was just not writing anything but ;D ive been trying to work on smth else for this fic which i hope ill be able to get up soon so i can happily proceed with Other Things so idk maybe?? look out for that lmao cal is doing his best
> 
> also im not linking my twit in updates for a while (if u want it youve probs found it in past updates) bc im taking a mental health break from all socials that arents discord basically. its honestly really helping. i still feel bad literally all the time but twitter was especially such a big source of unnecessary stress that is feeling so good to just let go of. social media is not worth your mental health, so pls take a break if you need to. 
> 
> [CC!](https://curiouscat.me/BINSLINO)   
>  [DISCORD](https://discord.gg/HuAXqAN)


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